How is the best way to handle an 8 year old boy who constantly “stirs the pot”? My daughter is engaged to a man who has raised this kid by himself for the last 6 or so years. He got custody in the divorce because his ex became a crack addict after the kid was born.
I realize that for the last 6 years, he has had ALL of his fathers undivided attention. And now that my daughter and granddaughter have moved in, he no longer gets all the attention. As a result, he has become a BRAT with a capital B. Not only does he whine every single time he is told to do something, he outright defies my daughter when she asks or tells him to do something he knows he is responsible for doing. He takes my graddaughters toys (she is 2 1/2) and when she cries to get them back, he claims she “gave it to him”. He will purposely piss on the toilet seat because he knows it makes my daughter mad (and rightly so, especially since she is pregnant). Not only that, but when he takes a crap, he wipes his butt two or three times and flushes the toilet. Then he finishes wiping he butt and throws that in the waste basket rather than the toilet. He is disgusting. He pitches a fit when he has to take a shower or brush his teeth. He lies about having changed his underwear and socks. This is only really the tip of the iceberg. His dad NEVER had a bit of these problems until he met my daughter and they moved in together.
For whatever it’s worth, this kid was diagnosed with ADHD 3 or 4 years ago. Personally, I question the diagnosis because so many of the symptoms just aren’t there.
Incidentally, this kid can turn this behavior on and off like a light switch. About 3 months ago, he was acting up, to the point of almost causing my daughter and his dad to split up. His dad threatened to send him to live with his mother, something he does NOT want to do under any circumstances. He immediately straightened up his act and was a completely different child for over a week.
Taking away privileges and things like grounding have no effect at all. They realize that 8 year olds aren’t perfect by any stretch, but they would really like the kid to be closer to “normal”. The question is, how do they get him to straighten up his act?