In principle, I agree that people shouldn’t do arbitrary things because “God” says so. But (a) not every religious custom involves breast-beating and feeling awful, lots are just “oh well, do blah blah blah and its all ok”, but it can be really bad if you do something wrong repeatedly without acknowledging it.
And (b) people differ on how much they keep arbitrary laws (cultural as well as religious). Some people feel that as long as they’re making the effort, they’d just as soon avoid the difficulties as much as possible and would rather not be told. But some people would rather choose for themselves what laws they will reject, and which they will actually keep, and saying “oh, well, I know better than you, I’m going to decide on your behalf which bits of your religion/culture you’re allowed to keep and which you’re not” is one of the most offensive thing you can ever do to a person.
So, um, I agree with where you’re coming from, but I’d check your assumptions are what your partner actually wants
I wouldn’t need to be told. My body would reject the animal fat within 30 minutes or so of ingestion. I’d be hanging my ass over the toilet, moaning, “Damn. That must have had real chicken fat in it.”
The Shits effect is NOT psychosomatic, and frankly, I’m surprised more vegetarians haven’t mentioned this.
For me, it’s not about should you tell or should she want to know… it’s a moot point. Strict vegetarian ingests animal fat – I don’t know why I’m the only veggie on the Dope who experiences explosive, projectile diarrhea within an hour of eating some form of animal fat for which I’ve lost the enzyme to digest it. Believe me, the diarrhea is not all in my head.
I’m not sure how an omnivore would be able to tell the difference between chicken and chicken substitute in this situation, unless you worked at the restaurant or saw them slaughtering the chicken. I’m an omnivore and I’ve eaten my sister’s leftover fake chicken patties, and I couldn’t tell it wasn’t real meat.
If they keep kosher, I think you should definitely tell them. Because if they thought the meal was dairy or parve and it actually had meat in it, that means they are now fleishig and can’t eat dairy for a number of hours. And depending on what kind of food it was and what they ate it with, they might need to call their rabbi about re-kashering dishes. Of course they’re going to find out that they may have just eaten treif, but knowing about it will keep them from doing more forbidden things by accident later.
There is no special enzyme to digest animal fat. (Actually, enzymes digest proteins, not fat, but I know what you mean.) Bile is the substance that digests fat, animal and plant alike.
Now, it’s possible that if you eat a diet low in fat that the added fat load could cause abdominal cramping and diarrhea. This is because bile tends to be made and stored based on how much fat you eat everyday. While the body can make more, it takes more than a single meal to trigger it to do so. Even omnivores who eat an unusually high in fat meal (when compared to their normal diet) get the shits. But bile is bile, and breaks down all fats. If you’d eaten an equivalent quantity of palm kernal oil, we’d expect the same thing to happen.
The reason, IMHO, that some vegetarians experience diarrhea when they get “carnivored” is because there are some vegetarians who eat a low fat vegetarian diet. Their body makes a certain (small) amount of bile everyday based on what fat they need to digest. When they suddenly eat meat, the added fat doesn’t have enough bile to break it all down, and so they get the shits.
Other vegetarians are what I call “mac-n-cheese vegetarians;” they don’t eat meat, but they eat a diet high in fats, using cheeses and eggs and fake meat products for their protein sources more than they use legumes and grains. Or they eat lots of french fries, if they’re vegan. These folks *don’t *get the shits if they eat meat.
At least, that’s been my observation of a heck of a lot of vegetarians over the years I’ve danced with the hippies.
My SO is a vegetarian, I’m an omnivore, and I would definitely tell her. Why wouldn’t I?
I don’t understand this childish need to go “Ha HA! Guess what YOU ate!” My girlfriend is a grownup – she can choose what she does and doesn’t eat, just as I can. I respect her by respecting her choices, and she respects me by respecting mine. Neither of us dictates whether the other can eat meat.
If I was unknowingly served shark fin, or dolphin, or anything else on the very small list of foods I don’t wish to eat on principle, I would hope that any friend who found out would tell me right away.
And yes, animal products can cause very real stomach upset in vegetarians. At least once or twice my girlfriend has traced unpleasant digestive symptoms back to a ‘vegetarian’ dish that actually had meat broth in it.
