A pattern of taking easier routes as I age

Something that has really been bugging me for the past 5 years or so. I find myself progressively finding ways to put out less effort to avoid getting worn out. Everytime I do this I can’t help but think I am contributing to my own decline. I carry smaller load of lumber when unloading my truck, I am quicker to get a dolly for something heavy that I used to carry. I take elevators more often, I jump in the car to go two blocks to the store, etc. Every time I do this I say to myself next time I will do it the hard way, just too tired today.

 If I thought I was just setting myself up for a slow natural decline as I age it wouldn't bother me too much but I very often feel like I don't push myself hard enough. Is this just a slow form of suicide?

This certainly rings true for me. Part of it is realizing I am mortal, and part of it is that I just flat out don’t have the energy I did when I was young. I find I am more careful about things that could cause injury, even mundane things like using stairs. I too will grab a hand truck to move a couple of heavy boxes of paper, when 5 years ago I would have just picked them up and carried them. Now I’m not willing to risk back injury. Maybe it’s that we’re getting smarter… yeah, that’s the ticket.

Short answer: yes. If you want to remain vigorously active, you have to push against the tiredness and make yourself do it anyway.

Here, as an example, is my father’s life:

For reasons best known to them, my parents moved from the city out to the country in their 50’s, while my father was still working. They had about 25 acres or so, on which they had a vegetable and fruit garden, and some acres devoted to pasturage, and some devoted to hay production for the winter. They had, at various times, cattle, pigs, chickens and rabbits, but always cattle. My father had to get up every morning and milk the one cow and move the sprinklers in the hay fields, before he went to work; he did this again when he got home from work, plus of course hundreds of other chores and projects around the farm.

When they sold out and went back to the city my father was 67. He still had a 30" waist and could still buck hay bales.

For the next 10 years, he kept active doing home renovations, buying cheap, fixing them up, then renting them and eventually selling them to the renters where possible. He was still very healthy and active.

Then my mother got too frail to be left alone so he had to give all that up. He got no exercise at all, and within 5 years he didn’t want to hardly move. After my mother died he refused to perform any kind of exercise, even though he had an operation for spinal stenosis from which he needed exercise to recover his mobility. To avoid walking anywhere, he got a Segway and rode that around and even took it inside stores. So he kept mobility of a kind, at the cost of his own ability to move. By the time he died at 87 he could barely shuffle from one room to another, and the only reason was that he never exercised, never got out of breath.

I fight this tendency by going to the gym four times a week and forcing myself to do cardio for up to an hour. I get hot and sweaty, and some days are harder than others. I also do extra walking on my commute back and forth to work (not using the closest train station, for example). Even with that, I don’t walk as fast as I used to and I probably can’t walk as far. But it’s a lot better than it would be without this extra exercise.

My heartfelt advice is don’t give in to the tiredness, push yourself to do it the hard way, and add in some extra exercise just to keep your blood pumping. There are different ways to be old, and in my opinion the easy way is the hardest.

Missed edit window:

By all means don’t risk injury by trying to lift things that are too heavy; but do work to keep up your upper body strength so that you can pick yourself up off the floor. And don’t fail to keep active just because it’s harder now.

Good examples and good advice. We had an old guy across the street from me that I kind of hold up as my roll model. Well into his late 70’s he was mixing cement and putting in brick planters, painting the house, carpentry etc. He had a moderate stroke that he recovered from pretty well but never got his stamina back.

I agree but with the caveat that there’s pushing and then there’s PUSHING.

2 blocks to the store? get your ass outta the car seat and walk (unless you’re doing your weekly stock-up-on-everything in which case don’t be a fool).

50 pound stack of lumber? Split it in two and take 25 per trip (and as a side benefit you’re getting extra walking). Your body is simply NOT as resilient as it was 20 years ago and things that would have caused no problem then would be easier to injure now.

I’m mid 50s and very cognizant of this right now: I just spent the past week in Florida helping my husband’s parents move house. I am NOT in great shape physically, though I can walk long distances and usually manage to do so without injuring myself. It was a little frightening to be reminded that I was the most “able” person in that house.

FIL is 78, MIL is 75. Both have been morbidly obese as long as I’ve known them.

