A few tips from a waiter

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

[QUOTE=bouv]

Please, [i[please*, PLEASE do not go to the bathroom immediately after getting seated.
[/QUOTE]

Are you serious???
looks around room
Really - is he SERIOUS??
THATS you’re number ONE pet peeve?? Wow. Either you’ve been doing this too long, or not quite long enough. Bottom line - if I gotta go, YOU have to wait. I’m hardly risking a bladder infection so as to not aggravate YOU.

[QUOTE=bouv]
Odds are, someone at the table will need a refill. When either they ask, or I notice and I ask, if you think you might need one soon, but maybe not now (say you have half a glass of Coke left, but you’re still just eating your salad or appetizer,) then please say you want a refill too when I ask who else needs one. It’s annoying to have to make three trips to the same table because people didn’t say they wanted a refill when I first asked, but they do when I come back with someone else’s.
[/QUOTE]

I’ll ask for my refill when I’m READY for it - not when it’s convenient for YOU to go get it.

[QUOTE=bouv]
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE YOU ORDER!!
If I ask you if you’re all set to order, don’t say yes if you then take another five minutes while I’m standing there with my pen whilst you decide everything about the meal. Merely wanting the salmon is not enough, please know ahead of time what side dish you want, the dressing on your salad, if you want the marinade on the salmon. When I take out my book and pen, I should be able to take a table of four’s entire order in less than a few minutes.
[/QUOTE]

I’m sorry - isn’t it part of your job, yanno, being in the SERVICE industry and all to HELP me make my selection? I’d hate to see what happens if someone asks for a recommendation. Geeze. :rolleyes:

I waited tables for a VERY long time (10+ years to be exact). Paid my way through school as a matter of fact. So I DO understand the aggravation that comes with the job. And there’s bigger ones than someone going to pee or not ordering their refill in a timely manner. If those are the things that bother you so much NOW, you may want to pick a new line of work. Just sayin’.

42

[QUOTE=Santo Rugger]
have had the seatbelt pushing on my bladder
[/QUOTE]

You’re doing it wrong.

I had a waitress just a few days ago excuse herself before interrupting a conversation I was having with my preschooler. Alex complimented her for having good manners.

43

Usually when I am dropping off a check, people like to look it over and see what the total is, if they were charged correctly, etc. If you don’t want to do that and don’t want me to drop it off and pick up your credit card later, just have your credit card out when I bring the check and I will take it from you. Honestly, I’m sorry, but I have 16 tables to wait and I don’t have time for you to stare at the check while you’re going for your wallet, especially if you are going to start counting out cash. I promise I will zip back by in less than 2 minutes. If you absolutely cannot wait that long, I will wait. All you have to do is say, “Let me give you my card right now.”

My only complaint, and I’m surprised it hasn’t been mentioned by other waiters. Maybe it is because I work at a bar and not a fine dining establishment, but it seems I always get people who are too shy or else maybe they’re trying to be polite and so they quietly speak their order. “I’m a bloomin burger n’ fries?” “You want a bacon burger with french fries?” “Mushroom burger.” “A mushroom swiss burger with fries?” “No fries.” “Sorry, no fries, are chips okay then?” Nods.

People, there are 50 other people in the restaurant talking, not to mention the Blazer game that is cranked up on the TV so that it can be heard over the radio that is playing. I can’t hear you! Especially when you are at the other end of the table. And I don’t want to hunch down and get in your face so that you can whisper in my ear. I have a thing about personal space, plus, I most likely have pickle breath because I am constantly munching the dill spears while I am at work. Just yell it out at me, I would appreciate it.

44

[QUOTE=bouv]
So, to kick things off, my number one pet peeve:
Please, [i[please*, PLEASE do not go to the bathroom immediately after getting seated. You see, I don’t always know how many people get sat at my table. Sometimes I’ll notice that there’s a menu and a set of silverware but no person there, so I’ll out two and two together and wait for you, but sometimes where I’m looking from I can’t tell if there’s another spot set up. So I walk to the table to introduce myself and get a drink order, and someone’s not there. Most people don’t want me to just leave and come back, so I have to intro myself and get drinks for who’s there, and odds are by the time I get back, you’re there and I have to do it all over again. It takes more of my time, which means my other tables suffer. So just keep your ass in the seat for a minute or two before I get there (because 99% of the time I will be there to greet you in less than two minutes.)
[/QUOTE]
This really is silly. Unless you are a kindergarten teach or a flight attendant then you don’t get to tell people when to use the bathroom. These are paying customers, and bathroom access is one of the things that they are paying for – if they wanted an uncomfortable experience they would go to the drive-thru and eat in the car. Do you really think someone should hold it in to make your job easier? Why not point them to the kitchen and tell them to get their own food, then your job would be easy as pie.

45

[QUOTE=labtrash]
I’ll abide by your rules, but when you bring me the check in that cute little book, could you wait for just a moment while I open it, get my wallet, pull out my card, put it in that neat little credit card slot, and hand it all back to you?

I just motioned through that sequence of events, and it took less than 15 seconds. Most of the time - even when the waitperson SEES me going for my wallet - they still take off for the hills, presumably while I check with my wife & 2 year old son to see how much of the check they have to chip in for.

The way you guys book when you drop the check on the table, you’d think it was a freaking live hand grenade.

Granted, when there are large groups you can leave them to divvy up the tab, and not everyone goes for their wallet right away, but if the customer goes straight for his wallet upon seeing the check, don’t run away like you stole something. Please wait. Pretty Please?
[/QUOTE]

I am currently (and have been for some time) a server. One of the reasons you might get the “quick dropping off of the check” is because I think most servers feel it is rude to just stand there once the check is presented to wait for payment. HOWEVER, if I see someone going for their wallet once I put the check on the table, I assume they want to pay and get out and I will stay put. I usually say something like, “I’ll take care of that right away for you.” If I drop the check and the patrons just glance at it, my response is, “Here is your check. I’ll take care of that when you want. Don’t feel rushed, please take your time.”

46

[QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip]
And then there’s this phenomenon:

<VT sits down, opens menu, waitron immediately appears>

“Hi! Are you ready to order?”
“No, sorry, I need some time to look…”
“Okay!”

<30-45 seconds pass; waitron reappears>

“Hi! Ready?”
“Ah, no… if I could just get a couple more minutes…”
“Okay!”

<Waitron vanishes into the ether. Minutes pass. VT closes menu, scans restaurant for waitron. Time creeps inexorably onward. VT listens to the chinkle and clack of cutlery on ceramic and notices, for the first time, a faint buzz of “adult contemporary” from the ceiling speakers. VT wonders—is this some passive-aggressive maneuver on waitron’s part? Am I being punished? Did my server go home? Should I get up and go look for him/her? How long has it been, twenty minutes? I should just get up and leave. This is bullsh…>

“Hi! Ready to order?”
[/QUOTE]

This was going to be my contribution, too. I need a couple more minutes to decide sometimes, not an extra half hour.

You know what else gets you a reduced tip? Disappearing for half an hour while we’re waiting on you for something, and either I see you in the back yukking it up with co-workers, or you come back stinking of smoke. I don’t know how they work breaks in restaurants, but I’m pretty sure that customers waiting a long time for their server isn’t how it’s supposed to work.

I always wait until I’ve placed my dinner order before heading to the loo. What are we, all toddlers that we can’t wait five minutes to pee? Maybe you all need an abdominal ultrasound so you can get some perspective on REEEEEEEEALLY needing to pee.

All that said, we always notice how much better service is in US American restaurants than in Calgary ones. We expect lousy service here; it’s the norm. We just tip less, depending on how bad it was.

47

[QUOTE=featherlou]
Disappearing for half an hour while we’re waiting on you for something, and either I see you in the back yukking it up with co-workers, or you come back stinking of smoke.
[/QUOTE]
This doesn’t happen very often, but when it does it really upsets me. In a non-smoking restaurant, you think we won’t be able to smell the stench on your hair and clothes when you come in after a smoke break? Arrange a longer break so you have a chance to air out–and get someone else to cover your tables.

48

[QUOTE=Octalcode]

OK, let’s assume that I’m unhappy about my meal, and asked for it to be corrected. - my steak is well done and I asked for med rare -. Will the kitchen actually do nasty things to it? (Harummph - he doesn’t like MY cooking, eh)
[/QUOTE]

I worked as a line cook for three years, and I don’t ever recall even feeling the urge to spit in a customer’s food. Even in a place with an open kitchen, the cooks don’t match up the food they’re cooking with any given human being: it’s just fulfilling a ticket.

