Hey, getting snot is cause for rejoicing! At least you know you got plenty of DNA. It’s a lot more concerning when you don’t have anything visible, and you have six tests you need to run on this patient, two of which require 15 ng of DNA EACH, and the DNA came from, say, a chunk of EYEBALL or something! What are you going to do, go back and say, “Oh, hey, sorry, we screwed up. We’re going to need that other eye now too.” Now THAT’S cause for panic!
Can’t you just recombine like a motherfuck until you’re up to your eyeballs in eyeball?
It sure is nice to precipitate and spool a nice, fat genetic booger after the 2-4 months it takes for a cell line to reach harvest volume. Considering the average concentration of our stocks versus that of the dilutions we use, each one gives us enough DNA to run 35,000 reactions. An investment of a couple of months gives a return on the order of 20 years.
Only 15ng, though, that’s crazy. We use ten times that much in our assays. What’s your protocol like?
Oh yeah:
Recombination involves shuffling of various parts of a particular genome. You’re thinking of something different. Perhaps you had PCR in mind?
I’m curious as to why it necessarily has to be eyeball. Now, my cell bio isn’t quite up to speed yet, but the only reason I can come up with is that the sample was from a tumor.
I meant ug. Whoops. Southern Blots.
Yeah, I work in an oncology lab. When we get chunks of tissue to test, it’s because we’re looking to diagnose whatever cancer is in there.
Ah, yes, I was thinking of PCR. Just goes to show why one should avoid making jokes in a superficially understood field. 
Though I do wonder – how do you turn PCR into a verb? “I’m PCRing like a motherfuck?” :dubious:
You could do that. Sometimes I say, for example, “let’s go PCR this up” instead of the more professional, “let’s go run PCR on this.”
Do you pronounce that “P-C-R”? Or have you recombined it to “picker”? Or “pisser”? 
It’s just pronounced PCR. And if I start hearing the molecular biologists saying “pisser”, I’m coming after you.
Yeah, you can’t even get any useful DNA from urine anyway.
See? Not “pisser”.
Though it would liven up some meetings.
NO!
You could always pronounce it “picker.” Remember, when precipitated it DOES resemble snot.
I’ll stick with pee see are, thanks.
But you COULD get it from your pisser. If you’re a guy…
Yeah, I hear they make a pump for that.
This is giving me flashbacks of my own lab days. Somehow it always seemed to be my job to answer the phone. Thankfully I never got a telemarketer survey call, but I did once get a call (while I was between timepoints on an experiment involving radioactive materials, and had only a few minutes to spare before I had to glove up and get back to work) from a woman who
a. wanted someone in the veterinary school and had dialed the medical school by mistake
b. apparently thought anyone who answered phones at all knew how to transfer calls, which I didn’t, especially not to someone who wasn’t in the university directory, and
c. still thought that saying “I’m calling long distance” will get people to drop everything and see that she gets to the person she wants to talk to.
(Now, back in the days when long-distance calls were enormously expensive and could require advance scheduling and clearing of lines, saying “I’m calling long distance” would get people to drop what they were doing, since it was nearly the same as saying “this is an emergency” or “I am insanely rich and can reward you greatly.” But nowadays “I’m calling long distance” means very little except “I’m old and still think long distance is a big deal” or “I haven’t bothered to shop for cheap long distance.”)
And then there were the sales reps–but the most annoying of those didn’t call, they dropped by the lab in person. I knew someone who had a sign on their lab door saying “Beyond this point all sales reps are considered food.”
See, now, our Fisher sales rep was awesome. Every time they screwed up an order (a couple times a year) he came in an apologized. With beer. Smart man.
The new rep isn’t nearly as good, but I suppose he would bring snot if I asked for it.
mischievous
Or “pucker,” of course. Kind of gives it a whole new meaning. “Take a message, okay? I’m busy puckering right now.” :eek:
Khan, if it happens again, just scream in terror and yell “you fool! You made me drop the virus container! Now the entire east coast is doomed!”
At the least, maybe the caller will have to change underwear.
Sure you can! Just punch the guy in the kidneys a few times before you take the sample.
Now we’re talking.
Anyway, I brought the incident up with my supervisor today. Since he’s usually our first line of defense against jackasses who would waste our time, he’s quite knowledgeable of these types of things. Apparently they ARE supposed to filter out numbers like ours. He actually would have asked to talk to the manager to politely inform them of this, gain their assurances that we wouldn’t hear from them again, and THEN proceed to streamline their digestive systems by putting into practice his groundbreaking techniques in gastroenterology.
I’d have liked to have seen that, but in the meantime I’m regretting even more my failure to righeously iceburn that mook on the phone.
Well, now you know what to say!
“Sir/Ma’am. At this point you have ruined a vital experiment, and so I will need replacement samples from your pisser to run PCR with. Someone will come by shortly to punch you repeatedly in the kidneys. Have a good day!”