FIL, since retiring to Florida 12 years ago, has “lost weight” per what my MIL insists - though it’s not visible to me. He was very active for a while (walking a lot) but now does very little (ancient back issues flaring up). So there’s a limit to how much he CAN push it.

MIL has had one hip replaced, and is finally going to do the other one. She also can NOT push things right now. Hell, she can barely walk 10 steps.

FIL either fell, or got down on the floor to do something at the new house, and had to shout for me to come help him up. In fairness, the furniture wasn’t there yet; if so he could have pulled himself up on that, but MIL certainly could not have helped him except maybe to shuffle over to him and let him use her walker. So I’m VERY thankful I was there and also thankful that by bending over and letting him brace himself on my back, he was able to pull himself up (my shoulder joints aren’t up to the task of hauling much weight).

In both cases, if they’d pushed the physical effort 20 years ago I believe they’d be in better shape now. I mean, hips go bad, but she might not have had as much weight aggravating the hips and knees, and he might not have kidney and vision issues related to poorly-controlled diabetes related to the obesity and inactivity.

Yes, keep pushing. I fight this fight too. I tell myself - the more you do, the more you can do.

My parents being a great example. Both in their 70’s. Dad does nothing, can barely get up the step to our door, and looks every year of his age. My mom walks every day, gardens, takes fitness classes, hikes, gets mad at me when I try and help out, and looks like she’s in her early 60’s. Did I mention she had a heart valve replaced? Didn’t slow her down…

It’s a PITA though.

you do need to keep pushing but maybe in a controlled way.

it’s not lifting weights that might be bad, push yourself in a gym or exercise room.

carrying objects that might be hard to balance, especially when maneuvering might lead to an injury.

I can’t run any more… But, by God, I keep on walking!

When I had a nice cushy desk job I would go out bike riding and enjoyed physical labor. After getting laid off and having to deal with low paying physical labor jobs I stopped bike riding and other fun sources of exercise. I’m too tired and sore after work and I’m not torturing myself for the privilege of living longer. It seems counter productive.

As I approach 60, I’ve noticed this as well. Has anyone else noticed a change in their “ROI” calculations* (for lack of a better term)? 15 years ago, I had no problem loading up for a weekend camping trip, but now it seems like too much trouble for just a few days. I still go camping, but won’t go thru all the prep hassle unless I get 4 or 5 days out of it.

I also find that some heavy lifting, while not actually harmful, is just too much trouble. I’ve mounted an overhead block and tackle in the garage for lifting toolboxes or the 5th wheel hitch into the pickup bed. I’ve also bought a two-wheeler for heavier stuff, and (don’t laugh) I use the kid’s old toy wagon to pull my tools around the yard rather than carry a heavy toolbox. And last year I mounted a large electric winch to haul my boat onto the trailer. I was getting sore and winded from dragging the thing aboard.

I don’t know if this is wise caution for old bones, of just allowing age and laziness to prevail. Probably a little of both, but leaning toward “wise” for the heavy lifting. I have no back problems, and would like to keep it that way.

*Return on investment

ROI is the perfect way to describe it. A bike ride now means I have to mount a rack on my car, mount the bike on the rack, pack some snacks and cold drinks and then drive to a bike path. It isn’t worth the time. I use to ride all over the place but now every road seems like a 6 lane freeway. Nobody gives way anymore and I don’t want to be one of those people who get run over while exercising.

But I digress. I go camping once a year. It’s a huge event involving weeks of planning and when I get there I’m walking all day long. Probably 10 miles a day. I’m tired just thinking of it. I use to do all kinds of remodeling. I built a garage, rebuilt the chimney, replaced all the old water lines, that kind of thing. The idea of building a garage again makes me laugh. Maybe because I now realize how much labor went into it.

As for hauling tools around, I use roller devices too. I also have a kids backpack with wheels that lets me roll them around or carry tools on my back if I have to make a junkyard run.

Just doing regular day-to-day activities isn’t going to make you better at them. You’ve already adapted to that stress. You need to get stronger, by adapting to a slightly higher stress. Lift a barbell. And put a little more weight on it each time you work out. Stress, adaptation, rinse, repeat.