I need something simple I can use to remind myself of things. I write them down on sticky notes. I send reminders to myself. but I need something small I can speak into and play back later. Do you know what I mean? 'note to self: pick up hot mustard for Saturday. Note to self: which cousin got knocked up in high school?.. note to self: which bra did Ann recommend? ’ things like that. yellow sticky notes don’t do it any more. My memory is getting hinky. I would like to know if there is something old school with batteries I can use and refer back to. Not technologically proficient, please nothing online, phone related, internet related, like that.*. I think of things, and 10 minutes later, I can’t think what was so important.
Quick look on Amazon. It’s still a thing you can buy.
I’m not you and you’re not me. But we both take notes often to remember those little whatevers.
I always remember to have my phone with me. I’d never remember to have my mini-recorder with me. There is an app for that. Assuming you’re already smartphone equipped.
Maybe this will do.
ETA: Although, as @LSLGuy mentioned, there is probably a free app for your phone that will do what you want.
There are also digital options, for handheld audio recorders with a much longer battery life (normally an internal LI) option.
As I type it, I see that @Whack-a-Mole beat me to it, but honestly these systems are pretty darn good, but as @LSLGuy says, it’s one more thing to forget to take with you.
My GMiL went old school, and just carried a small notepad with her everywhere in her purse. It has the advantage of not having to go back and listen to everything, you can tell at a glance.
If I were to ignore your requests for tech solutions in the OP, I’d recommend a phone with a stylus that you could write notes on, or use any of the audio recording apps. Alternately, for a more useful form factor, you could use a smart watch with an internal mic (some, not all models) and a note system.
Nm nm nm
I use a phone app called ColorNote. Basically yellow sticky notes. You can either type or use your phone’s speech-to-text. Very simple and useful. It can be saved online so if you change phones you don’t lose your notes. You can search by any word in a title or note. And you can put a little sticky note on your home screen.
Yeah, just use your phone. (I mean, there’s a default place in the IPhone for notes, and you can voice to text to jot them down)
But old school lawyers love those little recorder things. Just be forewarned: I knew a guy that was so used to dictating into one that he did the same type of dictation (where you’d say things like. “Period, new paragraph”) when talking to you.
So he’d end his thought with saying “period”, but if he had a new thought he’d lead with “new paragraph”.
ETA: I now see in the OP “nothing phone related”. I meant no disrespect, but it’s almost certainly the easiest option beyond literally carrying post it notes.
The Braintoss app is excellent for this purpose. You set it up to email to your address and then you can send text messages, voice messages or photos very easily.
I use that one too–it’s simple, intuitive, uses very little phone resources and is exactly what it says, a digital version of a pack of sticky notes and a pen that doesn’t run out. Also readable penmanship, which is something I do NOT have natively lol.
All righty, then! Thank you all for the suggestions! 
Hmmmm
I use a paper and pen. A calendar-notepad booklet thingy.
Fits in a shirt pccket.
Flip thru a couple pages and see everything you’ve written for the past few days.
Easy.
No need to call a technical help line.
And if you write in cursive, half the population won’t be able to read your secrets. 
I did that in that in the past, but I think I’ll try it again in a little notebook from the dollar store. Not sticky notes any more! I just need some little reminders when I’m online - not work related, just my own amusement.
I do that with Google Notes on Android as well. If it’s not bundled with most phones, it’s free and easy to get.
There’s a Liberty Mutual ad where the mother just writes on sticky notes and stacks them on her phone…