A Stupid Question about Blind People and Sexuality

Here’s the stupidest question to come along in a while:

How do blind adolescents know whether or not they’re gay/straight? What romantically or sexually attracts a blind person to another person (smell, tone, voice)? I truly don’t mean these questions offensively, but I’m actually curious, since sight is probably the most important initial sense in gauging sexual attraction in most people.

I don’t think that is a stupid question at all. I do not know the answer and I am just as curious as you are. Good question!

Well I knew a guy in high school that had been blind since he was a toddler and he was very stimulated by smell, the sound of a voice and (as in the case with seeing people) if someone is nice to them, intelectually stimulating etc… He also had a habit of playing with girls’ hair or touching their arm or shoulder as he walked (probably less to do with being led then taking a cheap crack at touching chicks by free will if I know this guy well…) But I don’t know if that is true of blind people as a whole or only a guy named Jimmy I knew in school.

For sighted people, sight is the initial sense by which we observe a sexually attractive person because it is usually the sense with which we first perceive them. We see them before we hear them, we hear them before we smell them, we smell them before we touch them, we touch them before we taste them. (OK, we generally don’t get a lot of touching, or any tasting, until we have already determined that they are sexually attractive.)

Blind people just move straight to step two.

Maybe while someone’s answering this, they can also tell me how they ummm…err…wipe.

I’ve always wondered that. Never got a solid answer.

As in the OP, I mean no offense, it’s just that I can’t imagine having to do that blind.

Sorry for the hijack.

A couple of blind guys I’ve known had an extra-sensory filter which took the place of sight in these cases. This was most commonly manifested by a whispered “don’t worry dude, she’s a babe”.

One blind guy commented to me that he didn’t care what his date looked like, but he cared what other people thought about her. That is, he wanted to date visually attractive women because of the status that provided with other males. Of course, wanting a “trophy date” is common among the sighted and there’s no reason a blind person would feel differently.

As for how these blind guys knew they were straight and not gay, I never thought to ask but I’d guess they know in the same way I know. If you sit and chat with someone for a while, you’re either turned on or not. Sight is only one of many inputs that goes into that decision.

I expect that they instinctively know, just like the rest of us. Smells and sounds are more important in sexual attraction than you think.

Since we’re getting really personal, I’ve also wondered if any sexual positions are more preferable or off-limits, and what they fantasize about when they’re “enjoying themselves”.

I know what you mean - presumably an adolescent blind boy hasn’t had any tactile experience with the opposite sex - so what would he fantasize about, exactly??

Maybe he reads the letters in the Braille editions of Playboy.


I heard more deaf men tend to be gay.

Not that their hearing and deafness are related… but rather, a deaf man experiences less stigma, hears less slander about homosexuality, so they feel “more free” to follow their instints. Unfortunately I haven’t heard any information about deafness and lesbianism. Such a study would help validate this theory.

Have you ever watched Becker? They had an episode along these lines.

The gal Jake was dating was a real looker, but when after a while she really let herself go figuring that if he souldn’t see her, what differnce did it make? Unfortunately, it does matter as it can change ones personality a great degree, not to mention it really bothered other people the way she went about the transformation of caring for herself to not.

Having worked with several blind people, it does come down to other senses - smell, sound, touch… They just aren’t able to judge (immediately) by sight.

Metalhead, are you one of those people who “can’t find their ass in the dark with a flashlight?”


Uh… is your wiping process very visually oriented?

I don’t see why it’d be hard to do blind.

You have to hand it to her…

(ok, I will go hurt myself in the corner now)

How would a blind person know when their backside is clean? Smell it?

I think this may be what //\etalhea|) means. I’m certainly curious.

B.Pants -

Uh… is your wiping process very visually oriented?

How would a blind person know when their backside is clean? Smell it?

I think this may be what //\etalhea|) means. I’m certainly curious.

I’m pretty sure that this is a “tactile” thing for just about everyone regardless of their vision. I’ve certainly never seen anyone examining themselves in the mirror or bending over to get a good sniff in the men’s room.

This is getting a wee bit gross…

…but it’s Friday so let’s just ick it up some more: One of my coworkers lived in Japan for many years and gave a presentation about sumo wrestlers. Apparently one of the tasks of the junior members at a sumo stable is to, er, attend to the nether regions of the more senior members, some of whom are simply too big to reach around and clean themselves.

More anecdotal stuff, but relevant. Some years ago, I did some volunteer work with blind people. It was actually a beep baseball team. We were in a restaraunt ordering food. When the waitress left our table, one of them said to me, “tell me, is she cute?”

A really great movie about this thread came out about 10 or 15 years ago entitled “If you could see what I hear.” Basically all of the humor is based on being blind. It is based on a true story about Tom Sullivan. When he was attending college one night the lights went out and when he hears about he says " let the gropping begin, the blind will lead the blind." He dates a black girl and does not know she is black and when he finds out in bed one night he says " I must be color blind too!!" His roomate tells him that he has his socks on the wrong feet. I have seen the movie about twenty times and the last time was as funny if not funnier than the first. He also really ran the New York marthon and said that he could tell what part of the city he was in by the smell. If your local video store has the movie somewhere you will not be disappointed. The end of the movie is very dramatic and is based also on a true incident.

Now thats impressive! See, psychics DO exist! AND theres a movie about the SDMB! :smiley: