In the Pitt, this thead by C. K. Dexter Haven pointed out the rude things people are doing whilst using their cell phones.
So, I’m asking here, what are the proper manners for using a cell phone? When and where is it okay to use one? When and where is it not? Most people seem to be oblivious to how stupid or silly they look as they blather away loudly for everyone to hear in public, be it on the bus or simply walking down the street.
Judith Martin, Judith Martin, where are you!?
Tell your caller, “Wait a minute, I’m in an elevator.”
When you are not supposed to be engaged in social discourse with a person who is actually in your presence (dinner partner, grocery cashier).
Where your one-sided conversation does not dominate the general sound level in your immediate vicinity (movie theater, library, museum, bus).
Exceptions may be made IF (1) the conversation is both necessary and brief and (2) you modulate your voice so as to blend in with your surroundings.
Cell phone users should be required to demonstrate that they have memorized this phrase: “I’ll call you back in a few minutes.”
TURNITOFFINTHETHEATERTURNITOFFINTHETHEATERTURNITOFFINTHETHEATER!!! Not just the movie theater. Opera, ballet, play, whatever. Not even cool, no one is impressed. More annoyed.
And in class. Please. I’m having enough trouble focusing as it is, and everyone turning to watch you dig through your bag as your phone screams a midi version of “Lose Yourself” does not help matters any. And for goodness sakes, don’t answer it.
[stage whisper]hey! i’m in class! yeah! class! ok! yeah! i’ll call you back! ok! yeah! bye![/stage whisper]
Here’s an interesting twist: I was on a long-distance train recently, and while all by myself in my single bedroom compartment, was talking on my cellphone.
The service attendant knocked on the door and popped her head in. “We’re going to be…oops! You’re on the phone; I’ll come back later.”
I guess if I had not been on the phone, she would have told me whatever it was she had to tell me. But since I was on the phone, alone in my compartment, and not expecting to hear anything from train staff, she left me alone to finish my call.
That, IMHO, was good manners. Conversely, if she had knocked on the door a minute before the phone rang, I would have paid attention to her. After all, I don’t travel on trains every day, and I wanted to hear what she had to tell me (it was actually about the next stop, and train safety rules). And I could always get the phone message and return it later.
The way I saw it, I was on the phone before she interrupted, so she let me finish the call in privacy. But if she had knocked before the phone rang, I would have paid attention to her before I took the call. That just seems to me to be common courtesy–to first pay attention to the person who is currently speaking with you before you allow others to interrupt.
I don’t understand how people in theatres don’t all still collectively silence or shut off their phones when that friendly messages comes on before the previews. While watching “Magnolia,” the couple behind me got a phone call. The husband answered it, talked for a few minutes, and then passed the phone to his wife so she could talk to the person, too. I wanted to grab it out of their hands and throw it at the screen.
I work in a liquor store, and sooo often people will come in yapping away on their phones, find what they need, pay and leave all while never having said a word to ME. It drives me up the wall when that happens.
(Hi, I’m Sara, and I’m new here! I don’t bite, I promise!)
Thanks, everyone for your responses so far.
Scarlett67, great recommendations. Any idea how to enforce 'em? Or is it a matter of waiting for these bits of etiquette to percolate thru the population?
lovelyluka, most of my profs have strict rules on cell phones. I’m waiting for one to threaten to fail a student for taking a call in class or letting one ring.
Spoons, I agree with you, it was the right thing to do there.
saramamlana, first of all, let me be the first to welcome you to The Straightdope!
I’ve worked as a cashier in a 24 hour drug store. I’m as frustrated as you by these guys who are yapping along as I ring up their order. I ought to charge 'em double or triple the price and see if they notice. Could be fun.
Okay, have any of these new rules of etiquette been codified or written down? Has Ms. Manner’s commented on this yet? Has anyone tried to correct someone’s improper use of cell phone etiquette yet? I’ve been tempted, while on the bus, to yell at one offender, “I beg your pardon, but could you speak a littler louder, please? I can’t quite hear ALL of your conversation!”
Anyone else been tempted to do that?
If you get a chance to watch Trigger Happy TV, do so…
<Nokia tone>
<Dom Jolly stands up, sharp-suited, carrying a mobile phone the size of a surfboard, shouting at the very top of his voice>
HELLO!
HELLO?
[<Brief Pause>
NO, I CAN’T TALK NOW, I’M IN THE LIBRARY
<Brief Pause>
THE LIBRARY
YEAH, THE LIBRARY, BOOKS AND STUFF
SORRY, YOU’RE BREAKING UP
I SAID YOU’RE BREAKING UP
YEAH, TALK LATER, CIAO
Last time I went to the movie theater, they showed a brilliant thirty-second film as the lights dimmed. A cartoonish femaleish robot addressed the audience:
“Welcome to <name of theater>. If you haven’t turned your cell phone off yet, do so now, and leave it off until you leave the theater. When the movie is finished, please take your trash-”
<sound of cell phone ringing>
<robot reaches into a small “pocket”, pulls out a giant blaster>
<flash of red light>
“Where was I? Ah, yes. When the movie is finished, please take your trash with you, and place it in the recepticles located at the exits. Thank you and enjoy the movie.”
