A majority of the population (in the USA) considers cell phone conversations in buses, restaurants, stores, and elevators to be rude.
I ask why?
People may say, “It’s rude that I’m forced to hear someone’s personal conversation.”
Well, what if the person on the other end of the phone was present in the flesh? The two would STILL be having a conversation… you would still be hearing the person speak, only now you get both sides of the conversation.
It’s considered quite acceptable for two people to have a casual conversation in the above settings, but when you remove one of the people and place a cell phone in the other’s hand… all of a sudden that person’s being rude.
Again I ask why? (I’m not addressing the “ringing” issue which I agree is annoying… just the cell phone conversation)
I’ve found quite the opposite to be true. As cell phones have become very popular, I see (and participate in) more and more conversations in public places.
The only people I’ve found who consider this rude are people without cell phones. I expect there’s an element of jealosy deep inside this issue.
Well, I have a cell phone, and I consider taking calls in some of those locations to be rude, specifically, those in which you would expect people to pitch their voices lower. I don’t care if someone makes a call of a reasonable length and sound volume next to me in a store or on a bus or train or in the airport. I do, however, think it is rude to make cell phone calls in a restaurant–not to the people surrounding you but to the people at your own table. You owe your attention to those that are present in the flesh. On several occasions I’ve seen someone sit down at a table with friends and immediately call someone else (and, no, they weren’t giving directions to the restaurant, they were just gabbing. I know this because everyone for yards around could hear every word.)
>>tcburnett: “Show me the cite, please. It’s not like that where I live unless someone is yelling into the phone.”
I live in the San Francisco area and in the last few months there have been quite a few tv news pieces and newspaper articles/editorials (Mercury News, The Chronicle, The SF Examiner) dealing with cell-phone etiquette. IIRC, there’s a restaurant here called “Mooses” that was the first in the city (if not the US–although I’m not too sure about that) too ban cell phone use inside the restaurant. Now several other restaurants are hopping on this bandwagon and the number grows each month.
Did you want specific article dates/titles/by-lines?
The difference in attitudes may be due to cell-phone ownership per capita. I moved to SF within the last year and have never seen so many people with cell phones (and yes, I know that more and more people own them with each passing month)
BobT: “I am awaiting the relocation of this thread imminently.”
I’m sorry, should I have posted this in another forum on The Straight Dope or has this just been dealt with? My apologies if either is the case.
I’m not talking about loud shouting into phones or the phones ringing, it just seems that there’s a general vibe that conversing on a cell phone is somehow rude.
the problem is that conversations are now taking place in situations where people used to be able to count on some peace and quiet. what used to be a quiet, relaxing bus ride for some commuters has taken on the din of a noisy cafeteria. the quiet waiting room of a professional office is now interrupted incessantly by cell phone ringing and conversation. people who used to be quiet in movie theaters and libraries have started having conversations even though they’re still alone. you can’t even find solace in the bathroom anymore - people have conversations while sitting on the dumper! the normal face to face conversations are still there, it’s just that our former quiet sanctuaries are disappearing because of cell phone usage.
and i don’t think cell phone intolerance is about jealousy these days - it’s not like in the past when having a ‘car phone’ was a status symbol. every high school kid and their mother has a cell phone. pretty much anyone who wants one can get one.
I agree with the assessment that people talking on cellphones tend to talk louder. I know I do.
Another issue, and this is just personal opinion, is that people who are engaged in phone conversations tend to be inattentive. I think the reason for this is that telephone conversations tend to take up some of the same “mental space,” as it were, devoted to performing other activities. This is also the reason that cellphone use causes problems while driving. (A recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, to which I do not presently have a link, claimed that not only did cellphone use contribute significantly to the likelihood of an accident, but that it made no difference whether the user was in handsfree mode or holding the phone.)
Look at someone when they’re talking on the phone. If they are not engaged in another activity while they talk, they tend to focus on a point about three feet away in space. If they are doing something at the same time, it’s something right in front of them, that doesn’t take a lot of concentration or much dexterity or thought.
Thus, people talking on cellphones in public places tend to (a) talk loud, especially if they’re in a poor service area, and (b) not pay attention to what they’re doing, meaning they get in more attentive people’s way.
zwald and pldennison both make good points that I hadn’t really considered.
I think we’ve all noticed inattentive driving due to cell phones, but I’ve even notice the same with people talking while walking! They tend to walk slower and swerve a bit from side to side (bumping into you as you try to pass!).
Thanks for the responses.
I guess we’re entering a new age of social ettiquette and interaction what with these cell phones and internet-ies.
dietrologia wrote-
Well, what if the person on the other end of the phone was present in the flesh? The two would STILL be having a conversation… you would still be hearing the person speak, only now you get both sides of the conversation.
I’d be really pissed if their conversation ran like this:
Hi there Bob
Hi Sue
Are you there Sue?
YAH Bob can you hear me now.
There you are can you hear me?
BOB YOU ARE BREAKING UP.
AM I IN A BETTER CELL NOW?
BOB???
SUE???
CAN YOU HEAR ME???
ILL CALL YOU RIGHT BACK…
Thats annoying as hell.
On the bus when 2 people talk they whisper. In a restaurant they talk so only they can hear each other. Walking down the street they pay attention to where they walk.
I like cell phones but, if you are gonna use one pull the car over, wait until you can stop against a wall and get off the sidewalk or whisper and pay attention.
Thats why people think you are rude when you use your cell phone!
It is rude, and it is also annoying for the same reason that radio static is…even if you don’t intend to listen, one person talking to themselves cuts in on the white space around you. Also, people who have cell phones tend to drop everything to answer the phone. How would you like to be put on hold at any time during your day by any number of people even when you’re sitting in front of them. Taking a cell phone to a large gathering of people is also disrespectful (Church, Theatre, NRA meeting). There are so many reasons why only drug dealers and door-to-door salesmen should have them (like in the olden days)
I suspect BobT was making a prediction (which will probably come to pass) that this thread will evolve into a debate over cellular phone manners. As posted, “why do Americans have this view of phone etiquitte” is a General Question. Perhaps not one to which there is any one answer, as you see, but there you go. dietrologia:
Heh. A bar I go to from time to time has posted a sign informing people that if they use a cellphone within, around or in sight of the bar, they will be hogtied and branded. Presumably not in a good way.
I look at it as an opportunity to slap such people in the back of the head (hard). Cell phones make them defenseless so it makes it easy to get back at the habitually rude. They can’t fight back until they get a chance to hang up and I am long gone by them; it is nearly as good as a Chinese finger trap. I suggest that more people take up this practice. Just treat the prick (or prickess) as if this were just your kid brother and flick their ears, pull their hair, or do whatever you want to them. They can’t fight back for a while.
Seriously, I was on a flight from Boston to Washington D.C. in which an older gentleman? was talking to someone on his cell phone in the loudest voice you have ever heard before we pulled away from the gate. I mean loud!!! It disrupted over 200 people for more than 20 minutes. He made call after call. I happened to be sitting directly in front of him so I turned around to say something and he shooed me away and threatened me. Other passengers started complaining and pretty soon we had a plane full of people ready to pummel this guy. Approximately 50 people around him started making as much noise as we could to get him to shut up! He announced to the person that he was talking to that he was going to have to go so that he could “kick some ass”. We called the stewardess but she said that cell phones were allowable since we had not pulled away from the gate. Other passengers talked me into slamming my seat into full recline as soon as we reached cruised because this was also “allowable”. When the prick threatened me and my wife once again, the man sitting next to him in the row behind us threatened to kill him (this was not a joke) when we landed. After we landed, the man who made the threat followed the cell phone abuser into the bathroom and slammed his head repeatedly into the urinal. All the passengers cheered when he was taken away unconscious and bloody to the hospital.
This hasn’t even made it to GD, yet, much less the Pit. I share your skepticism of the events as they were related, but as long as we’re in GQ, why not find a gentler, perhaps humorous, method to challenge the story?
I’m don’t really want to inflame this thread into a debate and get it moved, but I have also noticed people in public places using cell phones that are a.) loud, b.) distracted, and c.) ignoring the people who are physically ‘with’ them. Sometimes for extended periods. (10 to 15 minutes) I personally consider any one of these behaviors to be at least mildly rude. I’m not sure the people acting this way have ever given any thought to how they affect the people around them. As a final note, I’ve noticed that people driving while talking on a handheld cell phone tend to not use thier turn signals for turning or lane changes or anything else. I don’t have a cell phone myself, yet, but I do sometimes eat lunch while driving between jobs. I try to make sure it doesn’t interfere with my driving, though.
Looking at stain on shirt, thinking “That’s funny, I don’t remember eating there…”