I’m a meat eater who has a veggie SO. I’d tell her so she would know to watch the place in future. We’ve eaten stuff only to find out later that there was animal products in the sauce once or twice. She was fine a bit put off but nothing special. It happens, I’d imagine most veggies have gone through it.
Thank you for that explanation! I see I had the right idea, but misunderstood enzymes vs. bile. At one time, I was trying to do the Dr. Dean Ornish diet, which is extremely low fat vegetarian. (I was not a Mac and Cheese Veggie, although I know a lot of them.) When I decided to start eating chicken again, I had to go very slow and try tiny amounts and avoid the fattiest preparations and the skin at first. Now I can finally chow down on some fried chicken (which is the only thing I really missed while full-on veggie). But it’s definitely the fat content: red meat like bacon or cheeseburgers will still make me sick. Deep fried anything can make me sick depending on what it’s fried in. I’ve also had trouble with Mexican restaurants, even when ordering the vegetarian entrees… because a lot of them use lard in their beans. I might as well shovel the beans straight into the toilet. (I know, ew.)
Pretty much the same thing happened to me once. My wife (at the time) was a veggie and pregnant. One day while I was at work she got into the fridge and lapped up my left over chicken wotwot thinking it was her tofu wotwot. I got home and noticed my chicken had turned to tofu. She found out when I did because I was muttering something to myself about my dish being a little off and then, “Oh…this is tofu. Guess what you had for lunch!” In retrospect, she probably knew even while she was eating it up.
As for would I tell someone I cared about? Yeah, especially if it was something other than chicken. If you go a long time without butter, pork, especially beef you can end up dealing with a revolting colon in fairly short order. Some warning (and knowledge it’s not something really serious) would be nice I’d think.
For the record, this was an actual incident that occurred about a month ago, basically exactly as presented in the OP. Her vegetarianism is not health- or religion-based in any way whatsoever. I started to say something to her about it, and her response was, “Why would you tell me that?!”
Like I said earlier, it has indeed become very difficult to tell them apart. I dissected and examined a piece when I became suspicious it was actual chicken, and the sealer was that the cats loved it when I offered them some (they will absolutely not eat the fake stuff).
As a vegetarian not for health or religious reasons, I really wouldn’t want to know in the situation described by the OP. I don’t think it would make me sick, but, like someone upthread said, it’s like telling someone they just ate a bug. I just don’t want to know about it. It’s been so long since I’ve eaten chicken that the idea just grosses me out now.
Personally, I’d want to be told. Here’s a case that actually happened to me recently. I keep kosher, for a certain reform/conservative definition of kosher. I’ll eat at non-kosher restaurants, but order vegetarian food or fish. Got some takeout from a local pizza place recently, including eggplant rolatini. I ate a whole roll without noticing anything weird. But my friend noticed in his piece that there was a slice of ham rolled inside. We checked the other rolls and sure enough, each one had a layer of ham amongst the layers of eggplant, cheese, etc. I’ve eaten eggplant rolatini a lot of places but never seen any meat in it before.
So, I’m glad my friend told me what he found because: a) I now know not to order it there, or to ask if they can make it with no ham, and b) I now know to check when ordering it elsewhere.
It’s not exactly an analogous situation since the hypothetical (or is she?) girlfriend’s order just got messed up, so it’s unlikely to happen again. But still, I’d want to know…
I’ve never been vegetarian but a few years ago I went on a very strict weight loss regimen that involved me only eating very lean meat, fresh vegetables, and a small amount of fat (trace fats in the lean meat + olive oil, mostly.)
When I had finally hit my goal weight and ate a hamburger I pretty much had the same reaction. I’ve eaten pretty healthy ever since then since I didn’t want to gain the weight back, but now that I occasionally eat some fatty food I’m accustomed to it again.
I would suggest not going back to that restaurant again.
And for people who subscribe to the “Neener Neener!” school of thought that a vegetarian who “slips up” and eats meat is OBVIOUSLY NO LONGER A VEGETARIAN–you’re full of shit.
Mainly because it’s none of your business why a person is vegetarian. Eating meat does not cause an uncontrollable urge to hit every hamburger joint and fried chicken shack in town. It is not comparable to an alcoholic falling off the wagon.
The ONLY thing to be gained by telling the vegetarian about the mix-up is some sort of personal need to be diabolical.
Courtesy costs you NOTHING. As Ann Landers used to say, “MYOB.”
~VOW