I was at a funeral last week and a mobile rang during the Mass and the man took the call.
How obscene is that?
After he had finished his call, the priest asked if people would mind turning their phones off.
IN A FUNERAL.
To my mind, that is pretty low.
If you want to go to the funeral, turn your phone off.
If you forget and horror of horrors the bloody thing rings in the church, then scabble about your person to locate the damn thing and switch it off as quickly as you can.
If you absolutely must speak to whoever it is and you can’t ring them before the funeral, here’s an idea - don’t go to the funeral
But of course, that wouldn’t work because the kind of nitwit who would take a call during a funeral is the same sort of self delusional dodo who is in no doubt that he is far too important to sit at home waiting for a phone call and must go to the funeral because he is a good guy.
I think the rule of thumb is to talk on a cell phone only where you would talk to someone anyway.
Thus, cinema, theatre, funeral, etc, right out. Restaurant, bus, etc, ok, provided you don’t deafen people. In shop, ok, but don’t be surprised if the cashier inturrupts you, or fiddles your change 
That’s the rudest thing I’ve heard done with a cell phone.
Scarlet67 pretty much summed up what I would consider good cell phone etiquette. I had a friend who would take repeated, trivial calls while just the two of us were hanging out. Being stuck looking at a coffeehouse’s wallpaper while listening to “So what have you been up to?” sucks.
THAT show is funny. 
That’s when I would get up and walk out. Obviously the phone calls are more important, so I’ll just go find something else to do with my time. It would be equally rude to talk to another person present and ignore you.
I like the general definition that it is acceptable to talk on a cell phone when it would be acceptable to talk with a companion who is present. So, funerals, movies and the like are right out. Volume level should be such that others are not disturbed. If you’re in a store, don’t stand in the middle of the damn aisle yakking, go outside or someplace where you’re out of the way.
I read a great bit of advice in Ann Landers or Dear Abby or somewhere. If you take a call in a crowded place, cup your hand over your mouth and the microphone of the cellphone. This blocks some of the ambient noise, so you don’t have to speak so loudly, and also muffles your conversation so it doesn’t disturb the people around you.
I think that the general rules of etiquette should apply to cellphones. Don’t ignore people you’re physically with in order to yak on the phone, and be mindful of your volume, so as not to disturb the people around you. This includes turning your cellphone off, or at the very least putting it in silent mode in gatherings where a ringing phone would be a disruption. I might also add that, while it is better than taking the call in an inappropriate place, one should not scramble pell-mell for the door, clambering over knees and treading on toes, when one’s phone rings. If you’re expecting an important call, perhaps you should take care to sit on the aisle so you can make a discreet exit. Otherwise, wait until you have a convenient moment and call the person back. (Most cellphones have caller ID these days, don’t they?)
There are some people who just hate cellphones and would advocate more stringent rules: Only use your phone in private, for example. But I just cannot bring myself to be offended over a person having a quiet cellphone conversation in my viscinity.
Personally, I wish cell phone etiquette included prohibition of musical rings. My cube mate has Eine Kleine Nachtmusik for his ring. And he has it on loud! And he can’t manage to answer within the first few notes - we’re subjected to it over and over.
GAH!
No, the boss won’t say anything about it… And my comments have been ignored. <sigh>
FairyChatMom, I’m guilty of the loud ring thing (though not the cutesy musical ring tone.) My ringer has only two volume settings, “Too low to hear if it’s in your purse and there’s any sort of background noise at all,” and “Ear-splittingly loud.” I don’t get a lot of calls, though.
I can’t figure out why some people seem to freak out when their phone rings. I mean, do you end up with claws embedded in the ceiling when your phone rings at home? Then why the panic when the cell phone rings. Personally I sometimes don’t answer the phone at home. I have the thing for my convenience, not everyone else’s. So if I don’t feel like answering the cell phone, I turn it off. Or silence the ringing, and call the person back later. It’s not difficult!
I agree with most of what’s been said. However,
If I’m on a cell phone when I’m at the drug store, what does the cashier care if I’m talking to him/her or not. So long as I’m paying enough attention to pay the right amount promptly, (s)he can do his/her job which is why (s)he is there.
I don’t understand why people freak out if I’m on the phone in the elevator or on a bus. If I’m talking in a low tone, what difference does it make whether I’m on the phone or I’m having a conversation with another person?
If someone can enlighten me, please go ahead…