They didn’t. Please don’t change the facts to fancy.
You all are assuming too much. The mother took the KitKat home and shoved it up the kid’s ass to teach him a lesson.
See? She’s not such a bad parent.
As is the case with real estate, it’s all about location. I bitched you out previously for being a hateful prick in other forums, not the Pit, where it’s quasi acceptable. Feel free to continue to be a giant anus.
Apologies to other Dopers for this minor hijack.
Excellent point. Rather than saying that they threatened to call the police, I should have said that they raised the spectre of having the police called (and then withdrew it) presumably in order to impress upon him some semblance of what they perceived to be the magnitude of the crime he had committed.
I think my point will somehow survive the huge difference that does result from the correction that you so helpfully pointed out.
Late on this thread, but more experience to be echoed here:
I’ve always been an honest person, but, at four, picked up a Snickers bar at the local Ca Thrifty Drug Store, and put it in my pocket. At that age, i didn’t get the whole commerce transaction thing. When I had the candy bar in the car on the way home though, whooo: Mom drove back to the store, telling me all the way back how that was a very Wrong thing to do, also; “this is our local store, and we shop there all the time” and all the points of accountability. At four years old, I was open, and learned that lesson.
We went back to the store, and Mom went back to the register, made me say I had taken the Snickers bar, and apologize, then pay for it. Then, she apologized, too. And, no Snickers bar, either, to take home. It was a very strong lesson, hard for a shy kid, but, good to learn. So strong that the impetus is to post four decades later.
Fair enough. That wasn’t clear to me from your first post, but I agree in principle. I would have said no you cannot have the candy bar now and saved the lecture for the car or somewhere else private.
I think it should be obvious by now that a lot of kids steal–or try to. The desire for gratification is just too strong. Seems to me that the common lesson is that the parent makes the kids apologize and is denied the object that s/he stole. Straightforward and effective.
I’d like to read some posts that say the above is “bad” parenting and their reasons, please. Leave the cops out of it–they really aren’t a part of this discussion.
No, that’s terribly good parenting, and if it had happened, I wouldn’t see the need to intervene further. But it didn’t happen here. So really I think the divide is at the level of: …and then what?
Some of us feel that the store manager has a social responsibility to educate the child about the penalties for theft if the mother isn’t. As I’m sure you know by now, I’m a great fan of discipline through natural consequences. If there are no consequences for theft on the familial level (as it appears they’re aren’t), then there are *still *consequences for theft on the societal level. I personally think learning about those consequences early, when the stakes are not high, is a good thing. Does it have to be a call to the police? No. There are other social consequences of theft. Someone upthread suggested the manager should have thrown the child and mother out of the store without their photos or banned them from coming back. I think both of those would be natural consequences, too.
But another perfectly natural societal consequence of theft is having the police called, so I don’t have a problem with that strategy, either. Again, this probably depends somewhat on your neighborhood, but around here the police are happy when they’re called for something like this. My guess, from the description of the store, is that the OP’s neighborhood is similar. But I suppose a non-emergency chat with an officer or two next time one happens to be in the store might be in order to see how they feel about it.
I think I made it pretty clear, but the only reason I suggested a call to the police was not unreasonable is because, in my experience, the police often do, in service to communities they protect, take the opportunity to educate children on the law and how to be responsible citizens. It’s a matter of dealing with the issue of unlawful behavior before it becomes a problem.
This is especially true in economically depressed areas much like the one the OP describes. They most certainly recognize that an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure.
And, no, I did not suggest, at any time, that the visit should result in the child’s arrest.
Do you think that people should feel ashamed of their actions when they wrong another? Do you think that stealing wrongs another?
If so, then why don’t you think the child should feel ashamed as an immediate consequence of stealing? Do you think delayed, abstract ideas and immediate, concrete consequences carry equal resonance to a small child?
WhyNot, I agree with you. There are some kids on whom the uniform will make a deeper impression, but mama’s bleating about how awful it is won’t even register, so the cops are not totally ruled out. I wanted to take them out, though, because the screeching about the poor lil psyches and the shame, the shame I tell you! being enough to cripple a child for life seems centered around the cop being present.
I for one am fed to the back teeth with the entitled brattiness I see in kids today. They don’t get that way all by themselves–they are enabled by parents who want to be their kid’s friend, instead of their parent and by the selfishness of parents. It’s easier to just let it go and not discipline; cave in and let them have their way; buy them all manner of shit instead of teaching them the satisfaction of hard work and of delayed gratification. Once they’ve lived like this, we have to deal with them out in the real world. I am finally glad I’ll be dead, having witnessed some of the shit that plays for civilized society these days. Yeah, yeah-someone’s going to throw that ancient greek quote at me. Bite me–it is different today. Not that kids aren’t taught manners and civility, not enough kids are. Rude people have always existed–but they are more numerous now.
[/curmudgeonly rant over]
Ok, I just realized the irony of me rudely ranting about lack of manners… :smack: I won’t edit out so you all can have a good laugh!
eleanor, what makes you think the parents themselves don’t feel entitled? Oh, I’m sure you know this, but a lot of these parents are also not familiar with discipline and hard work. We live in an age where people spend their exceptionally limited income on the very slim chance to win millions in the lottery, as opposed to investing it more realistically in their future. (Not all people, of course, but some.) Some people feel the government owes them, corporations owe them, someone else owes them, in one way or another, a tidy living. You’re definitely on to something, you old curmudgeon! 
OH! I see. I misread your intent.
If it makes you feel any better, I assure you that I don’t need cops. I can shame, shame and cripple my child’s psyche with only store employees as witnesses. 
Well done, grasshopper.
BEG–I know, I know. But that thought makes me whimper and want to curl up into a ball and suck my thumb for the rest of my natural life. I have seen that attitude–it’s endemic where I work (that the hospital is this huge place and won’t miss this supply or that linen and this stuff is so expensive, they owe me etc…)
:eek: Going off to find my blankie now. I do hope I get dementia–then I won’t care!