That’s what I was thinking - it should be okay if when your waiter comes around to take the drink orders, someone at your table says, “We’ve got one more in our party here - she would like an iced tea.” Then the waiter knows who is missing, and I don’t have to sit and squirm and wait to place my drink order before jetting off to the ladies’.
I have to wonder where you are going to get that sort of experience. I tend to have about a 90% rate of satisfaction on both counts wherever I go. Of course, I tend to stay out of big chains where the food is often subpar.
I just got back from 3 months straight living on the road in a hotel and eating at restaurants.
Trust me when I tell you a full 75% of the time, I have food in my mouth when the question is asked.
Okay, I’m down with that. With one caveat…
Don’t give me a nasty look if you return with our drinks and we’re not ready to order. I frickin’ hate that. When you do it, you can pretty much count on only a 15% tip.
But you’re in a restaurant. I would guess that early on in the meal, there’s food in your mouth more than a full 75% of the time. Putting food in your mouth is what you do at a restaurant.
If everything on your menu is priced, PLEASE tell me the prices of the specials you are telling me about.
I got hit once at a place where all the entrees on the menu were priced between $9 and $18. The waitress then mentioned a “surf-n-turf” pasta which was basically shrimp linguine and some sirloin tips. I figured since the top priced entree was $18 the special would be somewhere in the $18-$25 range so I didn’t ask.
Got the bill for my $36 entree. Thanks.
Once again, I have to ask where people are eating that stuff like this happens.
When a waitron brings the drinks, she usually asks “Are you ready to order or do you need a few minutes?” If someone in the party says we need a few minutes, the response is always a cheery “OK, no problem.” My experience has, with very few exceptions, been exactly that. I can’t remember the last time I got a nasty look. Actually, I can. It was in 1987.
The one problem I have with waitrons is when they take a really long time to bring the check.
Or the jelly.
There’s a local place where I often get breakfast. The waitress will always ask if I want jelly for my toast. I always say yes. By the time she actually brings it out, I’m pretty much finished and am ready for the check.
All of your suggestions are delightful. I kindly ask, however, that when I enter the restaurant and wish to use the restroom and wash my hands before I sit, your hostess not spring in front of me and tell me contemptuously that the restrooms are for customers only. I will take my custom elsewhere. I also ask that you merely approach the table and ask, “How is everything?” rather than bellowing, “Is everything great here?! Are we enjoying our clam strips?! Yum! I love those!” Thank you. I will pick up stray packets and such, retrieve napkins from the floor, and align all of my flatware in an easy-to-grab fashion should you agree.
I’m with you on the refill thing and the “be ready when ordering thing”. The latter one bugs me when others I’m eating with do it. However, I can’t support you asking me to wait to go to the restroom.
When I decide to eat at a sit-down restaurant, it’s usually because I’m traveling, or on a date. If I’m traveling, I’ve been drinking water and soda for at least the last hour, and have had the seatbelt pushing on my bladder for the same amount of time. If I’m on a date, she probably needs to use the restroom as soon as we get there. I don’t know how to describe it, but when I have been holding my urine in for awhile, and get into a situation where I know I’m going to be able to pee soon, it’s as if my internal holding muscles (Kegel?) muscles start to relax, and I need to pee even more. So if I needed to pee when I got out of my car, by the time the hostess seats me, I really need to go.
However, as a compromise, in the future, I’ll be sure to make sure the person/people who remain seated know what the person/people who get up want to drink. Deal?
snip
slight hijack
OK, let’s assume that I’m unhappy about my meal, and asked for it to be corrected. - my steak is well done and I asked for med rare -. Will the kitchen actually do nasty things to it? (Harummph - he doesn’t like MY cooking, eh)
And where can I find a restaraunt that has an abundance of banannas on the table? I like that idea !!!
I hear ya, man. People should stand up and walk to the restroom first. But you have a mop, right?
bouv , it sounds like you might have admired the soup nazi on Seinfeld. I think you are going to have to accept most of the irritations you mentioned as part of your job, the patrons are not delibertately trying to be difficult. I usually discuss the various dishes with the waiter to see their opinions before I make a decision. I know when my wife goes to a restaurant, the first thing she does is to excuse herself to the washroom.
I will agree recently that I have been annoyed by some overly chatty waiters. If they interrupt my story three times in 5 minutes to ask how things are going, they are not increasing their tip.
This is one thing that waiters have done, even if many high class places, that annoys me a bit. When I’m having a meal with family, with friends, and especially with a date, we’re having almost constant conversation. Now, I very much appreciate a waiter asking me how things are periodically, in fact, I’d much rather be asked too much than too little; however, SO often the waiter will be in so much of a rush that they interupt the conversation to see how things are. PLEASE, step up and either make sure someone isn’t in the middle of a thought, or give him the 5 seconds he needs to finish his thought. So many times I didn’t see you coming, because there’s pretty much a 50/50 chance of you coming from behind me, my thought gets interupted, and I lose where I was.
