These are hard times for gay men. I speak with the authority of personal experience.
You see, I am gay. It’s just my nature. I’ve been this way as long as I remember. Even as a boy, when I watched the dapper, suave comedy of Cary Grant or Fred Astaire, I felt I was looking into a mirror of my soul. Life should be taken lightly — that’s my philosophy. My favorite writer is P.G. Wodehouse. When I hear a Rossini overture on the radio, I can’t bear to turn it off. These are my gay brethren. I’ve learned to spot them across a crowded room.
I never thought Bob Hope was all that funny, but he was infectiously gay. He and Bing Crosby made some of the most popular movies ever to star a pair of gay men. More recently the fashion has favored black comedy, which can be hilarious too; but comedy is best when light and gay, without malice and aggression, but that tone is much harder to achieve and sustain than most people realize.
The reason the present age is difficult for gay people is that the word gay has been appropriated by homosexual activists. So real gay men have been driven into the closet, afraid to admit they’re gay for fear of being misunderstood.
Look, “gay” may have meant one thing a long time ago, but it doesn’t mean that anymore. You can be as dashing or well-dressed or comical as you want but if you identify yourself as “gay” you had better be ready to suck dick or face a lot of confusion from other people.
God what an annoying essay. I hate when anti-gay bigots try to make it about language. Oh, I don’t have a problem with homosexuals, they just shouldn’t be able to use the word gay! I don’t have a problem with gay people joining in a separate but equal civil union, I just don’t want them to be able to get married. Did I just call them gay? Sorry, I was on about something else and forgot I’m not supposed to like that.
It’s like defending your use of the n word because it ultimately just means black. If you’re gonna be a bear, be a grizzly. Scream it. Admit you hate. Look every gay person you meet in the eye and admit you hate them, goddamnit.
