I was sitting at home re-reading * The Universe in a Nutshell * by Stephen Hawking last night. My nephew is curious about relativity and string theory so I was brushing up on it so I can explain it to him. Anyway the lady who watches my dogs when my GF and I go away pulls up. I think to myself “This should be good.” She’s more than a little … um shall we say eccentric. Touched if you will. She asks if she can use my computer because hers is down. Sure. About this time I see that she is carrying *A Brief History of Time * by Stephen Hawking. This is unusual as she normally has a book by Dean Koontz, her favorite author, when she comes to take care of the dogs.
“That’s odd. I was just reading one of his other books.” I say
“Oh Stephen Hawking. I had a dream about him last night. That’s why I wanted to use your computer.”
Still a little surprised that she is interested in cosmology I’m thinking she just wants to learn a little more about him. Alas she continues.
“Yeah I had heard of him before but last night I was having an out of body experience and I ran into him. He had designed a robotic suit for himself that allowed him to get around. I asked him that since he was confined to a wheel chair in his physical life that if he traveled out of body often but before he could answer the experience ended. I wanted to find his e-mail and ask him again.”
I say “Oooooookay. You know where it is.” but I’m thinking you want to contact Stephen Hawking and ask him about out of body experiences. Holy s*** she isn’t going to use my e-mail is she? :eek: :eek:
She didn’t. She used hotmail or some other web mail but I bet somebody at Cambridge is going to get a good laugh this morning.
I’m sure he gets looney-mail all the time, and it’s deleted without a second glance. Though sometimes a missive does stand out . . .
Every once in a while, our department gets spammed by this guy who thinks Carl Sagan (OG rest his soul) was a reptilian alien shapeshifter, and we are warned that we should not beleive any of his lies. Never did mention whether he thought Alien Carl Sagan had actually died of cancer, or whether he got beamed up by the Mother Ship.
I happen to have Dean Koontz and Stephen Hawking books on my headboard at the moment.
Koontz is my favorite author, as well (at least for now; we’ll see if this latest one I’m reading follows his new “everything is about God” trend), but I also have a layman’s interest in quantum physics and cosmology. Next to Hawking’s The Universe in a Nutshell is a Clive Cussler book, and next to that is Carl Sagan’s Cosmos. And I’ve never even had an out-of-body experience.
My friend was a PhD student at the Applied Maths and Theoretical Physics dept. at Cambridge, where Stephen Hawking is Lucasian Professor. They got weird shit like that all the time.
You would be amazed how many people have some (to them) profound or significant thought concerning cosmology or the universe and think “I know, I’ll phone up Stephen Hawking”.
I guess I never thought about all the nut jobs out there trying to contact people like Hawking. :smack:
I ran into her again last night at the store. She was all excited because she had gotten a response. Of course it was an automated “your e-mail has been recieved” from a grad student in his office saying that while he gets a huge volume of mail all of it is read. She had printed out and was showing everybody.
Create a fee e-mail account, at one of the various sites that offer them.
Use, or obtain & use, her e-mail.
Send her messages, claiming that you are Hawking. String her along with weird stuff. This accomplishes 4 things:
[ol]
[li]Gets her off Hawking’s back, he & his grads have better things to do.[/li][li]Generates big laffs for you.[/li][li]Hi, Opal. :)[/li][li]Generates big laffs for us.[/li][li]Maybe teaches her a lesson.[/li][/ol]
Holy s*** she isn’t going to use my e-mail is she? :eek: :eek:
