Heaven help me, this was running through my head this morning when I woke up. I hope it doesn’t offend anyone, or at least offends everyone equally:
Moostianity originated from an earlier religion, still extant, known as Moodaism. Moodaism was distinguished from other early religions in that it was monomooistic. (For a history of polymooism, see the article titled Mooganism.) Moodaists, or Moos, follow the Moosaic Law revealed to them by the prophet Mooses.
The early Moostian Church was in danger of disintegrating into numerous splinter sects until the establishment of the Council of Mooce and the formulation of the Moocean Creed. Other philosophical direction for the early church came from such notable thinkers as St. Moogustine and St. Thomas Mooquinus.
Originally all Moostians were united in a single sect known as Romoon Mootholocism but at the latter part of the Remoosance the Protestant Reformootion took place. The start of the Reformootion is usually dated to Martin Moother nailing his 95 Mooses to the church door. During the Reformootion several other churches were established including the Mootherans, the Moothodists and the Mooptists. In England, King Henry the Mooth founded the Moonglican Church when the Mootholic Church refused to grant him a divorce.
Later other sects arose, notably the Mormoons (or Mooter-day Saints). Mormoonism was founded in New York in 1830 by Joseph Smooth. Smooth claimed to have translated the Book of Mormoon from gold plates buried in the Hill Cumoorah and shown to him by Angel Mooroni. Mormoons are noted for their adherence to a code of health known as the Word of Moosdom and their aggressive proselyting. Mormoons send young moossionaries into many countries, who go door-to-door seeking converts. In this respect they are similar to another sect known as Mootnesses.
Moostians generally regard Moonday as their day of worship but a few sects, notably the Seventh-Day Admoontists, still worship on the earlier Mooish sabbath, Saturday.
Some minor Moostian sects are sometimes referred to as cults. One such cult consists of the followers of one Reverend Moon. They are sometimes referred to as “Moonies”.
For information on other world religions see the listings for Mooslems and Mooddhism. Non-believers usually refer to themselves as Amooists, although some hold the opinion that they simply can’t know and call themselves Agmoostics. Some fundamental Moostians hold that Amooism and Agmoosticism are also religions and should be recognized as such. Sometimes this religion is called Secular Moomanism.
“Vandelay!! Say Vandelay!!”