A rant about EverQuest. [long]

I just quit this mindbogglingly stupid game, after having played for 3 years, been a Customer Service Guide THREE times, and seeing just about everything there is to see. Let’s talk about it.

FIRSTUS, there’s the people. You think you’ve seen idiots, lamers, spammers, message board junkies, script kiddies? Unless you’ve played this online moronfest, you have NOT. You’ve got a bunch of little kids running around in High Elf costumes casting spells and saying such classic lines as, “d00d that wuz my orc u fuking killed now im gonna kill j00!!!” To get AWAY from these idiots you have to pay $40 a month to play on their Legends server, where they offer improved customer support and tons of people who can afford the server! So instead of the kids, you get the geeks. Let’s talk about them, hoo hoo, ha ha!!!

These people are in some ways just as bad. They will have COUNTLESS arguments about game history, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, anything else their geeky little minds can imagine, and they talk and talk and talk! And then the High Geeks (erudites?) come into play, and they start dominating, and telling everyone to shut up, because EVERYONE should know that CAZIC THULE is the god of fear. WHO CARES??! Why are you filling your VERY limited brain capacity with this shit?

Alright, let’s talk customer service. For giving up 6 hours a week to be a customer service rep in the game, you get free EQ! NOT WORTH IT. There’s so much garbage that you can’t even deal with it. I don’t care if you’re the mother of 5 kids, stable, great job, supporting family, and a perfect head on your shoulders, you WILL GO APESHIT. “He hit me!” “He took over the orc camp!” “They stole my Emporer Crush kill!” “I’ve been played for 17 hours straight and the gnome with the rock hasn’t popped yet!”

How the HELL do you play a game for that long? I know people on there that have been on for 40 hours, 50, and the record I know of, 73 hours.

Marriages END because of this game. Jobs are LOST, people are cast out of society, but that’s okay, because you see…they are now part of a rich online fantasy world, where people care about them, and will nurture them, and…awwwww, isn’t that sweet. I remember when I was a guide, another guide was told by a customer that they wanted to kill themself, so she found his personal info and called 911 for him! Kudos to her, but shit, what a pathetic life for HIM!

Now let’s talk about game play.

Here’s a game where you go through this humongous world…but it’s divided into things like zones. And everytime you try to go to another area, it sits there FOR FREAKING EVER saying, “LOADING, PLEASE WAIT.” EVERY TIME. You’d think it’d get better after you’ve been everywhere, but no! Everytime you zone, die, anything, LOADING, PLEASE WAIT.

The AI in the game sucks, things will come out of nowhere and kill you, teleport you to them, throw shit at you, what the hell ever. From level one you learn to be shit on by the game. And it doesn’t get better with time, oh no. I’ve seen cases where a high level character will die and take DAYS to get back to the point he was at before death. You’ll lose levels! You die, and not only do you have to go through LOADING PLEASE WAIT, but you have to go through the mindless tedium of getting all that lost time back! By the end of it, people have these ultra high level characters and boast, “And I only spent 5/6ths of my life on it! HA!”

Then, when they have that high level character they’ve always dreamed of, they create lower level characters called twinks, which they buff up to be something uber-special. THEN, the normal low level “newbs” have a hard time because of these high level cheaters, and the cycle continues. SHIT ROLLETH DOWNHILL IN THE GAME OF EQ.

My advice?

QUIT. Don’t think about it. Log in, give away all your stuff. Make some of the lost souls that will never quit happy. Then DELETE the character, and CANCEL the account. THEN, wipe the program off your hard disk, empty the recycle bin, shut down for 3 days and 3 nights, then FORMAT your machine, install the OS2 WARP OS, reformat, fdisk, fill the disk with 0s, replace your CPU, get a new HD, all new RAM, and reinstall whatever OS you were using before. And please, for the love of God, do NOT reinstall this god damned game.


  • Steve

For someone who hates the game so much, three years sure sounds like a long time to play.


(oh, and I’ve never played)

It took 3 years to build up the RAW HATRED.

I give this rant a 3.
seriously after three years of eq thats the best you can do?

no mention of new content being constantly added while problems that have existed from day one are still in game.

no mention of how vi punishes players for “exploits” when a bug works for the player but its “working as intended” when it screws the players.

nothing at all?
you shoulda switched to pvp along time ago. then its not a game of stupid broken quests and eternity spent grinding. its a slugfest of mayhem and maddness. oh yeah and its hard to give a crap about the cs staff on pvp servers. I once had to tell a guide to shut the fuck up and get my body out of the wall NOW please when they wanted to discuss the hows and whys of my bod being in the wall.
ah yeah crack, such a wonderful addiction.

heh heh NOOB :stuck_out_tongue:


The original EQ ex-guide ranter. Now a rep for Mythic. :slight_smile:

lovelee beat me to it. Regular SDMB pitizens will love the Tweety Rants. An exhilerating blend of intelligence, common sense, vitriol and profanity.

“Try being a Guide, You Nutless Assmuncher” is her most famous, but “Run” (under November 2000) is one of my favorites. “Run” explains a lot of the frustration that grows as people level in EQ, and I regard it as a cautionary tale.

So, SteveK42, guess you won’t be on joining our guild Druzzil Ro server.


Granted, after a year or so I’ll probably get tired of playing it and move on… but for now it’s a hell of a lot of fun!

I’ve never played EverQuest; don’t really know how it works. I did once try a MUD, run by a friend. The idea sounded intriguing until I found that it basically meant being immersed in other people’s bad fantasy writing. I decided I’d rather spend my time working on my own bad writing.

hehe EQ…

Its like mudding, only slower, more expensive, bug filled and with a LOT more assholes.

0VVn3|) !!!

Beware the wife stealers of Wisconsin! Several months ago a friend of my wife lost his wife and kids when she left him for some guy in Wisconsin she met playing EverQuest. Then, just this week, another friend of hers left her husband for some guy in Wisconsin she met playing EverQuest (though this one claims she is only going for a couple of weeks, she told another friend that she wants to marry this guy). What the hell is going on here??? I’m damn glad my wife doesn’t play any MMORPGs anymore!

Go get Dark Age of Camelot, it’s far superior in every way. :smiley:

Yeah, join the rest of us losers playing DAoC! :wink:

I actually came over from AC so I have no idea how bad EQ is, thank goodness.

Tastes differ, apparently. I tried both, and I couldn’t believe how bad Dark Age of Camelot was and how much better EQ was. So now I play EQ.

Can’t wait for the Star Wars game.

I played AC for a while, EQ for far too long, and now I’m struggling to refrain from playing anything until I have the choice of Star Wars or Worlds of Warcraft.

u hav gm rez 4 me plz k thx la~