Or the urgency. Midnight delivery? C’mon. Why pay a premium? Why not wait until morning?
Perhaps the terms of the will required that it pass into the hands of the Legatee (Balance) ASAP.
Lawyers can be awful darn literal, ya know, & ASAP means ASAP.
All I can think of is that bit in Con Air when the cops, FBI and so forth are going through Malkovich’s stuff. Some young cop takes a metal strongbox with “DO NOT OPEN” marked on the top, says, “Hey, what’s this?” as he flips the lid, and ka-BOUM.
Seriously, I don’t think you should open it unless you’re told explicitly what it is, who sent it and why. Do you have any ex-partners, ex-friends or estranged family members who might bear you ill? Any political affiliations that might anger someone? I know that sounds all cloak-and-dagger, but he who hesitates is sometimes saved.
It contains a message from your future self. One week from now you will receive the key in the mail. The first part of the message will contains details of the upcoming week that only you would know. That will prove that not only did the message come from yourself, it came from your future self. The second half of the message will contain your instructions. Follow these to the letter. In all likelihood the fate of humanity depends on it.
It contains a wallet.
It occurs to me that this would be a brilliantly evil final thread for someone planning to abruptly quit the SDMB.
…and in the wallet is a piece of paper that answers “14 k of g in a f p d”.
Or maybe it contains Donald Eugene Ivens!
I don’t think we’ll be hearing from Balance anymore. RIP.
This was a terrible thread to read in my last ten minutes at work. All weekend I’ll be sitting around with no internet wondering if maybe everyone’s guess is right and a dead relative who wished the OP ill sent a million of Donald Ivens’ dollars to explode in his face. After the time-traveling letter arrives with the key.
Chicago? Maybe it contain’s Cecil’s heart, you must consume it to gain his powers.
And really, I just wanted to subscribe.
FTR, you can subscribe without posting. Click on Thread Tools and choose Subscribe To This Thread.
I wonder if it’s from the Warehouse 23 Basement…you know, “things THEY don’t want you to have.”
Wait. Was the parcel asking questions?
Yeah, I’m among those that have to say:
“Random package delivered at midnight by a random woman” = Bad News.
I’d say “BOOM”, but if I were the OP, I would either have asked for, or seek now some damn documentation from the company that conveyed this thing.
Tripler
Yup, I’d be suspicious of someone delivering at midnight.
If someone knocks at my door at midnight, there had better be either lots of money or blood involved. I freak out if the phone rings after 11:00, let alone a knock on the door!
Didja ever see the movie Cube?
It could be curtains, or dishes or a double boiler… Montgomery Ward sent me a bathub and a cross cut saw. Once I got some grapefruit from Tampa; in March I got a gray mackinaw…
(never mind-I’m old)
I hope it’s a nice surprise.
You guys might find this interesting.
Please don’t flame them, etc. etc.
What’s this a reference to?