A Stupid Thing in Star Trek That Has Annoyed Me For Years (Add Your Own!)

[carnivorousplant]

@Tuckerfan

The only time you see it hit a human/alien and not surround them is if you’re firing the gizmo on “Stun.”

In the Enterprise series phasers shot holes through guys.

[Terrifel]

I begin to suspect that some posters have not actually been annoyed for years by the things that they are complaining about.

I feel that future threads on this topic should require some form of documentary evidence that each object of criticism has verifiably resulted in years of annoyance to the poster in question. Acceptable evidence might possibly include letters to fanzines, timestamped online forum or chatroom conversations, published fanfiction that attempts to justify the criticism in question, or testimonials from at least three friends and relatives or one certified psychiatric care professional.

[Tuckerfan]

@carnivorousplant

In the Enterprise series phasers shot holes through guys.

[O’Brien from Nineteen Eighty Four] You do not exist. [OfNEF]

And neither does whatever the hell you’re talking about. (Hey, if people can deny the existence of STV, while admitting to STIII, I can deny that piece of crap ever happened.)

[carnivorousplant]

@Tuckerfan

I can deny that piece of crap ever happened.)

It had it’s moments, or rather, it’s episodes. Particularly the last season Vulcan arc. Killing off Trip fellated with great alacrity however, as did the time war.

[Voyager]

@Valteron

Captain Kirk and his international crew use feet, miles per hour, inches etc. I used to think it meant that in the future the United States would not only continue its pigheaded refusal to go metric, but would finally get the rest of the human race to understand that there has to be 5280 feet in a mile, etc.

But then, in TNO, they seem to use metric. A friend of mine said that the hidden message was that it would take another 300 years for the US to accept metric conversion!

The TOS writers’ guide specifically says they are to use metric, but might revert to English when surprised.

[BMalion]

@Terrifel

I begin to suspect that some posters have not actually been annoyed for years by the things that they are complaining about.

I feel that future threads on this topic should require some form of documentary evidence that each object of criticism has verifiably resulted in years of annoyance to the poster in question. Acceptable evidence might possibly include letters to fanzines, timestamped online forum or chatroom conversations, published fanfiction that attempts to justify the criticism in question, or testimonials from at least three friends and relatives or one certified psychiatric care professional.

I’ll just use the reverse-polarity of the main deflector-dish and set up a tachyon pulse to make a counter dimension frequency-shift and get right on it.

[Mister_Rik]

@Voyager

The TOS writers’ guide specifically says they are to use metric, but might revert to English when surprised.

Now I’m trying to think of a situation in which a surprised crew member is going to start shouting measurements.

[ralph124c]

I mean, haven’t dogs evolved?

[Voyager]

@Mister_Rik

Now I’m trying to think of a situation in which a surprised crew member is going to start shouting measurements.

The example given is a surprised crew member saying “It’s a mile wide” about some large ship.

I’d have to rewatch Corbomite Maneuver, which I think has an example of this very thing - and might be the source of the instruction, since it was the first regular episode filmed.

[carnivorousplant]

@ralph124c

I mean, haven’t dogs evolved?

I believe Turnabout Intruder had a poodle in a party hat.

[Nars_Glinley]

@Voyager

The example given is a surprised crew member saying “It’s a mile wide” about some large ship.

I’d have to rewatch Corbomite Maneuver, which I think has an example of this very thing - and might be the source of the instruction, since it was the first regular episode filmed.

KIRK: What’s its mass, Mister Spock?
SPOCK: Reading goes off my scale, Captain. Must be a mile in diameter.

Measuring planets must have been a real bitch.

[Terrifel]

@Mister_Rik

Now I’m trying to think of a situation in which a surprised crew member is going to start shouting measurements.

“Mr. Spock! That… thing must be a foot long!”

“Calm yourself, Nurse Chapel. Please proceed with your examination.”

“But… are those… barbs?!”

[Bill_Door]

@carnivorousplant

“Captain, It’s a rock.”
“Thank you, Number One. Counselor, can you sense anything?”
“Great…hardness…”

Counselor: “It thinks I’m spathic.”

[3waygeek]

@ralph124c

I mean, haven’t dogs evolved?

What do you call Porthos? He’s sure as hell not a targ.

[carnivorousplant]

@3waygeek

What do you call Porthos?

A beagle that Sam Beckett leapt into, however he spells it.
And can’t get out.

[cochrane]

@ralph124c

How come NO dogs on the ENTERPRISE?
I mean, haven’t dogs evolved?

I’m sure that after all the trouble with the tribbles that Kirk enforced a “no pets” policy. Picard, on the other hand, apparently allowed pets. Data had his cat, “Spot.” And there was mention of other pets aboard Enterprise-D, which would only have been natural, given that the families on board would desire them.

[Jolly_Roger]

Families aboard starships always bugged the hell out of me. Even if you could make room for all of those people on a modern day air craft carrier it would be a bad idea. Oh, I forgot…starfleet isn’t military. :rolleyes:

[John_DiFool]

Trying to remember if this has been covered here in this huge thread (I think the general nitpick has a page at TVTropes). A quick search revealed some talk about phasers which nobody keeps on for more than half a second, and that mortar that Kirk used. Anyway…

Anyone else completely underwhelmed by the personal weaponry that Star Trek provides to its valued personnel? I mean when a guy with a Mac10 could likely hose down a room full of redshirts with phasers (ignoring the fact that the redshirts always die anyway), you know that the state-of-the-art has hardly advanced in 300-400 years. We should have, at an absolute minimum:

1. Personal defense shields, mini versions of a starship’s shields

2. “Smart” projectiles, which can zip around corners and behind obstacles to ferret out hidden baddies

3. Decoy projectors (see Arnie in Total Recall) which provide a false target for your enemy. Just one simple application of holo emitters…

4. Truly badass weapons, like a BFG. Talk about hosing down a room…

Yeah yeah, it makes for Bad Television, but every time I see a phaser battle which appears to take its tactics straight out of the Old West, it throws me out of the scene. I guess the writers don’t want to bother with the added hassle of an arms race in personal defense equipment (countermeasure vs. countercountermeasure).

[Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew]

@Terrifel

I begin to suspect that some posters have not actually been annoyed for years by the things that they are complaining about.

I feel that future threads on this topic should require some form of documentary evidence that each object of criticism has verifiably resulted in years of annoyance to the poster in question.

How many years has it been since they aired that TNG episode about the crew de-evolving into animals? I have never stopped being pissed off about that one. Maybe it’s because I was a bio major, while most people complain about the illogical physics of Star Trek, but this was the stupidest…pseudoscience…ever.

The only good thing about it is that Troi really did turn into a newt and get better.

[Elendil_s_Heir]

@John_DiFool

…We should have, at an absolute minimum:

1. Personal defense shields, mini versions of a starship’s shields

2. “Smart” projectiles, which can zip around corners and behind obstacles to ferret out hidden baddies

3. Decoy projectors (see Arnie in Total Recall) which provide a false target for your enemy. Just one simple application of holo emitters…

4. Truly badass weapons, like a BFG. Talk about hosing down a room…

1. The Borg had these. Dunno why Starfleet hasn’t figured out and adapted 'em yet.

2. Better still, there was a DS9 episode featuring a Starfleet sniper rifle, with a scope which could see through solid objects, and a miniaturized transporter which could dematerialize the projectile and send it through walls/bulkheads to hit the target. Pretty cool concept, I thought.

3. The Jem Hadar, footsoldiers of the Dominion, had personal cloaking devices, which I suppose could be adapted to do that. Their starships also had a program for ship-to-ship communications which could provide a false image to an observer (making Capt. Sisko look like an alien merchant trader, for instance).

4. By the time of ST:VGR, the crew had rarely-used phaser compression rifles, but they didn’t seem to be a remarkably better weapon than the ol’ hand phasers.

Biffy, that ST:TNG deevolution episode was “Genesis,” which I see was first broadcast in 1994. If you haven’t gotten over it in 14 years, you probably never will.