A cute little jumping spider.

[BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed]

@Dung_Beetle

Thank god for you, Hal. I don’t have the good sense to stay out of spider threads.

Pfft, wanna have a cute contest and see whether this spider beats a beetle that pushes around a ball of poo?

[levdrakon]

Awww, how cute. Until it sinks its fangs into your neck and sucks your brains out.

Well, it would if it could.

[Catamount]

@Kalhoun

According to this site, it appears they actually look like that.

http://www.spiderzrule.com/photos.htm

Wow, there are some really amazing spi…

BROWN RECLUSE! smashsmashsmashsmashsmashsmashsmash

As I was saying, there are some really amazing spiders on that site.

[maggenpye]

I have a little jumping spider that’s living in the cactus next to my monitor. Clever little bugger has worked out that it can’t catch and eat the cursor, no matter how quickly it pounces. Having removed it’s own entertainment value, it’s going to die.

[beowulff]

[Ron Weasley] Why couldn’t it be “A cute little jumping butterfly?” [/Ron Weasley]

[MacTech]

@DianaG

There is no such thing as a cute spider.

Shudder

Aww, but he’s so freindly, you’ll hurt his feelings…

[Ferret_Herder]

@Cervaise

Yes, it does. It snuggles right up to you, embracing you, making a soft sound, sort of like a purr, but not exactly. Very warm, lovable, and relaxing. And when you close your eyes in warm contentment, it eases slightly upward, and pushes its fangs through your eyelid into your gooey, delicious eyeflesh.

Couldn’t happen.

Eyes are really a lot tougher than you think, more like thick leather. Why, I saw a doctor struggling a bit to get a thick-gauge needle to puncture one, a spider would be out of luck.

(What, not reassuring? )

[blondebear]

What amazing little creatures. Sure, they’d pounce on you and suck you dry in a second if they could. But hey, it wouldn’t be personal. An arachnid’s gotta eat, ya know?

[Charger]

They’re even cuter struggling for air as they circle the approaching hole at the bottom of the bowl in anticipation of that satisfying bawoosh…

[badkittypriestess]

screams Spider! and runs away to get Hubby (bobotheoptimist) to squish the damn thing. shudders

[Ale]

@DianaG

There is no such thing as a cute spider.

Shudder

More importantly, there’s no such thing as a cute, jumping spider.

‘cause if there’s something worse than a spider, is a spider that can jump on your frikkin’ face.
Don’t get fooled by those Puss 'n Boots eyes, that thing will not mind in sucking up your juices for breakfast.

@Ferret_Herder

Why, I saw a doctor struggling a bit to get a thick-gauge needle to puncture one, a spider would be out of luck.

(What, not reassuring? )

Turns “Cringe” knob up to 11.

[Cervaise]

@MacTech

Aww, but he’s so freindly, you’ll hurt his feelings…

I laughed so hard my glasses fell off.

[BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed]

@Ale

More importantly, there’s no such thing as a cute, jumping spider.

‘cause if there’s something worse than a spider, is a spider that can jump on your frikkin’ face.

I read up on them because of this thread. Did you know that

@wikipedia

Their well developed internal hydraulic system extends their limbs by altering the pressure of body fluid (blood) within them. This enables the spiders to jump without having large muscular legs like a grasshopper. The jumping spider can therefore jump 20 to 60 or even 75-80 times the length of their body. When a jumping spider is moving from place to place, and especially just before it jumps, it tethers a filament of silk to whatever it is standing on. Should it fall for one reason or another, it climbs back up the silk tether.

They’re so badass that they don’t even use muscles to jump. They control their bloodflow!

[Ale]

@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed

I read up on them because of this thread. Did you know that

They’re so badass that they don’t even use muscles to jump. They control their bloodflow!

Aye, just give Viagra to one of those critters and it will jump and bound in ways Superman only dreams of.

[shantih]

@Neeps

Salticidae spiders are my favourite wee spiders - two of their eight eyes are forward facing and large, and they have stereoscopic vision. If you go up to them and move your hand back and forth they will turn to face you and follow your hand in an inquisitive manner.

How pretty!

AAAAACK!!

I’m sorry.

Goodness, that’s quite the close-up, isn’t it?

rubs arms vigorously to get rid of crawling sensation

[Cervaise]

@Ferret_Herder

Eyes are really a lot tougher than you think, more like thick leather. Why, I saw a doctor struggling a bit to get a thick-gauge needle to puncture one, a spider would be out of luck.

Not really. The doctor’s thick-gauge needle doesn’t inject a tissue-softening venom ahead of itself. Yes, true, the cornea and top layer of eyeflesh are a bit chewy when the spider’s fangs first penetrate, but within seconds, they’ve been rendered into a heavy mayonnaise texture, to be slurped up by the hungry facehugger, leaving only the hard disc of the lens behind the iris.

[Snickers]

Stop this, you! You’re not funny!

(Okay, you are. But it’s still gross. And spiders still suck.)

[Neeps]

@shantih

AAAAACK!!

I’m sorry.

Goodness, that’s quite the close-up, isn’t it?

rubs arms vigorously to get rid of crawling sensation

Oops…guess I should have put a disclaimer on there for those that are on more tentative terms with our arachnid cousins. Sorry!

[Jenaroph]

@MacTech

Aww, but he’s so freindly, you’ll hurt his feelings…

Coffee shooting out your nose hurts.

[MacTech]

@Snickers

(Okay, you are. But it’s still gross. And spiders still suck.)

Well, yeah, it’s how they eat, external digestion, turn the prey into a “Bug Slurpee” and drink up the juicy goodness…