A Thread NOT For the Easily Creeped Out

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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It all took place a year ago. Maybe you don’t remember.

I was just doing my thing here on the Boards and I ran afoul of Skunk Hat. Do you remember Skunk Hat? He could be surly. I don’t know exactly what I did to get on his bad side, but it must have been something pretty bad. If only I had known… so much grief could have been avoided.

Well, Skunk Hat took to following me around the Boards, correcting my most minor mistakes (what few there were), attacking any position I took, just being my nemesis. Have you ever had a nemesis? It’s not a lot of fun. It’s not as bad as an Arch Enemy (you can tell because “nemesis” isn’t capitalized), but it’s pretty bad. It got so bad I thought about leaving. It was a dark time for your ol’ buddy Rue, let me tell you.

As bad as things were, they unexpectedly took a turn for the worse. Skunk Hat worked himself up into a lather over some frippery and in his excitement really started pounding on his keyboard. When he hit the “return” key that last time, his monitor tumbled off its shelf and smashed onto his hands. It cut off all his fingers! The huge jolt of electricity from the shorting out monitor along with the blood from his severed fingers welded him to his wheelie chair he got from Wal-Mart. The horrors! It was even worse than that. He was down in his Fortress of Solitude Where None May Enter (the basement) during Wheel of Fortune when it happened. No one could distract his mom from Pat Sajak and she didn’t hear his cries for help for half an hour! Then she had to batter down the locked basement door and rush Skunk Hat to the hospital! He was almost dead by that time, what with the loss of blood and the shock welding him to the wheelie chair and all.

The doctors did all they could do, but after all that time there was no saving his fingers. Not having donor fingers on hand (ha!) they tried a Daring Medical Experiment, breaking New Frontiers in Transplant Science. On Skunk Hat’s stumps they grafted on sticks of string cheese! His buttocks flesh was so thoughouly fused to his chair (Good thing that never happens to us, huh?) they were forced to leave him in it. From then on, everywhere he went he went squeesqueesquee because of the cheap castors. That day Skunk Hat died.

Only to be replaced by cheeZdactyl!

If Skunk Hat hated me (unfairly!), cheeZdactyl was consumed by blind loathing and a burning desire for revenge! He tracked me down somehow and was coming for me. squeesqueesquee down the sidewalk from the bus stop. squeesqueesquee to the crosswalk in front of Kroger (that’s a local grocery store, the largest grocery chain in the country now, but maybe you haven’t heard of them). squeesqueesquee down the street to my block. squeesqueesquee down the sidewalk to my house. squeesqueesquee across the street to my door!

Only his blind hatred saved me that day. cheeZdactyl was so intent on his revenge he didn’t look both ways before he crossed the street and was hit by a delivery truck. He died on the street before the ambulance could even arrive. But before he died… before he died he swore he would come get me. He booted up his laptop and his twisted soul sought refuge in the Internet through his wireless connection until he could wreck his vengence!

That was one year ago… today! Good thing I’m not…
squeesqueesquee
Was that…? No, it couldn’t have been. Well, it’s a good thing I’m not in the least…
squeesqueesquee
I know there was something that time!
squeesqueesqueesqueesqueesqueesqueesqueesquee
Ahhhhhhhh! The hand of cheese! THE HAND OF CH

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AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!

Bravo!!!

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Behold the Power of Cheese.

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Rue has finally done it. A cheesy MMP. HAH! I slay me.

I had shredded cheese this weekend. I made taco soup. It’s soup with taco spices, tomatoes, beans and ground beef in it. It’s good. You top it with all kinds of stuff, if you want. I used shredded cheese, taco chips, green and black olives, jalapeno peppers and sour cream as toppings. Some friends came over to eat taco soup. They pick and chose from the aforementioned topics as they were wont to top their taco soup. Then we played Monopoly. I won.

I also helped a friend clean up his yard on Saturday. The soup cooked in my big crock pot while I was doing that. We spent six hours digging up stuff, pulling up stuff with my truck (attach a rope to the hitch then wrap the rope around what ya want to pull up, rev up the truck, go forward and up stuff comes), trimming up stuff and hacking stuff down with a chain saw. His yard was a mess but now it’s all nice. I helped cause last weekend he helped me clean and put up all the pool stuff. I’m nice like that. Returning favors and all. Two other friends came over and helped too. Well, one came over for the purpose of helping. The other was driving by and stopped so we drafted him to help. They got taco soup and Monopoly that night so they got something out of it.

I think I have a nemesis. At least this person doesn’t like me. Which is ok cause I don’t like him either. What he doesn’t like is the fact that other people get invited over to my house for stuff like taco soup and Monopoly but he doesn’t get invited. So he tells people what a terrible, awful, mean person I am cause he never gets invites. Ya know I am not in the habit of inviting people I don’t like over to my house. That’s the kind of people who might steal my stuff. I hope that doesn’t open us to dredging up last week’s absolute lack of morals MMP.

-swampbear (with a possible nemesis)

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I’ll never understand how the skunk man survived with FairyChatMom around. I mean, she’s so protective of her Special Friend [sup]TM[/sup]. And did you ever notice that I can’t seem to do that “[sup]TM[/sup]” thing right? I guess there’s some way to do it with symbol tags or something, but I’m pretty stupid, so it’s unlikely in the extreme that I’ll figure it out on my own.

More to the point, I too have a nemesis.

Fortunately for me, he’s a pathetic and ineffectual sort of nemesis who dresses up in cast-off tablecloths and whacks people with foam-rubber swords, which isn’t really all that intimidating. He keeps stealing my wimmin though, so I guess he qualifies as “irritating.” You know who I’m talking about.

