Attention all Asshats!
Yes, this means YOU!
Turn off your fucking fog lights when there’s no fog!
I don’t give adamn if the guy on the radio said there was fog out. Pull your head out of your ass for a minute and observe your surroundings. There is no fucking fog! I repeat:
There is no fucking fog!
Your fucking fog lights are burning holes in my retina. Cut it out. Turn the fucking things off already.
Thank you.
They’re probably not fog lights. They’re probably just the lights. I’ve noticed that these days apparently people do a lot of driving underground or on Pluto or somewhere else where they need to have supernova-level normal lights. Their high beams can skeletonize a cow in 20 seconds.
Perhaps you should invest in some sunglasses.
Nope. Definitely fog lights. The fucking things are set in the air dams below the bumper. And it isn’t just one asshat, it is dozens. I’ve got four eyed head light spots burned into my retinas from the drive home this evening. As bad as this is, though, I am waiting for the worst. In a couple of weeks we’ll start getting seriously cold weather, and the guys on the radio will start telling everyone to be careful of the ice. And then the asshats will start driving ten miles an hour - on clear roads with no ice.
And dim your goddamned Brights when you approach another caror come up from behind! Especialy you there, with the halogens!
Seing what’s twelve miles ahead of you might be nifty, but those of us that are coming up on you within three miles can feel the light burning holes through our eyes in the back of our skulls! And being able to see is useful at night when driving. It keeps me from slamming into you head on.
Can anyone tell me why headlights can’t be red? Red light doesn’t affect night vision as much as white light. Plus it would look mega-cool.
What I need is an automatic sun shade built into my glasses that darkens when I get zapped with ten gigawatts of retina destroying fog light power. It has to be automatic, though. I couldn’t possibly flip shades up and down, drive down a curvy road, and search the radio dial for decent music all at the same time.
Besides. It is fucking dark out there. With sunglasses on, I wouldn’t be able to see the road.
Well I’m out of suggestions. How about “keying” them while they zoom by?
This would confuse the hell out of me. I wouldn’t know if the car was coming or going. 
Tripler
Although it would be cool. Not as cool as a Vulcan gatling gun, tho.
They must not have seen Annie Hall.
Thank you! I frequently fantasize about installing rear-mounted stadium lights pointing backwards on my car. A few 100,000 Watt spotlights maybe, powered by twelve Die-Hard batteries in series. When an asshat with his brights on pulls up behind me going “Doh de doh de doh, I’m an inconsiderate jizzmack, blindin’ everybody with muh big ole’ high beams!” I just throw the switch and listen for the blood-curdling screams.
Ah, welcome to Western Europe, Fog Light Fetishist Central.
Just so you know, these are the rules, in Holland at least - I expect German rules to be similar:
That’s one helluva fog. A little hazy? A shroud of mist? You regular lights will do fine. And USE them, asshat. All the time. I even use mine on sunny July days. Being seen is half an accident avoided.
Major pet peeve: idiots who’ll run parking lights AND fog lights, just to make sure we all know they only use them 'cause they think it’s “cool”. Seen mostly on older BMW’s, Golf GTI’s, and Subaru Imprezas.
IDIOTS!
Count me as someone who despises people who drive around with their high beams on. Toronto is a big city, with lots and lots of street lights. There is nowhere in the city that requires the use of high beams. I frequently fantasize about getting out at a traffic light and smashing the headlights of the loser behind me who’s doing his best to blind everyone in front of his car.
I have HID headlights on my car, and if I’m forced to use high beams, I dim them whenever another car approaches.
I’m waiting for the people to show up and say, “Fuck you, buddy. If the price of my safety is your retinas, then get yourself a cup, cane, and dog, because I’m not dimming my Novatron 3000s just so you can see.” I know they’re out there.
What about the morons who have one fancy halogen headlight but are waiting for the other one to burn itself out, this drives me crazy! on the road.
DIE MOFO!, OR GET THE OTHER HEADLIGHT NOW! (and aim them buttmunch)
unclviny
(you have my apologies, it’s just that my job involves a LOT! of night driving)
Speaking of parking lights: They’re PARKING lights! They’re not running lights. If you have convinced yourself that the visibility is low enough at the moment to require lights, turn on the actual head & rear lights! At least in California the new cars have DRL so I don’t have to worry about all the schmucks of the world, just most of 'em.
Hey! Loud pi… err, Bright lights save lives, dude!
I once had a guy riding my bumper with his brights on. I figured he had something somewhere that was so fucking important that I should slow down and let him in front of me. He gets in front of me, and being the pissy driver that I am, I flash my brights at him.
He slows down the car, gets right next to me, and puts up one of those bright-ass zillion-candle power spotlights right in my fucking face. I really, really, really hope he tries doing that to a cop one day. I kind of wish I had swerved and smashed right into his car, but I’ll be darned if I’m going to go that far.
I drive with my fog lights on whenever my headlights are on. I drive through several micro-climates between work and home (The Peninsula to / from San Francisco) and I can come across fog / rain / mist simply coming around a turn in the road. But, they reside in the same area as the normal headlights, and they point towards the ground anyway, so you probably don’t even notice them.
Amen to that,
of course there passes not a single morning I to drive to work (from germany into the netherlands for the record) were I dont spot some asshat having its foglights on in perfect clear condition.
Minor hijack:
Why do cars have PARKING lights? Do these serve some purpose of which I am unaware?
At daytime, does anyone actually turn these on to park their car?
At nighttime, does anyone turn their driving lights down to parking lights to park their car?