That’s a weird blog, and raises more questions than answers or explanations or evidence. My biggest take-away question is: Why does this person keep personal horses in a place with unacceptable food or water available? Why would you not get your own damn truckload of water for these horses and immediately call the nearest animal abuse investigators if there’s no water available?
I hardly find this blog credible, because the person posts allegations that included her own animals - which makes her just as bad and just as accountable if any of it is remotely true.
I think we need to keep speculation about AH&AP down until the owner decides whether PapSett can buy Jewel. I’d hate for a vanity search to pop this thread up and have the owner hold a grudge.
I would suggest that if the owner changes her mind and does ‘gift’ you Jewell, that you document, document, document, document, and then document some more. Fairly recent comments, easily turned up on a google search, indicate that even a paperwork-laden ‘official’ adoption process isn’t what it seems, and that there are a number of unhappy stories out there.
Working rescue/foster/rehab/volunteer/whatever-type-of-temporary-care is always fraught with the danger that you may not be able to separate from the animal when the time comes. If, prior to the owner’s offer, an absolute perfect family came along to adopt Jewell, you would be no less heartbroken than if it happens now, when there is the possibility of her being yours. I fostered and trained assistance dogs for several years- each dog was with me for a year and a half, and each time I knew that there was a definite end to our time together. I got attached every time, and had my heart broken every time, but that was part of it, and I accepted that because I felt deeply and passionately about the work, the people, and the animals. I think, and I mean this in the gentlest way, that alongside the prayers/zen/good thoughts/etc for all the stars to align and Jewell to become yours, that you also set a little bit of prayer aside for strength for yourself, in case the stars don’t align. Because if they don’t, if that perfect family comes along, you’ll have to say goodbye to her- and I hope that if that time comes, you’ll recognize that it was your strength and love that got her off to the best start possible, that even though you were a brief part of each other’s lives it was life-changing for both of you, and that now you can turn to the next critter that needs that kind of connection, having been made better because of your impact on each other.
I would go one step further and say that would be the best possible outcome. If PapSett got this horse she would be hanging onto it by a thread. The stars would have to stay aligned for about 20 years to not set up another 30 year grieving process.
PapSett, I don’t wish you ill - not at all. But you know what I said is true. People should only take a horse on if they can afford it, not just love it. You also know that the purpose of all your work with Jewel was so that she could actually find a “forever home” and she did. That’s a good thing! Don’t take this as a personal loss; it’s an accomplishment.
Sorry to hear that things turned out that way. When I first started riding horses as a child, I became very attached to one particular lesson horse at the barn. When I showed up one day to find out he had been sold, I walked out of that barn and quit my riding lessons. I didn’t go back to horseback riding for like 15 years.
You know, I regret that I let that sadness keep me away from horses so long. That horse was truly a great horse, but I missed out on a lot of good times by not giving other horses a chance to be part of my life for so long. I would encourage you to try to stay involved in horses somehow and not let this sad event deter you. I suspect that staying involved with other horses and learning to love other special horses will help you avoid grieving this loss for another 30 years.
It might also help to try to focus on being thankful that you met Jewel and were able to give her a second chance in life. Far better that she got to go to a good home than if she had never been rescued in the first place and had gone to a slaughterhouse or a crummy owner.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out PapSett Seeing the girl you love go to someone else has to be very very hard, I know. But you DID do a wonderful thing for her, you taught her manners, and to trust, and that doing those odd things that humans ask her to do can be fun. Because of you, she is in a far, FAR better place than she might have been. It doesn’t fill the hole in your heart, but maybe it will ease the ache a bit.
There will never be another Jewel. But there ARE other horses, and while they can never replace her (nor should they) they also might help ease the sadness. Horses are wonderful healers, as you know, and that big warm neck is a perfect place to lean and be comforted. Please don’t give up horses, there are many out there who need caring people like you.
I’m sorry about Jewel - but not sorry you had a chance to know her and work with her. There will never be another Jewel, but there will be another horse for you to get to know, a different horse who needs your kindness and experience.
I feel for you – I think most horse people have gotten too attached to someone else’s horse at least once in their life, and suffered the same biting sadness that you are feeling now. I know I have. But once the rawness of the disappointment fades (and it need not take 30 years unless you want it to) I think you’ll agree that this was not only the best possible outcome for Jewel, it was an outcome you intended from the first day you met her.
