“Not meaning to be rude” is not the same thing as “not being rude.” In fact, I would venture to suggest that most people who are rude do not “mean to be rude.” The little douche in the OP almost certainly was not thinking, “I’m going to talk loudly on my cellphone to piss off all the other people in this theater!” More likely, he was thinking, “I’m going to speak loudly on my cellphone, just like I do when I’m at home,” and it never even crossed his mind that other people did not want to listen to him talk on his cellphone during their movie. Similarly, since you introduced yourself as an example, if you’re talking loudly in public, particularly in an enclosed place like a bus or an elevator, you’re being rude. You don’t mean to be rude, you’re just doing what you do at home when talking to your deaf momma. But if you don’t recognize that how you behave at home is often not appropriate behavior for public, you’re being rude. Intent does not enter into it. In fact, it is your inattentiveness itself that makes you rude: you are not taking into consideration how your behavior is affecting the people around you. This is, at heart, the very definition of rudeness.
Agree with you - it’s all about having high EQ skills.
Note: I also speak to my deaf mother in public too, in trains, buses and elevators! The loudness of my voice is something I will probably always have to keep reminding myself about.
I still think that it is unreasonable to demand quietness on public transport. I have often been on trains when an excited group of people have just watched a game of rugby or just met up etc, why should I expect them not to chatter loudly? They are not being rude in my opinion, even if I want to read my book and can’t.
Oh, I’m not insane about it: people having boisterous conversations don’t 't bother me, unless they’re screeching like chimps in heat for an hour. Then I just get up and move. I’m solely talking about people who SCREAM into their cell phones, completely oblivious to the fact that they are pissing the hell out of everyone around them: unless they are talking to your mother or another near-deaf person . . . No, even then, I can’t imagine a call that couldn’t wait till they were no longer holding a carload of people hostage.
Similarly, I went to a concert Saturday and had quite a run-in with some stubborn, selfish, slack-jawed halfwit of a cockbiter.
What the hell is it with people who go to concerts and stand up when the music starts even though she’s the only dumbfuck standing in the ENTIRE SECTION?!
Someone in my group of people politely asked her to sit down. She said, “No.” and continued to stand with her wide ass directly in my face. I leaned forward to her and said, “You need to sit down now. Nobody else is standing.” She said, “NO. This is MY seat, and I’ll do what the hell I want with it.” I said, “Sit the fuck down NOW.” She escalated with, “Fuck you, bitch.”
Obviously, my intimidation tactics were buffeted by the alcohol she must have consumed, because I was clearly giving her the, “I’m going to kick your ass and use that pathetic polyester blend hooker dress for your death shroud.” vibe. Her friend, all the while trying to pretend like she didn’t know her…
So, being faced with two choices, either grabbing the dirty twat like a bowling ball and chucking her into the expensive seats, or talking politely to the nearest usher, I went for the usher. I figured that it was the longest route to an assault charge and a lengthy civil suit.
I calmly explained my situation to the usher, who had the balls to explain to me that if she wanted to stand, they weren’t going to do anything about it. I said, (probably three times, just to make sure I had it correct), “Do you mean to tell me that she can block the view of any number of other paying customers and generally act like a derelict, and you FINE, FINE employees of the Anaheim Pond WILL NOT RESPOND TO COMPLAINTS??”
“Affirmative.”
So I had to do what I had to do. I made myself annoying as possible to her until she left. I have no idea where she and her little toady went, but they left my immediate area. All she had to do was sit down until everyone was standing up and I would have left her alone.
I am not proud of my behavior, but she didn’t respond to reason, and I wanted to enjoy the concert. So, I guess you could say that I got mine at someone else’s expense, too. It’s just that she started it and I got to finish it.
I don’t think I’d resort to destruction of property, but on one occasion I was tempted to grab the cellphone from the kid in front of me, tell the person on the other end “he’ll call you back after the movie,” hang up and calmly return the phone. I’ve never been brave enough to actually try it.
YOINK “Hi, inconsiderate person’s friend? They’ll call you back after the movie. They’re loaning me their phone for the rest of the film. Should be about an hour or so. Ta!”
Then turn the power off and put it in your pocket.
Enjoy,
Steven
I’ll give him a kiss, then. Yay, Hero!
Trains aren’t movie theatres (and no, we haven’t always been at war with Eurasia). Aside from Eve’s post being an un-marked hijack, it lumps people who specifically paid for the privilege of enjoying art in peace and quiet (in a room specifically set aside for the display of such artwork) into the radical anti-cell activist crowd. This isn’t fair to any prior posters, who might not necessarily agree with her agenda, or to the reader of the post.
Picture for your imagination: A world where the people we need to speak to on the phone require a certain degree of pleasantries…a world where barking orders like “I’m on the 5:47, meet me at the train station” will at best leave you to handle a domestic dispute when you get home, and at worst, will leave you stranded at the train station.
Picture a world where not all trains stop at all stops on all lines…where longer sections of information like ‘Yes, I’m out early, but the train is late. Yes its 5:05, but this train is not THE ‘5:05’ and you can’t pick me up at station X, because this train doesn’t stop there’ are indeed necessary.
Picture trying to start a conversation with a spouse, who is struggling with dinner and two kids. It’s a conversation which, if in a Cary Grant movie, might go something like this:
“Hi dear! No nothings wrong scratch-sizzle I said nothings wrong. I’m on the train already…but I need you to pick me up at station Y instead. Yes, the Lionel Brothers screwed up again and this train isn’t stopping at X tonight. Look, I know you’ve had a hard day, but the train is already moving and it’s not a local. It’ll be at station Y at 5:47. I can’t help it if it’ll ruin dinner, I can’t very well jump off it now, you know. Those card-board hatted engineers have a thing about that. You can’t be there until 6:20? OK, well Mario’s is around the corner; pizza is on me. Yes, I’ve had a hard day too. I’m sorry to put you out Dear. Tell the boys I love them too. Bye!!!”
Now, imagine that conversation only gets to be, “Hi dear! No nothings wrong scratch-sizzle I said nothings wrong…" because some crazed lunatic is blowing a whistle in my ear and screaming **“What do we want? No Cell Phones! When Do We Want Them? NOW!!!” ** :eek:
Now, I could have talked to the conductor…and I’m pretty sure that the offender ( lets call her ‘Assault Grrl’) would have been removed from the train. She might have even had her monthly pass invalidated (depending on if she got as aggressive with the conductor as she had with me). Hey, she might have even gotten cuffed by the Transit Police, (those swine! 
), who would have smiled at each other as they led her away in shame.
Now, why would I have been able to do this? You see, on a train (the trained reader will note that I am not referring to Movie Theatres), it’s not illegal, and is indeed quite common, to need to make a phone call. It is illegal, however, to commit Assault…and very much frowned upon by both AMTRAK and the Transit Authority in a post 9-11 world. (Once again, but only for any possible slow pokes: train, not theatre. Walk after Igor this way…)
Why didn’t I do this? Well, believe it or not, it’s possible that ‘Assault Grrl’ might have had a bad day too…and even though it was within my rights to have her bounced & humiliated…I took pity on her that day.
Would I let her commit assault against me everyday, or even more than once? No, as that would just be enabling or entitling her anger-management issues, and I wouldn’t be doing ‘Assault Grrl’ or any of her subsequent victims any favors by doing so.
Oh, if only the world had a place where people could sleep…perhaps in cloth and spring-covered contraptions… possibly supported by wood. If only the world set aside places for people to read… safe places, where their quiet could be safe guarded…possibly by large cement-facsimile felines…or even double-mocha-half-fat-double-priced lattes. Oh, what a world, what a world… :rolleyes:
. . . someone who didn’t so much misunderstand all my comments, but twists them insanely to his own agenda and thereby makes himself look stupid.
What simple part of “don’t be a rude shouting jackanapes in public, and try to have the manners god gave geese” didn’t you understand?
The part where committing Assault is legal, if commited by you, Eve.
Huh? Did you actually read any of this thread? In what post do I commit assault or even advocate doing so? If you’d actually read my posts, you would see my version of “doing battle” would be singing Sophie Tucker songs. Which might only be consdered an “attack” if you are a lawyer for the estate of Miss Sophie Tucker, dec.
What part of “be polite in public” do you object to, and on what grounds? Whether in a theater, a restaurant, a train, how can you not see that shrieking (not “talking”) into a cell phone and bothering everyone around you is just flat-out rude?
