Cell Phone Rudeness Question

In My Humble Opinion
21

I think some people are capable of using their phones in non obtrusive ways, but by and large I find the bulk of the population to be fundamentally rude with cell phones. People who drive with cell phones can’t seem to maintain lane discipline or are poor judges of distance and speed so they frequently pull out in front of other drivers. In resturants, they generally have to talk louder to be heard over the background noise or other cell phone users. I’ve herad some pretty interesting cell phone wars where two or more users continue to escalate their volume to be heard over the other cell phone users. Cell phone users allow themselves to be interrupted from a serious conversations in favor of whatever chit chat might be delivered via their telephone. I can understand answering the call in case it might be important, but the rude part is if I’m talking about my uncle’s bout with cancer and they wind up on a cell phone conversation about the weather in Galveston. I even see cell phone users take calls at the theater. They talk loudly and to make matters worse, they have those little distracting antenna flashers…

This is an extreme case, but the other day, I was on a flight the other day. We were already running late because of high traffic, but were finally in the queue for take-off. Suddenly we ended up pulling out of the staging line and going to the back because some lady refused to end her cell phone conversation - in spite of all the warnings and demands of the flight attendants. She was only two aisles in front of me and I could hear most of the conversation and it just sounded like idle chit chat… Finally the co-pilot came back, took her phone and informed her that she would have authorities waiting to talk to her at our destination. Unfortunately, the delays caused by this incident caused me to miss a connecting flight.

At the gas station, the pump is blocked by the guy talking to his girlfriend. At the grocery store the aisle is blocked by the lady asking her kids what breakfast cereal they want. At the post office, the mail box is blocked by the lady talking to her mother. At the stoplight, the intersection is blocked by the guy who’s so preoccupied with his phone that he failed to see the light change. etc. etc.

This, I think, is where the most rudeness arises from cell phone usage. Because humans are not good at multi-tasking, people on cell phones tend to be obstructions to the public, at large.

I think that cell phone useres, in general, are so rude, I tend to actully notice non rude users… They stand out as the exception.

BTW, I have a cell phone myself, but I try to be a very polite user and go out of my way to avoid disrupting, distracting, or ignoring others around me.
I also hate those people who are trying to talk to you at the same time as they converse with someone via a two-way pager.

22

That was going to be my point as well. When I’m sitting down at the dinner table and my (home) phone rings, I don’t answer it because I am involved in some activity; namely dinner with my date/spouse/mother in law/cat/whoever. I don’t know why cell phone manners should be any different.

I equate it with being in a situation where you’re engaged in a conversation with a friend, then a third person walks up and starts chatting with your friend in a different language that you do not understand. Your discussion has been abruptly truncated & you have been effectively excluded from the conversation. If I were carrying a cell phone, I would never answer it if I am already engaged in a close association with another person. That’s what voice mail is for. You know that you have received a call, and you can excuse yourself when it is polite to do so and return the call, if necessary. It was probably just a telemarketer anyway.

If you’re alone, then I don’t see a real problem, manners-wise, as long as you keep a normal conversational volume level.

I have never understood why people carry cell phones 90% of the time in the first place. I have seen people wearing cell phones in the clubs, where the noise level makes even face-to-face conversation impossible, let alone a telephone call. What kind of call are you expecting at 1 o’clock in the morning that is so damn important? I know that some people like doctors/tech support are always on call, but these people are in the vast minority.

Yes, I have a cell phone, and yes I sometimes bring it along with me for emergencies or in case I need to make a call for directions, etc., but when I am not using it for these things, I always have it turned off and placed out of site since it is not required for my job and anybody who needs to reach me can just leave a message on my voice mail or home answering machine.

I think I would be somewhat offended if I went out to dinner with somebody who felt the need to bring along a cell phone that was not turned off. “Let me bring my phone along in case somebody more interesting calls while we’re out” is the message I would get from that kind of behaviour.

Why should I wear a bell around my neck that anybody in the world can ring?

23

a sexual invitation of some sort, most likely - nobody wants to miss that call. i have a female friend with whom i often go out for drinks and food. when she sits down, she puts two things on the table - a pack of cigarettes and a cell phone. i have commented to her on several occasions that i think her cell phone behavior is rude but she doesn’t understand why. we’re both single and many of my friends are married. if i had more friends that were willing to go out drinking after work at the drop of a hat, i probably wouldn’t put up with it.

24

Ditto what most of you said. If you’re at dinner, be at dinner. The other people in your party deserve your attention.

This consideration should apply to people at other tables. Would you be put off if the guy at the next table ate his soup with his fingers? Why should your phone manners be different? If you need to use a phone, excuse yourself from the table and call from outside the dining areas.

If you’re on a bus or plane, I don’t mind if you make a short call and say what’s necessary. After all, you can’t step out for a few minutes. Just don’t try to turn your seat into a phonebooth.

And Bill H., I’m not jealous. I’ve got a cheaper, safer and less offensive way to talk in public. They’re called public phones. For thirty-five cents or less, I can make any call I need to make; it’s cheaper than any plan I could possibly find, and I stay in touch with the people I’m with.

25

I think that people find it more pretentious than rude. At least these are the comments I hear most about cell phone users in stores and restaurant. Cell phones seem to have become regarded as a status symbol of a sort and I think this is what contributes to attitudes like this. Its sort of a “Who the hell do they think THEY are to need to have a phone with them all the time?” attitude.

Quite honestly I think its none of our business anyway and probably says more about the observer than the cell phone user.

26

Have you actually read this thread? Most (not all, I admit) of the comments you are hearing is that loudness and inattention are rude! I don’t recall too many comments on the pretentiousness issue.

When somebody starts talking on the phone in a movie theater (very common these days), how many people do you think are upset over a “status symbol,” and how many do you think are upset over rude behavior?

Two people having a conversation at dinner can rarely be overheard more than a few feet away. A person on a cel phone tends to be much louder. As someone who rides the Metro every day, I know this to be true! The whole car is often privy to the conversation (usually quite banal).

I don’t even accept your premise that cel phones are status symbols. I mean, have you seen some of the Yahoos walking around talking on the phone? Anyone can get one. Some status. :rolleyes:

27

Hum. In some cases I think there really is a pretentiousness issue: the pretense is “I’m so important that I’m going to take this call regardless of what anyone around me might think.” I don’t think very much attaches to the phone itself – it’s the attitude of the phone user.

I live in Chelsea, NYC, where the Vox 646 restaurant is credited as the first in NY to have a “cell phone lounge” between the first and second doors. I hope this becomes a palatable (pun intended) option, at least for restaurants.

Miss Manners (who does not provide links) has recommended that cell phone users dining with others leave the table to take a call. If it’s not important enough to take that step, then it’s not important enough to take the call!

Special dispensation to giving directions, of course.

28

A minority of people in this thread have expressed the belief that cell phone use is “nobody else’s business”. I find this hard to believe. The contention point is merely the audacity of the cell phone abuser. To help clarify the matter, I have devised the following test.

Instructions:

Identify the highest number corresponding to cell phone abuse that you find unacceptable. This will identify the strength of your stance when we discuss this issue. For instance, I am an ‘7’. All behaviors lower than ‘7’ are not acceptable to me.

Question:

I would find it offensive if someone used a cell phone during:

  1. My wedding as I am saying the vows
  2. At a family member’s funeral
  3. During a play
  4. At a movie
  5. At a restaurant (at the table)
  6. At my party
  7. While driving
  8. On the subway
  9. At work
  10. In a lobby
  11. In a store
  12. On the street
  13. In the privacy of his/her own home.
29

I am one of the small minority that have had to carry a cell phone for tech support. I ride a bus to and from work, for about an hour, and most of us used to be able to sleep on the way. This has become pretty much impossible now, with all the self-important people yakking it up on the phone. There are people you learn to avoid sitting anywhere near because you know they’ll be on the phone all the way. By contrast, I used to get calls (I carried the phone for about a year) about once every couple of weeks. The calls would last no more than five minutes, because if I couldn’t solve the problem in that short space of time it meant it would have to wait until I could get to my PC and dial in from home. What with the laws of probability I’d say that all of two or three of these calls only (this is in a year) took place during a time when people would be sleeping, the rest being taken while waiting, while boarding, or at the tail end of the trip, when the bus was going local and letting people off and no one was sleeping anyway.
The only other legit reason for cell phone use on the bus that I could see was calling someone to pick you up when you got off if you lived a good distance from the bus stop, which I did from time to time when the weather was bad. These calls were always very short, with me telling my wife whether to pick me up in five or ten minutes.
The people who sit on the phone the whole time are of the same class as those who hog two seats when they’ve only paid for one, who recline ALL THE WAY BACK so that if you’re sitting behind them you’re all scrunched up, who turn their Walkmens ALL THE WAY UP so that everyone can clearly hear the execrable music they’re playing, and who, if they’re reading the paper, will turn the pages VERY LOUDLY, thereby waking you out of a sound sleep once a minute.
Rude is rude.

30

Let’s see,
–1-4. Absolutey not. A person has no business with a phone here.
–5 (another table); depends on volume level. If I can’t hear you above a normal conversational tone, I don’t care. Also goes for 8.
–5 (my table); this really depends on the circumstances. If I’m with a friend and he wants to call a third to arrange movies plans for the group, okay, we’re aiming for a common goal. A date wants to check her soap opera update; uh, no.
–6, 9-11; don’t care; just try to be discreet and/or relatively quiet
–7; Seems awful distracting to me. This doesn’t affect me on a personal level, but see what happens when you sideswipe me.
–12; don’t care, but please watch where you’re going
–13; don’t care

31

Divemaster, why did you whoop on SixString’s butt with your remark: “Have you actually read this thread?..etc” ???

Did YOU read his post? All he said was:

“I think that people find it more pretentious than rude. At least these are the comments I hear most about cell phone users in stores and restaurant…”

He was just relating what he’s heard. Why did you have a problem with that? I don’t get it.

32

I see cell phones as rude because A) they do seem to encourage louder tones of voice in places that are not meant for raised voices (as was stated earlier in the thread). I also consider cell phone conversations in public rude because B) people on a phone are generally walking down a street and can’t pay close enough attention to the people around them to avoid accidents. This caught my eye on the Champs-Elysees when I was in Paris for 3 weeks this summer; several times I had to jump around people to avoid varying and assorted messes because they were too busy talking to look where they were going. It’s also been something I’ve seen on campus, but to a lesser extent. When I am with friends, I get so irked if someone in the group decides to take a cell phone call and hold a full conversation. The rest of the group feels obligated not to make too much noise, but at the same point, we all want to talk to each other as well. Cell phone conversations in general make a lot of impositions on people than the owners may realize…but perhaps more often do not.

And as for the whole driving while using a cell phone: It’s dangerous and STUPID. I won’t cite the number of times I’ve heard about accidents caused by this phenomenon. Cartalk.com has “Hang Up and DRIVE!” bumper stickers available that are, I think, just the cost of an SASE. Kudos to Tom and Ray.

33

I see now that he was talking about people from his general experience. My first (mistaken) impression was that he was talking about the attitudes on this thread, the majority of which are counter to his statement. Mea Culpa.

I am overly sensitive on this subject I guess. It gets tiresome whenever I voice an opinion against cel phone use in public, someone inevitably says, “Oh, you’re just jealous,” or “you just think they’re being pretentious and that bothers you,” or that I think they are being “showy.” It seems that these people can’t fathom that I don’t care if you think it is a status symbol (it’s not). My beef is not with perceived status, it is with blatant rudeness.

I should not have reacted so strongly to SixString’s comment. I think the people on this thread are more representative of overall attitudes than the people he talks to; but I should not have come down on him for reporting that experience.

(Hey, don’t tell my girlfriend that I actually admitted I was wrong twice today on two separate threads. I wouldn’t want to set a precedent! :))

34

My partner and I were walking in a store today, conversing quietly on our way to the pet food section. Two people walked right up behind us and were discussing something of a personal nature in fairly loud tones. I was a bit put out, and we stood aside and let them pass us. I liken that to talking on a cell phone too loudly, as a kind of an invasion of personal space, as several of the previous posters seem to be saying.

35

Divemaster, your secret is safe with me. I won’t say a word to… uhh… Divemistress?

Very gracious reply, incidentally.

36

is the same as smoking. That is, it’s something you personally want to do that invades on other people’s rights and personal space if they are present. Fortunately, most smokers have the courtesy to take it outside, or go to the section of the restaurant that allows them to do their thing. Use of cell phones should follow this same precedent.

(Oh, and sorry about that double post)

37

I worked for a while as a cashier at an all-night drug store. The problem I have with cellphones are those who use them when I’m ringing up their purchases.

I have a small routine of greeting the customer, making sure they have everything they want to purchase, announcing their total, announcing how they’re paying and then thanking them after giving them their change, if any. And when I mean announce their total and how they’re paying I mean only to the customer, not over the loudspeaker. It’s good feedback and shows the customer you’re paying attention to the transaction.

I’ve had several people conversing on cell phones as they’re checking out, leaving me feeling as if I’d not given them good service (by interacting with them) of feeling like (to them) I’m nothing more than an automaton. Either way, I feel it’s very rude. Any suggestions on how this should be handled?

Btw, no, I’m not longer working as a cashier, but this question of etiquette still bothers me.

38

dietrologia - I often ask myself the same question you did in your OP.

I can understand if someone is being loud or if a cell phone rings in a movie theater or concert hall. That would bug me, too. But I don’t think the whole “hearing one end of a conversation” thing holds up.

Some New York City restaurants have taken this to the extreme: They ban cell phone use. Since I can’t understand why this is, I refuse to eat at such places.

I carry my cellular for emergencies, both business and personal. Too bad if some people consider it rude. Can’t they find something more interesting to listen to, other than one side of my conversation?

39

tcburnett: “Show me the cite, please. It’s not like that where I live unless someone is yelling into the phone.”

There’s a periodical seemingly dedicated to the discussion of this topic. :slight_smile: http://www.metrarail.com/Bilevel/otbl01-08-2000.html

Seriously, “On the (Bi)Level” is the Metra passenger newsletter. But as the “Part Two” at the top indicates, this is a long-recurring topic on the pages of OTB. And most of the letters printed are people kvetching about cell phones. Mind you, this is a newsletter for TRAIN PASSENGERS, so the whole “telephoning while one is driving a car” issue doesn’t come into play. No, the animosity seems to break down along the lines of:

1)“why don’t you wait to talk about that until you get to your home/office?” Frivolous cell phone calls?! Frivolous?! As if all conversations on wire phones are of “now you can smash your telephone!”* importance.

  1. Cell phoners are vainly trying to show off. Baloney! With how common cell phones are, NOBODY is making cellular calls to show off to the other passengers. This isn’t 1985, for frick’s sake!

  2. The rash of “I’m on the train” calls that commence on evening outbound trains as soon as the train clears the station approach portal. (At Union Station and the Electric terminals, the station platforms and approaches are underground, and a signal is intermittent at best.) “I don’t care that you’re on the train; I know you’re on the train.” But, old sport, the person on the other end of the phone DOESN’T bloody well know that, and that’s the very reason I’m calling, because they have to warm up the car, nuke dinner, or some such.

Can you tell I’ve finally bought a cell phone? :slight_smile: But in all honesty, I thought the same thing before I bought a cell phone.
*Kudos to who can identify that obscure historical quote. Hint: I have a feeling that Guinastasia might know it.

40

Yes, it’s rude. I don’t want to listen to your phone ring anymore than I want to hear you burp or fart.

I remember a time when those who really needed a cell phone owned one. Now every Tom, Dick, and Sally has one and I do find it annoying. Why? Because it’s even being used by someone ahead of me in a checkout lane! But the icing on the cake occurred at Monticello. Yep, Thomas Jefferson’s home. Lib and I were on a tour of the gardens when this familiar shrill and annoying ring filled the air. A woman of retirement age received a call from a friend and proceeded with mindless chit-chat for at least 10 minutes!

I’d like to turn the tables and ask those who do own one if they really need to have them, or is it just for your ego?

You couldn’t pay me to own a cell phone and, in fact, I’ve even turned down offers for a free cell phone.