I am in awe! 
[hijack] How is welby wife doing? [hijack]
Gosh Aries, we don’t really point out that we’re hijacking an MMP, but Welbywife is fine, thanks for asking.
The platypi had a tough time finding your place, though. I gave them directions again, so they should be there tonight.
It’s not that I forgot this, it’s just that it deserves a post of its own:
I sprained my ass this morning.
How does one sprain one’s ass?
Or should I not ask…
I sat up waiting for them but gave up around 10:00 and went to bed.
What you don’t know is…my feet aren’t ticklish so your evil plan won’t work anyway…MMMMAAAAAHHHHAAAAA.
And I’m curious as to how one sprains their ass also.
Just be glad it’s not lieu that’s spraining his ass. The horrors!
I butted a few stumps with it back when I was in my 20s but now that I’m older I don’t even have an ass anymore. Just woke up one day and it was gone.
But su befuddlement es mi befuddlement. Just how does one go about spraining their ass?
Unless, of course, he’s referring to a donkey-like ass. In that case,* how does one sprain an ass??* 
One sprains an ass in the shower. At least I do. Basically I started to slip and tried to catch myself with my foot and pulled the muscle that runs right along my ass. So technically, it wasn’t a sprain, it was a pull, but pulling your ass just doesn’t sound right, so I’m saying I’m sprained my ass. Either way, at least I get to be the butt of some jokes.
And FCM, looks like my visit to Jax is going to be canceled.
well, poot.
Do they not allow sprained asses in Florida? That’s a real bummer. I hope there’s someone that can help you haul your ass around for awhile.
Well, welby, if you’ve sprained your ass, then just dig yourself a hole in the ground and jump in it. 'Cuz everyone knows nothing’s better for a sprained butt than an ass hole.
(Ouch )
There, I’ve set you up for a great come back, don’t miss it!
Oh, and Rue, why aren’t you dead?
Hmmm, that could’ve been phrased better …
This dead thing just doesn’t seem to stick to me Ponder. I was dead that one other time, but I got better then too.
This time though, I think it’s safe to credit my good fortune to my faithful doggy, Lucy. She really saved the day on this one.
-Rue. (not dead right now)
Something about a pain in the ass? 
If not I missed it.
I’m glad you’re not dead, Rue - it saves me the hassle of having auditions for a new #1 Special Friend.
Hmmm…hadn’t thought of that. What does #1 special friend involve again? [sub]stropping dagger[/sub]
[sub]Is anyone else reminded of that scene in The Sea Wolf with Humphrey and the cook stropping their knives, or am I the only person here to have read that book?[/sub]
#1 Special Friends share a Special Bond (not to be confused with bondage) and they also share Private Jokes and Special Friend Secrets. There should be a certain amount of gifting also, but it doesn’t always happen that way.
But murder is frowned upon - just so’s ya know.
But what if I could make it look just like an accident?
Now, as for the Special Bond[sup]TM[/sup], Private Jokes[sup]TM[/sup], and Special Friend Secrets[sup]TM[/sup], can I get those at the Dollar Store? Or do I need to send off for them?
[sub]Psssttttt…You all know I’m just joking right? I would never do anything to hurt my pal Rue Even though he’s not my Special Friend, we are Manly-Man Pals[sup]TM[/sup]. (Different secret handshake and stuff from Special Friends.)
I’m just trying to be funny here. Or maybe I’m just trying. You decide.[/sub]
um, I’m not that humor-impaired, Bumb - sheesh!!
Oh I know you aren’t FCM. You are the very soul of wit and good humor (and not the ice cream truck kind).
That remark was for any newbies who haven’t yet gotten used to my sometimes macabre sense of humor.
In other news:
Allow them? They elect 'em to public office!