Laptop, phone, passport, all necessary meds, a hat, a cat, a sax, a jacket and some wicking t shirts.
Who are you, Dr. Seuss? 
In fifteen minutes I am,
intending to be on the lam.
Therefore, whilst I still can,
I will pack my green eggs and ham!
Tripler
Must. . . obey . . . primate. . . overlords . . . who. . . like . . . rhymes. . .
The birds, Casey and Kasem, would immediately be set free. The inside fish would go in the outside pond. Passport and green card in pocket I’d be out the back door with young Tulip heading for the woods. No big freaky monster would separate me from the dog, not even if she was named Katrina.
The books, records, and photos would be missed and all the plants would be a loss, but the dog does not get left behind.
A change of clothes and my daughter’s artwork. Computers and shit can be replaced.
OKAY FINE. Glasses on my face and a couple of extra photos in the suitcase.
(I am so not buying you a drink if we meet anymore.)
I had a colleague during the war in Kosovo who had almost exactly this scenario happen to him. Serb Chetniks came to his house and said he had 15 minutes to leave and then they were going to kill his entire family. He started dithering with wedding albums and his wife smacked it out of his hand and said: “children, money, medicine, food, water, let’s go.” And that’s what they did.
I used to live in different hotspots, I always kept a jump bag with water, money, a couple days’ worth of food, extra underwear and socks and bandanas (bandanas are very useful) near the door.
I’m hoping Purgatory Man gets his own suitcase, because he won’t fit in mine. Mine’s big enough to hold my 3 smallest dogs, a sketch pad and pens, my laptop, and Diablo 2 with Lord of Destruction. That should be enough to keep me occupied in Canadia.
Purely hypothetical, though. They’ll have to chop me into tiny pieces to get me off of my few acres of paradise.
I take it the pets are toast then? I have a budgie I’d like to take, but his cage won’t fit in a suitcase.
OK then:
Hard drives out of my desktop computer.
Passport and maybe some other documentation like that.
Teddy bear (the one I had when I was a baby).
Wallet, mobile phone
That’s about it, I guess.
I’m assuming the husband and I each get a suitcase? 'Cause there’s no way you’re separating me from HIM. And I have no idea where we’re going…So.
jeans
t-shirts
jackets
sturdy shoes
flipflops
underwear
socks
soap
toothpaste
toothbrushes
comb
deodorant (can’t do without it!)
meds including prescriptions, ibuprofen, antibiotic ointment and bandaids
laptop/pda/camera/mp3 player/external harddrive
cell phones in case they work where we’re going
guns and ammo
multitools and knives
fishing equipment (some of it can be quite compact)
wedding album
important papers (in a safe where they can be found easily)
the contents of my purse
That oughta do it. And the cats and dog are coming TOO, no matter how it has to be accomplished–the cats can be tied up in pillow-cases and slung over shoulders if they have to be, and the dog walks well on a leash. We can hunt for food for them if we have to.
How should I know? You pick your own destination city. It just has to be outside the national boundaries of wherever you live, on account of you being exiled and all.
Don’t be silly. in the first place, FC can’t steal ANYTHING; he’s the absolute tyrant of land and his word his law, thus he owns everything anyway, and if he wants to do anything, it is by definition legal. Second, he obviously already knows where you live, since he had the monkeys escort you there, so if there was anything in your domicile that he wanted, he’d already have it.
[professor kirke]
What do they teach in these schools?
[/professor kirke]
:: sobbing inside, keeping manly reserve outside::
But…but I was just giving you GOOD ADVICE. I mean, if [del]yours truly [/del] Fabulous Creature or some other right bastard does put you in that situation, I just saved you from a possible pair of broken spectacles!
Man, you try to give somebody some helpful advice and next thing you know they’re taking away the booze. Ah well. I’ll just meteor-bomb Finland. That’ll make me feel better.
In a high school “save one item from your burning house” ice-breaker discussion, we were told that “things with legs” could get themselves out of the house. Thus family members would save themselves, pet cats and dogs would save themselves, but fish would probably not.
Various classmates decided that tables, chairs, beds, and someone’s drum set would all exit the house of their own accords.
In this instance, I’d probably grab my Africa picture album, my bug jar wall quilt, a pillow case embroidered by my grandma, and my mostly complete counted cross stitch project–and maybe my knitting.
I would the load the rest of the suitcase with as much practical stuff as I could manage.
In that case, I have a couple of nice bottles of wine that will be waiting for me outside with the cats, the guinea pigs, the chinchillas, and the boyfriend. Suddenly evacuating seems like it might be kinda fun!
Could a Roomba evacuate itself? No legs, but pretty handy wheels…just hope there are no steps in the way, I guess.
