My darling little snowflakes, age 10 and 12, are behaving like Palestine and Jerusalem this morning with finger pointing, yelling, accusations, running at each other and quickly running away and the ever popular " He HIT ME" . Faking a hitting noise with their hands behind my back. " She hit me back!"
It sit at the kitchen table reading the classifieds and issue my usual orders of
" Make your lunches." " finish the garbage." " The garbage entails ALL the household garbage, not just your room." " Finish the garbage." “Make your lunch.” " I won’t sign your weekly planner until you finish the garbage." " PArt of the garbage detail is to put all the garbage cans back where they belong." " Make your lunch." " Put on deoderant." “No, I’m not signing your weekly planner yet, the garbage bag is in the kitchen, it should be in the wheelie bin. Yes, I’m aware that life isn’t fair.” " You know my Mother use to tell me my face would stick like that if, but I’m a new and enlightened Mom. I’ll just tell you something more horrible and scary. If you keep making faces like that you’ll.get.wrinkles."
So as they run amok and I drink my coffee looking at the FREE KITTY ads. ( Spring is here!) I get to thinking what my children need is not a Captain Von Trapp way of making my children more autobot-ish. But a chance to harness this energy into a more CrEaTiVe outlet and damage them emotionally for my parental entertainment.
My mind instantly overlayed the way they chased after each other with their arms outward screaming at each other and I thought of two words.
Two glorious words that would solve all my problems and make them the envy of all their friends.
Two glorious words that would solve their boredom this summer whilst both parental units are working and give them exercise.
Godzilla Suit.
Anyone know where I can get my hands on a good quality one?
I can assure you that unless you make the godzilla suit thought plural, it is only going to cause more problems. I also feel the need to warn you that even if you somehow manage to find a godzilla suit, it will be a very temporary fix.
Can’t help you with a Godzilla suit, but anyone know where I can get a wetsuit like the one from “Creature From The Black Lagoon”? See, there’s a quarry not so terribly far away that scuba instructors use to train their newbie students, and it’s got sunken cars, buses, and stuff in it to go play in and see. I always wanted to hide in the bus and come screaming out at a school of newbie divers wearing the CFTBL suit. Yeah, probably half of them will bolt for the surface so fast that they’ll porpoise out of the water maybe 2 body lengths, and half of the rest will just have panic attacks and sink to the bottom. It’s the ones that stick around and laugh that will be the fun ones to dive with.
And did anyone else think of Bob and Tom’s “Godzilla” routines when they got to the end of the OP?
Do not try scaring newbie divers at home. Barotrauma is nothing to fool with. Ruptured lungs, drowning, embolisms, and the king-sized belly smack you’ll do falling back into the water can hurt, ruin your whole day, and/or void your life insurance policy. SCUBA should only be undertaken with proper instruction by trained instructors, not your boyfriend’s buddy, or the neighbor’s kid using his big brother’s stuff while big brother is away at college. Never pee in your own wetsuit - use a rental. Never try to play tag with any kind or size of shark. Never forget that when you enter the ocean, you are no longer at the top of the food chain.
I’ve actually been wanting a really good quality gorilla suit for myself, for formal occaisions ( such as funerals and weddings, in that order.) for quite some time.
I am thinking that one of my friends son’s has a handheld camcorder, he could make movies all summer long with his brothers as victims/extras/zombies/whatever and my kids could run rampant all over the place win their costumes that I want to buy.
Call your local salvation army and ask if you can buy a box that they have called, and I don’t know why it is called that, no one does, a Gaylord. They are about 4 feet-square and fold up flat. There is a bottom, but no top. With some duct tape, and the thickness of this box, it could last all summer. It wouldn’t fit in the back of a closed truck, but an open truck bed or trailer should be no problem.
Nope. Cause you gotta come out of that set of rubber underwear SOMETIME, Bucko, and when you do, everyone on the boat or on the beach is gonna know what you done, and word will spread back to every dive shop in the 3 state area that someone fouled their suit. Details will include the date, time, place, color of suit, color of car, what kind of gear you were using, and in this day and age, cell phone video, too. You’ll probably be on Youtube before you’re out of the parking lot.
Bottom line - either use the beach’s bathhouse before you get in the water, or else take the suit off underwater, clean it off, and put it back on before you get topside. Which is probably tougher than armwrestling an octopus.