A personal story about a pinch of goodwill and perseverance

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

An insignificant step for mankind, but a huge leap for myself.

I come from a traditional background where the men handle heavy work and household repairs, while cooking is almost entirely reserved for women. I grew up believing I wasn’t meant for cooking, and that producing something edible required either natural talent or special training.

My parents did make me clean my room when I was young. I must have been nine, perhaps even earlier. I was expected to tidy up, clean the carpet, wash the floor, and dust every exposed surface. Every day. To this day I hate any kind of bibelot. I happily clean the entire house, but I refuse to dust. Naturally, my wife loves bibelots.

During my military service, I got used to washing my personal items by hand. Even now I still handwash my shirts, socks, and underwear. And I believe dishwashers are pointless.

A couple of months ago, my wife was away visiting a relative, and I had to take care of feeding myself. This was never a problem. I enjoy a limited range of dishes, vegetables, and fruit, all easy to find. The fact that I didn’t cook didn’t matter because I love salads and have always prepared them for my family. I don’t consider making a salad to be real cooking.

But one day I wondered whether I could make a simple vegetable soup, since I’m “so good” at salads. I followed an online recipe and was shocked to discover that my soup was not only edible but really tasty. Since then, I’ve been cooking my own soup, which is important, because I eat vegetable soup every day. I also feel a little guilty that my wife used to cook it for me all this time.

So I decided to surprise her by cooking something for her as well. I admit I was getting a bit overconfident, but the timing felt right: last weekend we were discussing how little fish we eat, and we agreed to buy some cod and prepare something simple. Of course, my wife assumed she would be the one cooking it, but I had other plans.

I thought I could poach the fish and make some rice (something I had never done before) especially since Google AI seemed so encouraging. On Wednesday morning I was determined: I would buy the ingredients and have dinner ready by 7 p.m., just in time for my wife’s arrival. By noon, however, I had become too nervous and abandoned the plan.

I’m terrible at keeping secrets, so the next morning over breakfast I confessed everything. My wife was half amused, half flattered. She told me I didn’t have to do any of this, but if I really wanted to try, she could give me a few pointers. Which she did.

So on Friday (yesterday), with renewed determination, I came home at 6 p.m. carrying all the necessary ingredients. I rinsed a cup of rice, “fried” a bit of garlic in olive oil for 30 seconds, added the rice, stirred it gently, then poured in two cups of water. Once it started boiling, I covered the pot and lowered the heat.

I took the cod out of its plastic wrapper, dried the pieces on paper towels, and salted them lightly. In a pan, I warmed some olive oil and “fried” the garlic for about a minute. Then I added the diced tomatoes and their juice (which I had already prepared, skin removed), white wine, and salt. I should have waited for the mixture to boil, but I forgot and placed the cod in immediately before covering the pan. It took about half an hour for the fish to cook, and by the time my wife arrived, I was almost done.

And surprisingly, the dish was very tasty.

2

beautiful! Finding you can do something you always thought you couldn’t is such a gratifying and empowering feeling. And, unlike something like strenuous sports, cooking is something you can do your whole life, continually building your skills and confidence.

3

Thank you. I had a DIY attitude, where you think you can complete a small project in your own garage if you have the right tools, the right materials, and you follow the instructions carefully.

4

With instructions on how to do everything on youtube nowadays, one can tackle a lot of things never before tried. I learned how to clear out old caulk and re-caulk a bathtub, and do it professionally, a couple of years ago. What a feeling of accomplishment.

Kudos to you for tackling cooking. It’s delightful to eat a successfully cooked meal at home.

5

I hate bibelots too! And thanks for teaching me that word.
I consider myself an experienced cook, but sometimes things still don’t turn out the way I want. So keep cooking, make some mistakes, and have fun. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.

6

Congrats on your newly-found abilities.

They (and clothes washers) save a lots of water, compared to hand-washing, to say nothing of your time.

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Tap water consumption in my country is significantly lower than the European average. Would the planet benefit from my using more electricity?

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I offer the facts. What anyone does with them is up to them.

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But one should not ignore other facts being presented. Like the fact that people in my neck of the woods actually save more tap water than the average European, and the fact that despite saving water, dishwashers waste electricity.

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They use electricity and save water. Hand-washing wastes water and uses no electricity. And as I mentioned, machines save your time.

But you do you. I don’t need to persuade you to change.

11

I agree. I learned how to use decorative paints and gave my home a fresh look. Painters are not very cheap in general, but professionals who know how to use decorative paints are rare around here and charge a lot too.

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It comes from French and it’s widely use in my native language. Probably an American would rather say knickknacks.

13

Time management is a complex issue because it is deeply connected to one’s lifestyle. And once you start discussing lifestyles, things quickly become philosophical.

I’m happy to be European, and especially Eastern European. My brother, by contrast, graduated from an American university, married an American woman, and now lives in “the world’s greatest country.” He’s an engineer who travels constantly for work. Naturally, he has a dishwasher.

Most people are familiar with the Slow Food philosophy that originated in Italy, or with the siesta culture in Spain and Greece. Much less is known about the countries beyond Germany or Hungary; the Balkans rarely attract attention. Yet many people in Eastern Europe still follow traditions they genuinely enjoy. It’s not just local pride. It’s a kind of “joie de vivre.” Even in the digital age, people here have learned to adapt to global trends while preserving healthy, grounded habits.

One important rule of time management is limiting screen time. Television is practically obsolete. Use your computer for work, and your smartphone as little as possible. For example, you might watch a short video about a home improvement project and then spend the rest of the day actually doing it.

Of course, you can save time by hiring a professional. You can also order food instead of cooking. But staying busy has become such a priority that local laws have even been amended to allow citizens to use designated plots on public lawns to grow their own flowers or vegetables if they wish.

Reading paper books is encouraged over e‑books. Bookster, for instance, is a corporate library subscription service where employers pay a fee so employees can borrow books delivered directly to the office or to their homes. My family has used it for years.

But people tend to sit too much, so a second important rule is to include as many activities as possible that don’t involve sitting. Walking is the obvious choice, but even at home you can tackle small improvement projects, tidy neglected areas, or wash small items by hand. This saves electricity too, since neither the washing machine nor the dryer is needed.

My family also keeps the tradition of making jams, pickles, and zacusca (a smoky vegetable spread popular throughout the Balkans). In my hometown on the Black Sea coast, many people learn to fish and prepare brined fish as children. My brother is an expert. My wife and I aren’t big fish eaters, but we love zacusca. It’s one of the most delicious things you can eat. And of course, it tastes infinitely better when you make it yourself.

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