I’d probably just ignore them and hope they get the hint. Most of my family is in India, anyway, and I hardly know anything about them. Plus we’re not in contact. We’re not estranged or anything, I just don’t call them and they don’t call me. Also I married outside so there’s that and plus no kids.
Find someone else to help you, so sorry.
And their child would be your second cousin.
Personally, even not knowing any of my second cousins, and only a few first cousins once removed, I’d consider at least third to be the threshold for ‘distant cousin’. (I do know a sixth cousin, once removed - IIRC…I know the relation is fairly distant, but I’m not 100% on the exact degree - but met her several years before anyone figured out she was related to us.)
This happened to me. It was how I first learned one of my relatives had had an illegitimate kid. Suddenly there’s a whole new branch on the family tree that no one had ever told me about!
I went (and voted) for the first two choices on the poll: I gave what little information I had (although I actually learned much more than I was able to share!) and I helped them contact others who knew this stuff in more detail than I do.
The conversation was a hilarity of crossed communications, as there are a number of men in my family with the same name. “I’m Joe’s daughter.” “Oh, old Joe Trinopus, died in '72.” “No, he’s still alive.” “Oh, then you must mean old Joe’s nephew, the one who married Margarethe.” “No, not him either.” “Can’t be the Joe you’re talking about, he never had any kids.” “Well, I’ve got news for you, then…”
I’d give no information. I am not in touch with many relatives beyond immediate family. I prefer to keep it that way.
This happened to me. I got a phone call from someone who was compiling a family tree. He said enough to convince me he was a third or fourth cousin. I believe his last name was the same as my maternal grandmother’s mother’s maiden name. After all, what could do with the information. He asked about my children, my brother’s and sister’s kids and about the children of my mother’s brother’s. For one of those uncles, I gave him the number of his widow. For the other, I could give him only the “fact” that his ex had married a physicist and gone somewhere in Texas with their two children, never to be heard from again. Given her maiden name he eventually tracked her down. They had actually gone to Los Alamos to work on the bomb.
He has now posted on a web site a large family tree. Browsing it one day, I discovered the name on an old college friend who turned out to my fifth cousin!
I realized this after posting. I guess I’m not certain, nor do I really care. They would be strangers to me.
I’m lucky; I have a cousin who is into this stuff right down to the DNA level. Any questions or contact I get go automatically to her.
I’d get some verification through a 3rd party. . . someone else that I know I’m related to me must know, or know of, this person.
The last two. Besides reporting them I’d do some investigating on my own. This would be a very odd circumstance on my father’s side, we know who all the survivors are. If it was someone on my mother’s side they’d be a pretty distant relative and I wouldn’t care much.
Phishing, maybe?
I’d be reluctant.
Since I’m the family genealogist, I’d work with them. It’s pretty easy to tell if they are actual cousins looking to connect, and I’m always glad to have someone who can fill in in details. I have some rather famous people in my family tree, so I occasionally get emails via wikitree about them from non-related folks, historians doing research, etc.
I’d have to find out how we’re related, talk with family to see if they can establish a link, and do some background work. If there’s no link found then; Sorry, you can’t have our personal details.