As much of my portfolio as I can shove in- 2 or three copies each of the my little books (that I wrote/drew/printed myself), a proof or two of whatever etchings I can grab (giving priority to ones that nobody I know have copies of) and my 3 best filled up sketchbooks.
[the rest I would shove out the window to blow away, and hope that some would drift to people who might take care of them]
I’d let that fill up half the suitcase, along with my current sketchbook and a random handful of pencils, pens and watercolors/brushes.
In the other half:
any papers that might help- passport, birth certificate, bank info.
a handful of photos off the fridge
a box of strike-anywhere matches (in a ziploc)
the rest of the ziploc bags (you never know!)
2 1-liter bottles of water
Almost-full roll of super-strong Duct tape
2 pairs of wool socks
4 pairs underwear
1 bra
2 big cotton tshirts
my lightweight wool pants
the multitool my sister gave me for my graduation present
bottle of lotion
hairbrush
whatever pills I have in my cabinet
a book if I have room- maybe A Tree Grows in Brooklyn for comfort value
In that top outer pocket would go whatever portable, high-protein food is in the cupboards and the 3 chocolate bars that are in there too
I’d also roll up my big wool blanket and tie it to the retractable handle of the suitcase. I do that when I travel with coats and such so I can’t imagine that such a handsome and reasonable dictator would take issue…
I’d throw on my sturdiest jeans with a pair of leggings under them, 2 pairs of socks, my good sneakers, 2 undershirts, a flannel shirt and 2 wool sweaters (one light and one heavy), my bulky coat and both of my big warm scarves. Any cash/credit cards/IDs will be shoved in my pockets. then I’d carry the cat downstairs and deliver her into the totally trustworthy care of FC’s minions. I’ll miss her, but I’m not going to waste space packing the bandages and ointments that I’ll need to ease the bleeding if I try to get her to come with me any distance, and I don’t think she’ll care.
This is actually not all that different from what I bring with me if I’m going to my Mom’s house for the weekend, since I’m paranoid about getting trapped in an airport or somesuch and I usually bring art with me to give to her. If it’s warm out, I’ll strip off the outer layers when I get out of sight of the minions and tie them to the outside of the suitcase.
This list is pretty evenly divided between surviving the trip and starting over when I get up there- not much for nostalgia. I love my stuff, much of it irreplaceable (antiques, out of print books etc.) but I know my loved ones would rather that I survive the next few years, versus giving suitcase space to souvenirs.
Hmmph.
Spare Toronto and I’ll put the booze back and throw in a couple of extra drunken snogs.
Deal.
Um…did they move Toronto to Finland without telling me? If so, why?
I mean, spare Toronto when you go on your rampage in 60 minute’s time. Finland’s already toast.
People, people.
Your country no longer exists. Why are you taking your tax records?
Clearly, what’s needed in the suitcase is all the precious metal and gems you’ve been hoarding under the floorboards for just such an occasion (since your local currency isn’t good any more, either).
Cat goes into the cat backpack. It would probably take me 14 minutes to get him in there.
We keep a to go bag that has (is supposed to have, I probably don’t check it often enough) cat food, emergency cash, 2 pair underwear per person (none for cat), 2 pair socks per person, 1 sweatshirt per person, 1 tee shirt per person, 1 toothbrush per person, 1 toothpaste (shared) and some crap like granola bars.
I would also take the contents of the fire safe, which is the usual stuff like passports and birth certificates and some financial documents. I’m not sure if the financial documents would still be useful post-purge, but it would be easier to grab all the contents than to try to sort them out.
Do I have to go to the airport? Depending where we are when all this happens, I can see another country from my front yard (if the weather is clear).
Oh! I had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN that I was supposed to be unleashing throngs of giant radioactive parakeets on Toronto. I’ll get right on that?
It’s not really clear to me why you reminded me. But thanks! Now stay inside for um, about 90 minutes, honey.
That’s prolly between you and the monkeys. But I know that sick bastard FC, and I expect the conversation would go like this:
delphica: Do I have to go to the airport?
lead monkey: Our orders are to either put you in a first-class seat on the next flight the country of your choice, or to rip out your entrails and make you watch as we eat them.
delphica: Oh. To the airport, then.
By the way, I’d say The Lovely Margo Lane wins the thread, with an honorable mention to Cerowyn.
Sturdy shoes, hopefully comfortable.
3 pairs of underwear and socks for myself and each of the three boys.
1 king size blanket
birth certificates, vaccination records
2-3 books that all of us can enjoy
only necessary toiletries
external drives
a medium pot
a good knife, maybe the swiss army
a rope
a lighter
the jewelry (for trade or sale)
big bag o’ rice