A sonnet about my new office chair

Rick Sonnet 1:

Today I acquired a new office chair
It has armrests and is sort of a purply-blue
I went to the supply room and it was sitting there
As if it was saying “I’m the chair for you.”
My old office chair was a bluish gray
And its back was very small and short
It seat was starting to slope and give way
And it offered me no lumbar support.
I sat in my new chair and gave a great cry,
“This chair’s so comfy! My back feels great!”
I settle into it with a satisfied sigh,
My only objection being, 'twas a year too late.
When, my friends, you have a boring job like me,
You have to rejoice in every small victory.

This Is Just To Say

I have taken
the chair
that was in
the supply room

and which
you were probably
for yourself

Forgive me
it is so supportive
so stylish
and so comfortable

You have two arm rests?
And all the wheels are working?
You lucky bastard

– Office chair haiku

You have taken
the chair
that was in
the supply room

that I was
for myself

I forgive you.
Your lunch was tasty
so cheap and
so convenient

Frustrations occur in the workplace, I’m sure
When it comes to finding a chair.
Most searches fail; we could all tell tales
Of uncomfortable seating there.
The fluorescent lights have seen many sights
But the happiest they ever did see
Was when in receipt of his new purply-blue seat,
RickJay savoured his small victory.

(With apologies to Robert Service.)

i have a new office chair
ordered specially for
it truly is
it hs five wheels and i can spin
round and round and
round and round and
round and round until i am
dizzy or the boss walks
i can move from my desk
to the postage
meter without
standing up thank goodness
i can reach the supply cabinet without
getting off my butt
my office chair is
so comfortable
it is brand new (burgundy with
little flecks of silver gray) and
it has two armrests
which i accidentally put on
backwards but
this way i can tell when someone
borrows my chair no its mine
give it back to
and i like it except
that it has no brakes and i move too
quickly and when i zip back and forth
sometimes i
run off the carpet protector and
smack into the cabinets ow

a)s w(e loo)k
elS a
rIvInG .ecirahcioff)

(cummings is rolling around in his grave right about now… and the formatting is lost upon preview!)

I work for an office furniture company. No fooling.

Try using the “code” tags, like I did above. It retains spacing, which makes posting code or nonstandard poetry much easier.

Success is counted seated
By those who ne’er sit.
To comprehend a nice chair
Requires sorest feet.

Not one of all maint’nance staff
Who took the trash today
Can tell the definition
So clear of cubicle.

As he not seated – walking –
For whose hard-working rear
The cushioned asses typing
Move not as he comes near!

There was a young man named RickJay
Who found a new chair one day
Excited by his gain
He didn’t notice the stain
Left from two coworkers’ roll in the hay!

How doth the little office chair
Improve my cramping ass!
And makes the time I must spend there
More swiftly seem to pass!

My office chair, it is so dear,
So very dear to me!
It fills my bottom with such cheer,
It’s smiling vertically!

Two office chairs in a dreary supply room placed,
And sorry I could not sit in both
And be one corporate drone, long I cased
And looked over one that suited my taste
From where it hulked in the overgrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was classy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the slacking there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
Amongst supplies no worker had bothered to steal.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
Someone else would grab it to add personal appeal.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two chairs placed in a supply room, and I–
I took the one less sat on by,
And that has made all the difference.

With apologies to Robert Frost.

I returned, and saw under the sun, that the best chair is not to the swift, nor the working coffeemaker to the strong, neither yet long lunch breaks to the wise, nor yet a fat pay cheque to men of understanding, nor yet paid holidays to men of skill; but time and chance and bad poetry happeneth to them all.

:smiley: :cool: ;j

So much depends upon
      a comfy office chair
   in a tiny cubicle

[sub]Sorry W.C.W. I’ll never do it again… :D[/sub]


See my brand new office chair,
Purple chair!
What a world of sitting-comfort truly now awaits me there!
How it twirls about unhindered,
In a kind of spinning dance!
While the lights flourescent flicker
All the heavens seem to flicker,
In a strange religious trance!
Spinning round round round,
Hardly staying on the ground,
So that dizzily I name myself an office millionaire!
In my chair, chair, chair, chair,
Chair, chair, chair –
In my purple-whirling twirling office chair!

I’m aware
That some stare
At my chair.
In fact, to be fair,
Some really despair
Of my chair.
But I don’t care.
For they’re not aware
Nor are they debonair.
They see my new chair.
Say “beware,”
And go off on a tear.
I say “No Fair.”
A cube with no chair
Is really nowhere.
So sit my chair.
Sit over there.
Or over there.
Or over there
If you dare.
My wife bought a chair
At an antique fair
To use as a share.
Did I care?
Au contraire.
A spare
Is fair.
In fact, a chair
Can be rare.
One from Dumas pere
Or le roi de le mer.
And where is the chair
From Martin Guerre.
No where
Mon frere.
Now that I’ve shared
This affair
Of the chair.
I think I’ll repair
To my lair
And eat a pear
And a chocolate eclair.
Do you care?