A GQ which involves wild speculation about legal issues. (Please - humour me.)

Factual Questions
1

Ok, I had this dream last night - my dreams are rather vivid. What I’m interested in, is what would the prossible legal ramifications for me be, if this was IRL, as opposed to in my dream.

Ok, here goes.

In the dream, I witness Bad Guy X, shoot a reporter point blank in the chest. The reported is then wheeled down to a loading dock, by Bad Guy X, to wait for an ambulance. The ambulance crew arrives and Bad Guy X attempts to prevent them from assisting the reporter.

Some other stuff happens, and then Bad Guy X stoots one of the ambulance crew. I run away and he shoots me, but mostly misses - it’s just a flesh wound (Well, I guess I can’t get killed in my own dream).

I hide behind a trailer and I see Bad Guy X going after one of my friends from work - a teeny, tiny lady.

I go in the trailer and get a baseball bat (don’t ask me how I knew it was there - I just did - it’s a dream, after all).

I then go and smoke Bad Guy X in the head with the bat a few times, kick him in the groin a few times, wack him a few more times and somehow get him on his stomach in a submission hold that appears to be working (aren’t dream’s great!). I keep him there until the police arrive, taunting him the whole time about the horrible things that are going to happen to him in prison, etc.

So - finally, the question. Were this a real case (!), what would my legal culpability be? I realize that this is going to be wild speculation, but I’m curious.

I assume that I would get at least a partial pass, because I was defending myself (after the fact, I suppose) and trying to help my friend, who Bad Guy X was about to sexually assult. That being said - would I get in trouble for the repeated bat wacks? What about the groin kicks? What I’m really interested in is the taunting - “yer never gonna be able to have another erection when I’m done with you.” “Yer gonna be somebody’s bitch in prision” etc. Would you get in trouble for being rude to a criminal you were subduing?

And finally - would getting the bat out of the trailer make my assult pre-meditated, and would that have any bearing on anything?

What would happen? Wild conjecture and speculation welcome.

:slight_smile:
P.S. - Mods - this seems like a General Question to me, as I am interested in factual information; however, it could be an IMHO, or a MPSIMS - if so, sorry in advance. :slight_smile:

2

In most U.S. states, you’re allowed to use deadly force when you reasonably and correctly believe the life of another is in danger. From your earlier observations of X, you certainly have reason for your belief. Getting the bat would be premeditation were you guilty of a crime, yes, but since dream-you didn’t commit a crime, it’s not a problem. There are some issues here: 1) in many states, to invoke the right of defense of another, you must be correct in your belief that the other is in imminent danger; if it turned out that X was actually just going to ask her where the bus stop was, you might be in trouble, but given the facts I don’t think anyone would raise this point. 2) The extra hits with the bat and to the groin could be as issue, because once the imminent danger has passed, you’re no longer justified in using deadly force, but, since you have no good way to tell how much punishment X would be able to take until he could be subdued, you’re not likely to get in trouble for that. Even were some prosecutor to charge you for either issues 1 or 2, any good lawyer should be able to get you off as you’ll be very sympathetic to a jury. Finally, as to the taunts, I can’t see any potential problem there; it’s perfectly legal to taunt people as long as you don’t threaten them directly (and even sometimes if you do), and again, given the heat of the moment, even if there were some problem here it’d likely be ignored or excused.

–Cliffy, Esq.

P.S. I’m assuming that you really are just curious and that you don’t have a corpse in your basement. If this is based on anything like a true story, I have nowhere near the requisite knowledge of the facts or the law in your jurisdiction, nor am I licensed therein. I am not competent to render legal advice in this matter. You are not my client. I am not your lawyer.

3

Tee-hee! Thanks for the response Cliffy!!

Just to put your mind at rest, Bad Guy X was Philip Seymour Hoffman, and the reporter was Edward Norton.

Despite only a minimal amount of martial arts training, I was still able to subdue Philip Seymour Hoffman using a submission hold - an optomistic occurance to be sure.

Finally, I don’t even have a basement.

But anyhow - thanks for the reply. I woke up and was really curious. I presume the dream stemmed from my recent viewing of Red Dragon, coupled with the massive ammounts of sushi I had for dinner last night. :smiley: