You forgot the rules and made the hash browns with lard instead of sesame oil.
You thought all vegetables were organic, didn’t know about the herbicide-free business until that discussion just before dinner was served.
You ran out of soy milk and put cow’s milk into the fruit frappe.
Nope.
Wow, I ws about to come in here and say, “Of course not”, but I can see myself doing some of those things. I don’t even own soy milk, and I never differentiate between veggies beyond price and taste. Good points.
My sometimes excuse is that they pull that stuff with me all the time.
“Hah! You say you don’t like veggie burgers, but that’s all we’ve had all afternoon.”
“It’s rice milk. Be honest. You didn’t know in that mix, did you?”
There’s a difference between what you describe - which sound like honest mistakes - and outright lying about it.
I’d say mistakes are ok, but if someone’s beliefs are set to the point where they differentiate between those kinds of things, then they will want to know.
Of course it’s not right-consider that many people who don’t eat meat probably haven’t done so in a long time (unless they are very new to vegetarianism) and as such, suddenly eating meat might give them indigestion.
**power sawyer
**
Why is it OK to lie about anything? How can you expect trust if you are not trustworthy? How would you feel if someone lied to you about something that was really important to you? Did you really think your vegetarian friends were serving you meat burgers?
These examples would only work if they knew that you didn’t want to eat veggie burgers or rice milk and tricked you into eating it anyways. Tricking people (who aren’t your kids) into eating something that they don’t want to is not a good thing to do.
No it is always wrong. They have a belief (That I don’t believe in). It is not right to lie.
Let them know and let them decide.
Jim
If you forgot and they’re already eating, the damage is already done, but you still owe it to them to own up to your mistake and give them the option of pushing their plate away.
However, if I were the one eating at an omnivore’s house, I’d be sure to ask in advance. This just HAS to happen often enough to make you question everything you’re served.
No, it is not okay to lie to them about what they are eating. Even if it is a fairly benign instance (like cow milk in the frappe) they have a right to know what they are putting in their bodies. I am not a vegetarian but I have dietary restrictions I adhere to and I wouldn’t appreciate it if someone lied to me about what I was eating.
The lard example is right out. If someone did that to me - and some people have intentionally, and with other animal products like broth, meat, etc. - I’d be throwing up within an hour or so. If I understand the biochemistry of it properly, not eating meat causes a big decrease in the production of enzymes needed to digest meat and similar animal products, and you can feel nauseous or even vomit. Yes, this has happened even when I didn’t know the food was “doctored”; the people who did this confessed after I threw up. In fact, I accidentally did that to myself once with a store-bought package of “vegetable” eggrolls, only checking the label afterwards to find chicken broth and chicken fat in the ingredients.
Cow’s milk? Besides risking the wrath of the lactose intolerant, you run into the ethical vegetarian issues as well - for some it might be like an average pet-liking person being told “oh hey, that was actually dog you ate, surprise!”
If you have ethical qualms about eating soybeans/rice or a terrible allergy to them, then the counterexamples you gave have real merit. Still, I don’t screw around with that lame “surprise, you really ate (vegetable) not (meat)!” trick myself. I tell people what’s in what I cook, and if they don’t like it, they can not eat it. I’m an ovo-lacto (egg and dairy-eating) vegetarian who’s hand-made venison and pork sausage, and who cooks meat nearly every night for her omnivorous husband, who’ll attest that I’m a damned good cook whether or not I’m making meat. The least people can do when I’ll cook them meat is not whine about a little soy that I warn them about.
Nope, no lies. Aside from the ethical considerations, what if the person became vegetarian for health-related concerns. Food allergies for example. Put cow’s milk in a dairy-allergic person’s drink and you could hospitalize or kill them. There might be other health-related concerns that I can’t think of offhand, as well.
The comparison to “haha, you were eating VEGGIE BURGERS and DIDN’t EVEN KNOW IT” doesn’t fly. Though there are enough people who dislike veggies in all forms, few people have philosophical (don’t kill animals) or religious (Jews/Muslims who can’t eat pork) objections to, say, soybeans. Broccoli, maybe. Eggplant, most likely, Okra, certainly, but soybeans are pretty innocent 
Non-organic? Though someone might prefer organic foods, if they’re eating in someone else’s home I’m guessing they wouldn’t expect to be served organic stuff.
Nope, it just isn’t cool. If you honestly forgot something that’s one thing but to intentionally deceive someone else about what they’re eating isn’t right.
Marc
It’s vile to trick anyone into eating something they will not/can not normally eat, whether it’s mushrooms or meatballs. If you realize you made a mistake when something was prepared it’s best to own up to it and give them warning, and apologize.
True story: I do not eat animal flesh, and I cannot stomach any shellfish. I don’t even understand how anyone else can stomach shellfish.
Someone brought a nice pasta and veggie salad to an office party once. I asked her if there was any meat in it. She insisted there wasn’t I told one bite and literally spit it out. “What the F is in this?” Her response: Oh, you can’t taste the little bit of crab meat that’s in there.
And for all you know, someone might say “Vegetarian” when they mean “I am deadly allergic to this and if I eat it you’ll have to take me to the hospital.”
Religious restrictions or lifestyle choices aside, there are also health issues at stake, too. Even if it’s an honest mistake, you need to let the person know what they ate in case they have a major reaction and need some sort of countermeasure. I can’t think of any examples off the top of my head, but lets say cow milk causes my vegetarian guest’s throat to swell shut. I believe I owe it to him to let him know so he can tell his doctor and get a shot of antivenom or whatever.
:smack: I type too slowly sometimes.
I’m a hardcore carnivore and I think this whole vegetarian thing is a bit silly. But I find the idea of lying to people about what they are eating completely appalling. The potential health issues alone make this issue an easy call. Do you know all the potential implications of every ingredient in your dish for every person who will consume it? Who are you to make those decisions for someone else?
Even without any health issues at all, people have a right to know what they are eating, regardless of whether or not you think their personal choices are silly. This goes for both vegetarians and carnivores who aren’t interested in tofu.
I worked with a guy who had peanut allergies. When the holidays rolled around, he would never partake because you just don’t know if peanut oil, nuts, or what have you was used. Particularly when you have people whose spouse made the food, or the person who brings a plate of cookies that really came from a box,who has no idea what went into them.