I have a PhD in Mathematics which hated with passion since '96. Now I am in the 6th year of an internship in which I am paid irregularly – about $3k/year. My parents support me and give me an allowance.
But still I feel like I have no plans of my own. I have Aspergers and Depression.
It’s amazing you could complete a PhD with those problems. So many people give up on an attempt to do this.
Thanks. I am not sure if my PhD is a blessing or a curse.
Well, almost any job you get you will probably wind up hating. I know you probably can’t tolerate a job in math, but, as I say, most jobs suck, actually. The idea is, with a Phd, hopefully you can find a job that pays better than a job without a Phd.
I gave up looking for a job. I feel hopeless.
One step at a time.
I think you should learn to drive. It may be scary but can you do it? If you learn to drive this is the first step to independence.
I am against Autistic Depressed Driving. I would not take such risks.
Besides how would I buy a car?
I am also lazy.
Then improve your mental health.
what is your plan?
To ask for advice and then tell each person who responds why their advice won’t work? Change is very hard, doubly so if you have aspbergers, but, you have to try. Take small steps. If you are scared to drive because of your mental state, work on improving your mental state.
I am lazy too. You have to fight against it.
I don’t know how you will buy a car. But, you cannot refuse to try just because you do not know how you will succeed. Make effort, take the first step, whatever that is, then you do more planning with the next step.
Is there an end game to the internship? An employment kind of thing? I hope treatment for your issues is an option that you use, and that it shows your path to be more hopeful.
Most internships are short duration learning experiences. They are meant to be a stepping-stone or introduction to a profession.
You don’t ask for any advice or pose any questions in the OP, so I guess you’re just venting. It sounds like your life is miserable, and you’re hopeless about changing it. And lazy to boot. It sounds like you’ll be living with your parents and doing the internship forever.
You’re not a collector of firearms are you? If you own any guns, you should do us all a favor and get rid of them.
Never owned or held a firearm. Never thought of suicide.
As a Jew I understand that any life is much better then thousands of years of torment (most Rabbis do not believe there is eternal punishment).
My life is MUCH MUCH BETTER then a life of a totally disabled elderly person in a retirement home. But even that is better then punishment in afterlife.
What branch of mathematics was your thesis in?
I already gave out too much identifying info.
What kinds of jobs have you tried? People with Asperger’s (painting with a broad brush, I know) get overwhelmed in some jobs, but do much better than the general populace in others.
I wanted to be a media person. But I did not ever try any job.
I have abandoned every hope.
I get the strong impression that you use the depression and Aspergers as an excuse not to do anything with your life.
And this is ridiculous.
Who knows? Maybe my inner self uses that excuse.
No, I think your outer self uses that excuse. Certainly you frequently remind us of your diagnoses.
Presumably, he’ll outlive his parents, and then maybe he’ll have to actually address his issues. Unless they leave him enough money that he can remain dependent and inert.