You enter the MYSTERIOUS basement and find (GAME)

Enter the basement of a Mysterious, Illuminati Warehouse.
Odd relics abound.
Post them here.
BTW–yes, I know there are websites like this.
So what?
Also, I am posting some of my past contributions to those sites, here.
TO MODS NOTE–I ONLY POST THE ONES I MYSELF WROTE.
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Inside a crate in the basement, you find ~~~
A Gorilla Costume.

If the costume is worn while visiting any political meeting of a Conservative or Populist group, the wearer will be invited to give an address to the meeting.

Any speech given there, while wearing the full suit, even getting onstage, & making monkey noises while scratching one’s groinal-area, will be hailed as vast political wisdom.

If the suit is removed at the meeting, the penalty for fooling the crowd is Death.

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Inside a crate in the Basement, you find
–an M113 Armored Personnel Carrier, in US Army colors.

It’s side is scarred with the marks of gigantic teeth & claws.

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Inside a crate in the Basement, you find
a Book, entitled “Why All Bicyclists Are Communists”.
The Author is Richard Milhaus Nixon

[Moderating]
This looks more like a Thread Game, to me. Moving.

You open a box in the basement and find…

…Conclusive proof that nothing is real, including the proof that nothing is real.

…A foot-high figure of Godzilla. If placed on a model train layout it will go on a rampage.

Open a s Sarcophagus and find a ancient mummified corpse of your, gender, height and weight, wearing your exact same outfit -creepy

Go in the creepy basement.
Find a small/ flat red box.

Inside is a letter. No envelope. Folded paper. Thick paper.
It has my name on it.

I open and read…

Inside a crate on level 1, you find—
A film of Richard Milhaus Nixon.
He removes a cunning rubber mask.
Beneath it is…nobody.
Nobody at all.
Nixon’s empty suit, falls to the floor.
Secret Servicemen surround the empty suit ion the floor, baffled.

… A crate. I pry it open and find
The Ark of the Covenant

Meh.
Now, if you had found THREE Arks of the Covenant…

There’s a Wardrobe in the basement!

Open in and there’s a pathway to…

Another Wardrobe in another basement.

You ask a friendly Badger for advice; he bites your leg off.

Welcome to Cthularnia.

…life-sized gold-plated Caganers of Trump and Putin.

Caganers?`

Never mind.