I would convene IMMEDIATELY a high-level task force, chosen from the heads of our largest pharmaceutical firms, and including scientists and biochemists. I would charge this group with developing a new class of recreational drugs, which would have:
-The high of heroin
-The pump=up effect of cocaine
-The psychedelic effects of LSD
ALL in one safe (i.e. non-addictive), cheap, and readily manufacturable drug. This substance would then be made available to anyone who wanted it, as long as they wanted it, with a few provisos:
-Users would agree to buy a mandatory $250,000 life insurance policy (to support their dependents)
-Users would agree that they could never receive public assistance (due to poor health caused by drug abuse).
With this in place, I would immediately ABOLISH the DEA, and commute the sentences of non-violent drug offenders in state and federal prisons.
There you have it-I’ve slashed the Federal budget, reformed the drug laws, and made cheap, effective recreational drugs available to those who want them. I forecast and immediate drop in the crime rate, and a lot of unhappy lawyers, judges, and ex-DEA agents!
Who is for my proposal?
How do you make a drug that gives you that kind of high without any addictive effects?
I’m trying to remember the words of Huey Lewis’ “I Want a New Drug,” except that it’s been more or less overwritten in my brain by the Wierd Al parody. 
I’m all for a new drug, but not the one you’re selling. If I want a heroin stupor, I certainly don’t want hallucinations and the speed effect of cocaine. Your drug is counterproductive with dangerously conflicting effects.
The $250,000 life insurance policy is preposterous. You’re not going to get any drug past the FDA that requires $250,000 insurance. That’s way more than most people’s lives are worth anyway.
I do like the part about abolishing the DEA and reforming the nation’s drug laws, though.
Hell is Other People.
So, RTF, do you want a new duck?
“…one that’s never gonna try to migrate or escape,
or I’ll tie it up with duc-tape.”
Maybe I’ll settle for Duck Soup. 
Not a quail or an owl?
Oh, Lord.
What if they didn’t want to attend?
What do you mean by “charge”?
It would? Says who?
I’m all for that, but why wait for something else to be in place?
By what means? That’s what I’m trying to figure out.
I just hope people (especially RT) don’t confuse your proposal with a libertarian one.
Well, I wouldn’t confuse it with anything that would work in the real world. So… 
damn, and i thought some presidential candidate had proposed that we eat orphaned children, crack babies, and other unwanted kids…
I’m all for it! And I think we should add in the muscle-building effects of steroids, the mental-performance-improving properties of Ginkgo biloba, the energy-enhancing properties of speed, the mood improvements of Prozac, the attention-span improvement of Ridalin, and an all-around multi-vitamin supplement.
There should be a mandatory daily dose for all adults.
Can I be VP?
Allright, here I was wondering where the hell Soma was already, and here you go an propose something even better.