Does any of this help? Not that I’m actually trying to help or anybody needs help or anything, but I like to appear to be a nice guy from time to time.

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Now that’s the way a true Arch Nemesis works. Truly, an inspirational tale for us all. Sadly, I’m not even half that talented. I mean, only four of my fingers are string cheesed. And my wheelie chair is broken so I can only go around in circles while cursing ineffectually. Occasionally, Wintermute comes in, laughs at me, kicks my chair over and takes my lunch money. sigh

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I think I was busy that day.
OK, I gotta confess, I don’t get the OP. Yeah, despite all appearances and stuff, I’m not as “hip” or “with it” as I seem to be. Although I was “with it” enough to set my clocks back before I went to bed on Saturday night. So there’s that.

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To be frank, I didn’t understand the OP either.

I like to think that I’m pretty observant, but I don’t remember anybody called Skunk Hat or cheeZdactyl. I sure as heck remember welby, though.

Just what exactly is going on here, Rue? Is this some sort of metaphor or something? I bet that’s it. That sort of crap always goes right over my head.

Appropos of nothing, I think I’d better check my email.

See? I can be confusing too.

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Does it help if you guys think about the fact that, oh, say, Halloween is this week?

It’s a great “scary” story, in RdD’s masterful cheesy style. Bravo.

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I should point out that poutine contains cheese. Also that I don’t really understand the OP. I think that’s okay- I very rarely understnd Rue’s OPs. It’s probably because I’m not very smart, and because he’s a fount of esoteric gnosis. That’s probably it.

Right now my nemesis is Mr. Lissar’s bank- we’re still in overdraft from the summer when he was unemployed, and they’ve frozen his account until we’re out. That should be in mid-December, I think. We’re trying to figure out how to make December’s rent while still digging him out.

Donations are acceptable. No, no, I’m joking, although if you want to mail us large sums of money, that would be okay. Remember, $.25 American will feed a Canadian child for a year.

Sorry, I’m a bit depressed.

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Jeez people, I ain’t saying you’re thicker than bleu cheese but DAMN. Obviously Rue has been hitting the cough syrup again and decided to write a super scary Halloween post.

I mean, I can understand Exgineer not getting it. He’s dumb as a post. I guess FCM is just having an off day, happens to the best of us.

Speaking of Exgineer, did I mention he’s dense?

Rue: Classic. Absolutely Classic.

Rue?

Rue?

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:Sneaks up behind Slortar and kicks over his chair. Puts one foot up on chair and smirks.:

So, Slortar, I’ve been wondering: just what is your super power supposed to be, anyway? Being pathetic?

:Throws head back: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Oh, that was a good one! Being pathetic! Ha, ha, ha, ha!

:Wipes tear from eye:

Now, gimme your lunch money!

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By the way, if anyone is looking for an Arch Nemesis I’ve got some time to devote to it. It’s not like my current victim is a full time job or anything.

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Do I assume that you’re referring to the movie by that name? That would be a movie I’ve never seen and know nothing about… but I kinda figured it alluded to something like that.

Speaking of Halloween, along with the candy, we’ll be giving out rings with bats or skull on them - oooooooooooo, scary!!

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All right, yes. I am dense. Dumb as a post, even. Thanks for pointing that out, jerkface.

WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS THREAD TO ME?

Use small words.

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Exgineer, it looks like Rue decided that for this week’s weekly post that he does, (probably since it’s Halloween week), he would make up a scary story. With his own brand of humor. Ending in the ghost of the spooky cheeZdactyl coming to get him before he finished. See? Scary!

The problem may be that you’re looking for a factual foundation - some actual posters by those names - and a real history. You won’t find them, see, because the whole point to the story is it’s made up.

It’s not like cheeZdactyl actually exists, and will show up to get posters that say bad things about him, and - wait, what’s that squeeking noise? Huh? OH NO, IT’S CH-

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I got to get some Halloween candy for all the little begg… er, Trick or Treaters that may or may not show up.

I’m also grilling steaks Friday night. I ain’t giving them out as treats though. I have a date. He’s coming over. I’m grilling steaks for us. Later we will have some one on one trick or treating. This thread needed to have a little TMI.

And ya gotta love the way Rue made cheese evil. Would packs of string cheese be a strange trick or treat thing to give away? Just wondering cause I’m thinking if I have to have left over treat stuff in the house and eat it, cheese would be better than candy to snack on. Oh heck, who am I kidding. Of course I will stock up on those cute little miniature candy bars. I always do. MMMMMMMMMM… bite size Mounds [sup]TM[/sup] bars.

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Hmm. First Rue, now NE Texan. Guess old cheeZdactyl is having himself a northwestern cheeseball omelette. Heh. I kill me. As long as cheeZdactyl doesn’t kill me I’m good.

Exgineer: Scary. Story. For. Hal. O. Ween.
Better? I know it hurts to think that hard, but try! Try!

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Too late… we had Halloween on Saturday night.

Passed out all our candy and even took the munchkin girl to trick or treat at the neighbors’ houses. Apparently our little town decided that Halloween on Halloween just isn’t good enough! It isn’t safe. The kids might get run over by the legendary cheeZdactyl! Except we’re in the wrong state for that. Oh well.

Next thing you know we will be celebrating 4th of July on a more convenient date and New Years will be moved to a more proper slot in the calendar!

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You know, Wintermute, I think it’s mean the way you take Slortar’s lunch money. I mean, you could share with the rest of us you know!