In fact, I think the best service I’ve gotten was when the waiter never really intruded. He would come by, if we were clearly busy, he’d go attend to something else, or give us a few seconds rather than awkwardly barging in. Late in the meal, rather than asking if we needed anything, he’d simply make himself present often. If we needed him, he could tell cause we’d be looking for him, and he could pick up on that, otherwise he could simply provide refills or whatnot without actually interupting us.
Speaking of refills, it’s something I only ever pay attention to if I’m actually running low and I want a refill. If you’re stopping by to check on things, as a waiter, shouldn’t you be checking the glasses and asking if we need refills or, better yet, just bringing them if you notice our glass is half-full?
I’ll abide by your rules, but when you bring me the check in that cute little book, could you wait for just a moment while I open it, get my wallet, pull out my card, put it in that neat little credit card slot, and hand it all back to you?
I just motioned through that sequence of events, and it took less than 15 seconds. Most of the time - even when the waitperson SEES me going for my wallet - they still take off for the hills, presumably while I check with my wife & 2 year old son to see how much of the check they have to chip in for.
The way you guys book when you drop the check on the table, you’d think it was a freaking live hand grenade.
Granted, when there are large groups you can leave them to divvy up the tab, and not everyone goes for their wallet right away, but if the customer goes straight for his wallet upon seeing the check, don’t run away like you stole something. Please wait. Pretty Please?
I think it would be nice if the waitron would ask questions during lulls in conversations, but I understand that in the long run, this would be unworkable. If you had to wait for a lull, you’d forever be in hover mode. Some people just do not shut up. Chatty Kathy could effectively bring an entire section to a dead stop for the rest of the night. Having said that, I think a theee-second hover followed by an intrusion would be a great solution.
What I can’t stand – and this has only happened to me at one place – is when the waitress takes your plate without finding out if you’re even finished yet. On that one particular night, three times I employed my Ninja fork action only to discover that I’d stabbed a tasty morsel of tablecloth.
That made me lol, probably thinking of the chances of anyone else in my family reaching for the check.
Seconded. It seems to me better for both waiter and customers if the standard practice were simply to pause, smile, and look attentively at the customers for just a few seconds. If someone wants something, they will almost certainly take this as an invitation to make that fact known.
If everyone is happily engaged in conversation (one signal of contentment) no one benefits by that conversation being interrupted. Bonus points if the waiter checks for nonverbal signals that attention is appropriate (near-empty glasses, wine bottle or bread basket, plates that are cleared of food and thus can be whisked away). Service can be good without being intrusive - indeed, it is better for that.
As some of you will know I’ve been to the USA on many an occasion.
Not once have I ever had bad service, been pestered, hovered over,ignored and so on and so forth.
Quite the opposite in fact, dining in American restaurants is a sheer delight compared with the surly fuckers we get over here to whom ignorance is a finely honed art…I’m fairly certain they have classes to learn the practice of ignoring the customer until it’s time to present the bill.
Then, and only then, are you favoured with a cheesy shit-eating smile which you know is dragged with excruciating pain from the waiter/ess in the hope of getting a decent tip.
In the States I tip well, very well. In the UK they can kiss my arse and can expect no more than the absolute minimum.
Unless I’m in my fave restaurant where I’m treated very well, then I push the boat out.
ps. Isn’t it about time you guys starting stocking English mustard in your steakhouses
The whole “asking me questions when my mouth is full” doesn’t bother me much. If there’s a problem, I’ll hold up one finger and make a point of chewing fast so I can say what’s wrong. If there isn’t, I smile and give a thumbs-up. No sweat.
My favorite servers are the ones who can communicate nonverbally, though. If my glass is almost empty, a gesture and a raised eyebrow are all I need. I’ll either nod if I want a refill or wave my hand over the glass if I don’t. If my water or iced-tea glass is magically full every time I pick it up and I never noticed the server filling it, that’s a big plus on the tip right there. If I’m drinking something that doesn’t include free refills, then please ask before refilling it, especially if it has alcohol in it.
I’ll happily go along with your suggestions, bouv, but please do me one in return. If you expect me to be ready to order then PLEASE put a list of salad dressings in the menu, and a list of beers, too. It seems to frustrate servers when I ask what salad dressings are available, and then ask for a list of beers. It always seems that the “good stuff” (e.g. the craft brews or the house dressings) are at the end of the list, too. I know your time is valuable, so if you’re spewing out a list of beers, don’t be offended if I stop you in the middle and pick the one you just named.
And then there’s this phenomenon:
<VT sits down, opens menu, waitron immediately appears>
“Hi! Are you ready to order?”
“No, sorry, I need some time to look…”
“Okay!”
<30-45 seconds pass; waitron reappears>
“Hi! Ready?”
“Ah, no… if I could just get a couple more minutes…”
“Okay!”
<Waitron vanishes into the ether. Minutes pass. VT closes menu, scans restaurant for waitron. Time creeps inexorably onward. VT listens to the chinkle and clack of cutlery on ceramic and notices, for the first time, a faint buzz of “adult contemporary” from the ceiling speakers. VT wonders—is this some passive-aggressive maneuver on waitron’s part? Am I being punished? Did my server go home? Should I get up and go look for him/her? How long has it been, twenty minutes? I should just get up and leave. This is bullsh…>
“Hi! Ready to order?”