Excuse me, Eve, but didn’t You type this?
QUOTE=Eve]
[/QUOTE]
damn right I’m getting in your face till you learn some manners.
[/QUOTE]
I’d hate to think someone made you type that line. (Maybe he had a cellphone to your head.)
Getting in someones face and intentionally screaming (or singing loudly) with the intent to intimidate. Because their voice carries. Pardon me, Eve, but don’t you think that just might tip the line into, say…
Assault?
(Still talking Trains here people. Not disagreeing with Theatres…)
Oh, please. Is it against Board rules for me to suggest you cannot possibly be that stupid, so you are being . . . “disingenuous?”
Er…No, not really. Not assault.
Eve, the next time I’m doing battle with a public cell phone screamer, I’m going to start belting out showtunes. In a foreign language. With my horrid singing voice.
Every year there is a free concert in Times Square called “Broadway on Broadway.” One year there was a bitch standing right next to me, making a cell phone call for every song and screaming “GUESS WHERE I AM. GUESS WHO THIS IS. CAN YOU HEAR IT?” Now I make a general announcement that we are here to hear the singers, NOT the people on their cell phones. Someone once said “Well, my friend couldn’t make it.” I replied “Well, don’t scream into the phone.”
What a perfect thread to post this in.
One of my cow-orkers came in on Wednesday and was laughing her butt off. Seems the entire family had gone to see Superman on the 4th and there was the (it seems now) requisite asshat who started yakking on the cell phone during the movie. Several people yelled at him. His response, apparently, was to continue talking and stick his right hand straight up with a rigid digit.
Somebody drilled him in the back of the head with a large soft drink.
There is justice in the world.
I guess it must be the rabid “anti cellphone activist” in me that notices that a certain percentage of cellphone users apparently do not understand that they do not need to raise their voices when using a cellphone. The miracle or modern technology you are using is everso slightly more advanced than a tin can on a string.
The other day my wife and I were sitting in front of our house. Several people walked back and forth, on both sides of the street. We couldn’t hear a word uttered by any of them. Then along came a teenage girl, walking her dog and talking on her phone. Tho she was on the other side of the street, we could clearly hear every word of her insipid conversation. That girl, and her ilk, are the people who give cellphone users a bad reputation. Unfortunately, when you engage in a particular activity - whether it be cell phone usage or rugby - your reputation is unduly influenced by the behavior of the worst behaved persons who share your interest/activity.
The majority of cellphone users speak in a normal conversational tone. This is no different than two commuters having a conversation. No reasonable person objects to that. While I do not understand folks’ desire/need to engage in such trivial phone conversations, I do not particularly object. *(Well, if I wished to go completely off topic, I could imagine an argument that certain “excessive/pointless/time wasting” cellphone use is undesirable - but that is a different discussion.) *
The especially considerate folk hold the phone near their mouth, and may even cover their mouth with their hand, making themselves inaudible.
The only objection is to the minority of loud inconsiderate cellphone users. These are the only people we commuting “activists” object to. I have just as much of an objection to overly loud and boisterous behavior on the train whether it is committed by drunken Cub fans, poorly behaved and unsupervised kids, or cackling octogenarian operagoers.
The train is not a theater, but it is a public conveyance. In a civilized society decent human beings respect the others with whom they share the train. Apparently a significant perscentage of cellphone users were never taught to use their “inside voices.”
Oh yes - there should be a special spot in hell for folks who use those walkie-talkie radio phones (Nextel?) where each person’s comments are separated by a beep, and bystanders are subjected to both sides of the conversation.
I’m neither stupid, nor disingenuous. Neither was MelCthefirst when he disagreed with you, Eve. Even better, I won’t stoop to the personal name calling you just did in the above quoted post.
No, I’m sorry, you’re making a mountain out of a molehill here. “Getting in one’s face” does not by any definition constitute assault automatically. Heck, I wish more people would get up in rude people’s faces. It’s because we’ve all become such a meek little society that rudeness is so tolerated.
It is clear to me that Eve plans to publicly humiliate them and not initiate a beat-down. Eve is way too classy to be assaulting people, anyway. Oh no. She’d be singing Sophie Tucker, loudly, yes.