I would have to open it. I’d try to do it myself first, but woudln’t last long. Curiosity killed the 'Celt.
Been there, done that. Still easy. The harder part is not to crack the plaster when you’re cutting the hole to begin with.
Make sure to take pictures of the mummified remains and post links here later.
I’m half expecting Donald Eugene Ivens to be buried in Shagnasty’s wall, with all the paperwork proving his existence (other than his wallet) in the safe. The only question left is why?
You gotta know what’s in the safe. Stuff happens.
When I moved into a townhouse in Herndon, VA I found a large lock box (not a safe), in a tiny room under the stairs. No one had pointed out the space when I bought the place and we lived there about a month before I found it.
It has dozens of 9 track tape reels marked SECRET!!!
Luckily I had a clearance and had contacts with the FBI so I turned them in. They were classified maps of govt installations and the last owner had left the country for Russia and had never returned.
After this you had damn well believe I’m opening that safe.
I talked to the neighbors and they said he was a strange old guy that spent all his time on his radios!!
Shagnasty, maybe they moved the headstones, but they never moved the bodies!
Yeah, I couldn’t resist. My dad’s old office building had a floor safe that was from the previous owner. I spent hours on the floor trying to break in. Turned out it was empty when I finally got it open, but it was worth it!
There might be Nazi gold in it. Open it for sure.
Jesus Christ, Shagnasty, for the love of fuck rip open that wall and let us know what’s inside. I don’t think I can wait another day, so you’re going to have to do it tonight. I’ll be refreshing this thread every half hour, so please hurry.
Did you notice where Shagnasty said that the house is occupied by his ex-wife, not him? My guess is that he can’t just go in and start tearing down walls.
golf-claps politely Excellent work sir!
Okay, that might just be the best username/post combo ever.
When my parents bought the house I grew up in, they discovered a secret room–sort of a side attic. What did they find in it? Fancy evening gowns! The house had originally been owned by a movie actress in the '20s and they apparently had belonged to her. So my folks put a regular door on the secret room and we used it for storage, but we always called it “the secret room.” They also kept the evening gowns, which got tons of use as Halloween costumes.
It was cool to live in a house with a secret room.
Oh, and I’d totally have to open the safe.
I wouldn’t tear down walls in any case because they are obviously extremely old and untouched for generations but I still own the house. The only reason I never did was because I believe in historic preservation at all costs. There is a way to pry up the floorboards from the closet above it that is minimally invasive but I have never gotten up the nerve to do that either. I have studied this problem at length even consulting an expert on those types of houses on it. He agrees that it is odd that there is such a big space there for no reason and it wasn’t built that way in 1760 although it has been that way for at least 150 years.
There is such a thing as hidden treasure in walls. A small antebellum church near my hometown in Louisiana went through a renovation and they hit through a hidden space on a wall only to find a huge treasure trove of Confederate arms and artifacts sealed over inside of it from the Civil War. It was a cool news story. I would love to find some Revolutionary War era arms in that wall but you do have a point in that my ex-wife would get pissed if I started taking things out of the closet and pulling up square nails to see what is there. Not all people see the mystery the same way in these types of things.
Thank you. I actually must’ve said that subconsciously, otherwise I would have said it was a perfect Leprechaun or Chucky door. He’d still have to figure out a way to levitate, though.
I am wondering if there is any way for Shagnasty to X-ray or sonar the room or something.
Shagnasty has been talking about his empty space since at least 2007.
He has dealt with numerous ideas and requests for resolution with excuses and predictions of Revolutionary War era antiques. And now he doesn’t even live there. It’s not going to happen.
It’s the Shagnasty MacGuffin.
Shag, if you’re not interested in resolving the mystery, stop talking about it…because it’s just looking like an epic troll.
No, no. An epic troll is what you find in the walls when you buy a house previously owned by a Norwegian black metal band.
Well, I’m a Gaiman fan, so I have wolves in MY walls.
/or quite possibly an elephant
[SPOILER]THE thousand injuries of Fortunato I had borne as I best could, but when he ventured upon insult, I vowed revenge. You, who so well know the nature of my soul, will not suppose, however, that I gave utterance to a threat. AT LENGTH I would be avenged; this was a point definitively settled – but the very definitiveness with which it was resolved precluded the idea of risk. I must not only punish, but punish with impunity. A wrong is unredressed when retribution overtakes its redresser. It is equally unredressed when the avenger fails to make himself felt as such to him who has done the wrong.
…
“How?” said he, “Amontillado? A pipe? Impossible ? And in the middle of the carnival?”
“I have my doubts,” I replied; “and I was silly enough to pay the full Amontillado price without consulting you in the matter. You were not to be found, and I was fearful of losing a bargain.”
[/SPOILER]
Curse you septimus, I was going to post about Fortunato!
I bet if you open the safe there’s a smaller safe inside.
Same here.
Shag - Is it possible you’ve got an underground railroad stop there? That would be so amazing. . . We found one in the older part of a local church when I was in high school. I still get chills just thinking about it. Have you actually tried lifting the floorboards? They may come up rather easily. That was my first thought.
I once managed a retail store for a guy. The chain went out of business, and the owner gathered up the safes. He could not get into one of them, but the last deposit was still inside. (typically = $2k or so).
Flash forward 10 years. I bump into him walking down the street in another city. He realizes I was the manager of said safe. I was actually able to remember the combination, but I hadn’t thought of it in all that time.
He got inside and got the cash. 
I should have asked for a spiff!