You know in your heart of hearts that being chucked in some guy’s back 40 and visited once a week was not the best thing for her. If you truly cared for Jewel, with time, I think you will be grateful for this outcome.
Hello Again said it beautifully, particularly with the last sentence of the first paragraph. You don’t agree to volunteer at a rescue with the intention of adopting any of the wonderful critters you’re working with- that would be an impossibility, as they are ALWAYS unique and amazing and heartstring-tugging. You volunteer to share your love and wisdom and to get them to where they are supposed to be. Sometimes it happens that you forge a connection AND it works out that you can adopt that extra-special animal, but most of the time it doesn’t. You’ve been there 10 months, and Jewel was your first ‘project.’ There will be more, many more, if you allow yourself to be open to that possibility.
I, for one, would love to know more about the family that’s adopting her, because that’s the exciting part of rescue work! Is she going to a little girl, who will be able to grow with her? Will Jewel be learning hunter/jumper, or roping, or trail riding, or barrel racing? Will she be around other horses? I bet her new owners will be extremely grateful for all the work you did- good ground manners are a vital skill base for eventual saddle breaking, and from what you say she’s well on her way to being a perfect little lady. If you ask them, I bet anything that they will keep you updated on her progress, or even let you visit.
Take the next two weeks to love on her and continue stressing the work you’ve already done, and allow for a good, positive transition for both of you. If you need to be there when she’s loaded up, be there. If you don’t, don’t. But don’t let this harden or break your heart… you obviously have a lot more good work to do.
I think bobkitty’s take on this is very wise. As for the issue of whether it’s for the best that you aren’t able to adopt Jewel: I certainly can’t judge that, but even though it’s very sad that you can’t keep Jewel, maybe there is a silver lining that now you know how to make owning a horse work for you in the future. Perhaps you can start saving up money now for the grain, vet fees, etc. so that when the right horse shows up you’ll really be ready financially, mentally, etc.
I know you’ve posted on here that you can no longer ride horses because of physical problems, so perhaps a young energetic horse like Jewel might not be happy in a pasture by herself…but maybe there is a horse or pony out there that can no longer be ridden who would be perfect for you to keep at this friend’s pasture as just a pet.
Lame horses often have few options since most people only want a horse they can ride, so you could end up really making a positive difference for a horse that nobody else wants that might otherwise be killed. I would definitely not suggest rushing to adopt a new horse, but it’s something to consider in the long run, at least. Maybe the silver lining of all this is that it reawakened your love of horses, motivated you to find a way to keep a horse, and it will lead to something good later on with another great horse.
I’m so sorry Jewel didn’t work out, but you gave her a great foundation to be someone else’s dream horse. I know that doesn’t help much-I too have fallen in love with someone else’s horse (several times).
When things are supposed to work out they will. Maybe your destiny is to help another horses or horses in the meantime.
If the new owners are within driving distance, perhaps you could explain the relationship you have with Jewel (just so they know you aren’t some psycho) and ask if you could visit her? My friend bought her current horse from a family within the area and they still keep in touch and visit.
Just to clear up a few things- Jewel wouldn’t have been tossed out on some guy’s back 40 alone. He has a huge pasture, 2 geldings and a mule. I would have gone to work her & visit 3-4 times a week and she would have been stalled in bad weather and fed hay & grain twice a day. Not nearly the bleak existance described above.
I have started riding again, taking lessons, this past spring.
The people who bought her have already told the rescue owner that I can come see Jewel-she asked for me. But I won’t. Jewel is too attached to me and it wouldn’t be fair to her. Not to mention breaking my heart all over again every time I saw her.
I know I am being selfish about this. She will have a good home, yada yada yada. It doesn’t stop this pain that feels like it’s crushing me.
I am glad that I was able to give her the foundation I did. I believe it will make her life easier in the long run. I never wanted to work with a young horse-puppies are challenging enough- and don’t want to do it again.
I spent the weekend sleeping and crying. I never want to love this deeply again.
When I first started riding horses as a child, I became very attached to one particular lesson horse at the barn. When I showed up one day to find out he had been sold, I walked out of that barn and quit my riding lessons. I didn’t go back to horseback riding for like 15 years.
((hugs))