Worst case scenario, really, is if you send something back that’s too exacting, particularly on a busy night, you’re going to get the precise opposite. Not rare enough? Cows hurt worse than your steak will have gotten better. Not spicy enough? Your replacement food -will- burn at both ends.

49

[QUOTE=featherlou]
I always wait until I’ve placed my dinner order before heading to the loo. What are we, all toddlers that we can’t wait five minutes to pee? Maybe you all need an abdominal ultrasound so you can get some perspective on REEEEEEEEALLY needing to pee.
[/QUOTE]
Well why should I wait five minutes to use the bathroom if I have to go now? The bathroom is there for customers to use. If I am sitting in my seat and I have to go then I will not enjoy that five minutes of conversation with my friends. And the reason I am at a restaurant in the first place is so that I will enjoy my time there. And yes, I’m sure that my pain and suffering is minor in the grand scheme of things, but I would propose that the suffering caused by my server having to make one extra trip to my table is even more insignificant.

50

Looks like this thread is turning into a few tips for a waiter.

51

[QUOTE=Coup Fourre]
snip< HOWEVER, if I see someone going for their wallet once I put the check on the table, I assume they want to pay and get out and I will stay put. >snip
[/QUOTE]

That’s all I ask - Thank you.

52

I’m sorry. I really am. I try not to do this, but I have a medical condition that sometimes means that I just have to. As in have to. Seriously.
[QUOTE=labtrash]
I’ll abide by your rules, but when you bring me the check in that cute little book, could you wait for just a moment while I open it, get my wallet, pull out my card, put it in that neat little credit card slot, and hand it all back to you?
[/QUOTE]
This annoys me too, so I always have the credit card ready and on the table when the bill arrives.

53

[QUOTE=Silver Fire]
You’re doing it wrong. <snip>
[/QUOTE]

It’s an expression.

54

I do all the good stuff the OP suggests. Honest.

Now, can I ask you to please bring me the frikking check within a reasonable time when I am finished? I hate, hate, hate waiting for the check.

55

[QUOTE=Santo Rugger]
So if I needed to pee when I got out of my car, by the time the hostess seats me, I really need to go.
[/QUOTE]

You’re not the only one that mentioned this, but the most convenient quote. I definitely agree with Featherlou. Have you not heard of using the bathroom before asking for a table? I generally ask what the wait is before I reserve a table; if it’s no wait, I use the bathroom if needed. If there’s a long wait, I’ll reserve a table and use the bathroom right away. If I don’t think I’m going to make it back by the time drink orders are in, I’ll request that my dining partner(s) order me a water. (I’m glad you do the same when you have to use the restroom.)

This is a reasonably big minus for me if I’m drinking a water and a flavored drink. I generally only want one glass of tea/lemonade/punch and giving me refills without asking is not what I’m expecting except for when it’s just water. I normally put my hand over it if I see someone with a carafe of [not water] coming my way, as I usually restrict myself to one flavored drink per meal.

56

Bouv, I realize that food service is a very difficult job and I admire you for having the stamina and the skill for getting through it. That said, while I will ordinarily try not to be a difficult customer, when it comes right down to it, I just can’t be bothered to ensure that your suggestions are complied with. If I’m eating by myself, that’s one thing. But if I’m with a group of people, each of whom has his or her own way of doing things, I’m not going to accept the burden of having to make sure that everyone does everything exactly as outlined in the OP.

Eating out is recreation. It’s unrealistic to expect people who are customers to be supremely efficient in the way they behave when they get to a restaurant. You know what, sometimes people really have to pee, and they’re going to go, and I’m not going to stop them. People are going to gossip and blather when they sit down and be disorganized, and very often someone’s going to say “let’s just start ordering; I’ll figure out what I want.”

It’s a social situation – people are not in the mindset to be diligent about reading the menu thoroughly and figuring out that, yes, I have to choose two sides, etc., before the waiter gets here.

I sympathize, I really do. But, while a handful of people my be diligent in following these guidelines, face it, it’s a social situation involving groups of people. This kind of efficient behavior is just not going to happen. I know it makes a difficult job more difficult, but it’s not going to change.

57

DO NOT JACK WITH MY TEA SUGAR BALANCE!

I appreciate your attentiveness but jeez! :slight_smile: