A modest proposal for the Straight Dope

How many people at $30 a year will you need?

I’m thinking it would be a heck of a lot easier to find ten people at, e.g., $3000 each than 1000 at $30. You could get ten just from the people replying in this thread. You could probably find one for $30,000.

I’m. I’ll pay.

My Beloved said to me, “Easy birthday present-You’re in!”

I like this. I still have the Cecil Adams books that got me hooked, and while I appreciate the knowledgeable answers to my questions by the Teeming Millions, I miss the columns.

I also think in this age of “alternative facts” and false expertise, it’d be great to have an authoritative source, one with that smart-ass edge only Cecil Adams can pull off. The selectivity re: questions would be a bonus.

$30 a year is a bargain. Count me in.

Hi, Cecil.
I knew you were out there, reading, perusing and thinking.
And I knew you had to want to meet me. Coz’ who wouldn’t?:blush:

Retirement sucks goats ass.
So, so, so happy you’re back.
I cannot tell you how much.
I’m speechless.
Well not exactly. That’s a lie.

I got stuff to say to/ask you. Things you wouldn’t ever believe, I’ll bet.

It was very hard to carry the torch. I’m so glad you’ve appeared.
I sent PMs to you lots of times. You never answered. I figured you were laying low for security reasons. Being the perfect master you were a target by heads of state, allover the world.

Anywhoo. I barely read your OP. It don’t matter I’ll always agree with you
Want a body part, my first born, money? Just ask and it’s yours.

Hi, Cecil.
It’s me @beckdawrek.
You’re “bad, bad, bad”

:kissing_heart:

Just don’t ask Beck for a kidney. It’s a long story. hugs Beck

Hey, I have a kidney in a jar.
Ready to mail.
:yum:

Yeah-used to be “Just Google it” was the answer to almost every question, but so much of Google has turned to shit.

This yes. I’d probably go for the base level because I usually feel poor, but there are people (not billionaires) who will want to do more. My guess is they wouldn’t ask for any perks, beyond the option of adding a low key title to their profile. Such as Chronic Enabler.

@Cecil_Adams, just tell me how much money you need.
I’ll clean under the couch cushions. And it’s yours.

I have a petty cash cookie jar. It’s yours.

I’ll have a Straight Dope yard sale. The money’s yours.

I’ll go to Walmart with a cardboard sign, and stand by the stop sign.
The money’s yours.

You’ve only to ask.
:money_mouth_face:

(My sign will read “I need help, bad bad bad!”)

Please be sure the subscription link will accept quatloos.

I will jump in with the majority and agree that it is an interesting idea, and I would be interested in contributing. $30 is reasonable. But if financial viability is the primary concern, I wonder whether a written column is really the way to go? Seems to me that a well-produced and monetized YouTube channel would have a greater impact and potentially be a serious money maker.

Production costs would be much higher for a YouTube channel.

This is pretty much my attitude. I’ve sent money off to help keep this message board going in the past and I would have no problem doing so in the future.

Ideally, what I’d like is for all of the functions of the board to be available to everyone, with those of us who choose to pay doing so on a voluntary basis. I feel a major portion of the quality of this board is due to its openness and I would hate to see people leaving rather than paying (or not showing up at all). I would hate to see this board devolve down into a club for a few dozen members.

I too would pay, and probably at least 10x as much as the proposed amount. I also would rather see the whole board be accessible to all, and not have access tied to ability to pay. If it will be tied to that, there should be a robust gift subscription system. So I think putting up a donation button might be the best bet – and if you want a steady stream, make it possible to do a monthly or yearly amount.

IvoryTowerDenizen:
but I’d be interested to see how it play’s out.

Can we get Gaudere in to clean up our grammar? :rofl:

Really, Mr Adams I was honored to be your lapdog before and will be happy to do it again.

Interesting idea. I’m listening to see how the details will play out.

I have nothing to say, but what kind of idiot would pass on a chance to post in a thread with Cecil???

One who doesn’t have $30 a year?

This “Modest Proposal” sounds better than the last one I read about.