A question about using a restroom at a restaurant

A few days ago three of my children and I were having dinner at a small, independent restaurant located a few miles north of Springfield, Ohio. It was not busy; I think there was only one other customer.

After dinner I needed to use the restroom. I went to the men’s restroom but the door was locked (and thus assumed to be occupied).

After returning to our table I said, “It’s fine… it’s not an emergency and I’ll wait until it’s unoccupied.” My 20 year old daughter said, “Why not use the women’s restroom? I can see from here that it is unoccupied.” The conversation then proceeded like this:

Me: “Huh? I’m not going to do that! :dubious:”

Daughter: “Why not?”

Me: “I’m just not, that’s why.”

Daughter: “Why not?”

At that people I didn’t really know what to say. Perhaps she had a point, I dunno. A couple minutes later the men’s restroom was unoccupied and I used it.

So was my daughter correct? Or was I correct?

Oh, and I should mention the men’s restroom has one urinal, one toilet, and one sink. I (obviously) don’t know the layout of the women’s restroom, but I would assume it has one toilet and one sink.

If you have to go, you have to go. (?)

This study claims that all that segregating the johns by sex accomplishes is to increase the average waiting time.

I feel like if a place has single-person restrooms, they should all just be unisex.

I would have just used the women’s room.

That said, this scenario is usually the other way around. I fairly routinely see females using the men’s room because the women’s room is mobbed.

Peripherally relevant story: I was recently in a restaurant with a single large unisex restroom. It had two opposing doors that looked like they led to separate restrooms but they both led to the same room. It looked like there may have been a wall separating them at some point, as the two sides of the restroom were mirror images with stalls along the “far” walls and a bank of sinks in the center. Initially it appeared to be separate, but then I realized the sections at the end of the sink wall were not mirrors and you could walk through. All stalls, no urinals. As far as I could tell, no one had a problem.

Much like the concept of gender-neutral clothing, they all are if you’re not a wuss.

I had a similar experience to Crafter_Man a few years ago at a gas station. Someone was having a very bad time in the single-occupant ‘mens’ room. Another guy was waiting to use it when I arrived. When a woman emerged from the single-occupant ‘womens’ room, I said to the first person, you should use that one. He looked startled, then said I didn’t think about that and went in. After he left, I used it while the poor fellow in the ‘mens’ room continued his tribulations. The world didn’t end.

I think many of us, myself included, are just socially conditioned to think of the opposite-sex restroom as Forbidden Territory.

I’m still shocked how many people refuse to use a handicap stall, thinking it’s a Federal law to do so if you’re not handicapped.

Well, I’m not sure I want to disabuse people of the silly misconception that you shouldn’t use it unless you have a disability, because it often stays cleaner.

I’ve never used a woman’s restroom and have been conditioned not to do so. I would prefer single-person restrooms to be unisex (heck, make all restrooms unisex), but I’m reasonably certain somebody would say something if they saw me using a woman’s restroom around here. I’ve seen women use men’s restrooms, but never the other way around.

A good point.

BTW, is “Handicapped stall” not PC now? Has a better phrase come into usage?

You’re both right. I would never, ever, absolutely under no circumstances use the women’s room in that situation unless pee was literally dripping down my leg or I was about to die of uromysotisis. And my reasons for not wanting to use the women’s room are entirely nonsensical. The logical side of my brain agrees with your daughter, but the side of my brain that has been bludgeoned into submission by irrational social conditioning rules the day.

I’m glad most places are going to the ‘Whatever’ label on the bathroom.

I’m male and I’ve used the women’s bathroom plenty of times although I might not if I was in some small town.

Last time I was in the women’s restroom was in the 10th grade and almost got caught smoking weed in there with some girls. A teacher walked in looking for a student who luckily flushed her cigarette and popped out of a different stall and went off with the teacher who was saying something about knowing she must have been smoking in there. Highlight of my life up to that point.

At the gym I use there were two restrooms on the second floor next to the track & yoga room, labeled Men and Women. Both were single-stall and identical (no urinal). The women used either one interchangeably as there were usually more women in that area than men. The men mostly paid no attention. Then one day a man saw a woman come out of the men’s room and PITCHED A FIT. Told her she had to stay out of the men’s room, use her own, etc. ?? He went on and on about it. Made us all wonder if he and his wife used separate bathrooms at home. Then it happened again and he did it AGAIN. This time the woman went down to the front desk and complained. I don’t know exactly what occurred as I was not present, but the guy was never seen by anyone again and the next day there was a sign saying “all bathrooms on this floor are unisex”, and the day after that the men and women signs were changed for signs saying “Unisex”. Imagine that, someone in management showing some sense! Yay!

I once went into the men’s restroom when I had to go very urgently. The stalls had no doors. And then a guy came in there.

I didn’t have to go so urgently anymore.

I used a handicap stall once in Japan. All the other stalls were squat type. There were also urinals. I suppose that in Japanese terms I was handicapped since I certainly could not squat and shit.

I usually don’t use them because I’m not (usually) having an emergency and I want it to remain available for anyone handicapped who comes in.

But if I’m desperate I’m going for it.

I change in the handicapped stall at work every week. It’s larger, and easier to change in.

No one on the floor needs that stall, and few people are around by the time I use it, and there are other handicapped stalls on every other floor. Why not?

Coincidentally, u was at the supermarket yesterday and needed to use a restroom. I intervened that the women’s room was occupied, so i prepared to wait. A nearby employee banned on the door of the men’s room, and learned it was occupied, too.

A little later, a guy walked out of the single-use lady’s room. He held the door for me, I said “thanks”, and I used it. Maybe we’ll get unisex signs soon.

Well, courtesy dictates that you shouldn’t use it if other stalls are available; and you shouldn’t sit in there for half an hour reading a newspaper, since that’s the only stall some people can use. But if it’s the only one available, you should surely use it. It’s not like a parking spot. Why is someone in a wheelchair less able to wait?

Handicrapper.

Something that I have been noticing here in Southern California is the conversion of the Men’s room into a unisex one and keeping the women’s restroom. I have seen this in small restaurants where the men’s bathroom only had one stall and a urinal and the women’s presumably had two stalls. Kinda sucks for the men if someone is using the unisex one to poop.