I recently switched over to a mail-order prescription drug insurance plan, and I inadvertently let my prescription for Zoloft run out while I was making the transition from the drug-store pharmacy to the three-month mail-order supply. It has been 7 days now that I have gone “cold turkey” from taking my anti-depressant, I stopped usage without any titration. I haven’t received my new prescription in the mail yet and I have been floored by the effects of suddenly stopping my medication.
I have been using Zoloft for the better part of the past ten years. There have been periods where I have gone off of it but it has always been done with titration and it has been done slowly and carefully. Even then, after a few weeks or so, I would always become aware of my short-temperedness, my wild swings of emotion and my general inability to cope with everday life. Because of this, I have always come back to the drug, realizing that I need it to properly function in the world.
However, this time has been different. This time, the drug was just stopped. Stopped with no titration or careful planning. I was not prepared for the outcome. Over the past few days, I have been pinned down with exhaustive, apathetic depression. I simply cannot force myself to do the things I need to do to take care of myself. I feel like there is no point. I find myself breaking out into tears for no good reason. Yet the tears are so powerful, so intense; they feel like they are happening for a good reason. But that reason remains out of my understanding. (I know the real reason is an imbalance in my brain)
At the same time, while all these negative, terrible feelings are swirling around inside me, I feel a clarity of thought now that has eluded me, or always remained just out of my reach, while I was medicated by the zoloft. Why is this? Is this the “unmedicated mind”, the “un-doped” mind, if you will, finally getting a chance to break free of the drug-induced barriers that have been in place for so long? Do anti-depressants have this effect? All I know is I feel different and it is not entirely, entirely, a negative experience.
“I simply cannot force myself to do the things I need to do to take care of myself.”-From the OP. Yes, I could have done that but I have just been letting things slide. And I thought the prescription was going to be here sooner, so I have been waiting. I don’t say these things as any kind of excuse, just the truth.
Another thing you can do is tell your usual pharmacist what’s going on. Even without a prescription he will probably give you a few days worth. Mine has in the past.
I’ve quit Paxil cold turkey before and had no side effects except a mild headache for a few days. It’s interesting how SSRIs affect people in such different ways.
IANAD, but I’m echoing going to see your pharmacist and asking him/her to loan you a few. I would also call your mail-order company and see if it can be overnighted. Yeah, you’ll have to bear the expense, but you need your meds.
I’m on three kinds of anti-depressants and I can tell if I don’t take them at my regular time. Maybe one of our medicos will check in with an answer. You may need to go to the ER if it continues to be this bad. Suddenly stopping those meds, like BP meds is nothing to fool around with.
Been there. Once had the poor judgment to try going cold turkey from years of Paxil, right after losing my job (which would’ve been depressing anyway).
I’m a cynic, and congenitally allergic to maudlinism. In sudden SSRI withdrawal, I literally wept at TV commercials. After a few days of unbelievable misery, I went back on the Paxil and felt almost instant relief. (I went through a number of other SSRIs and eventually did quit altogether, several years later, using a very extended and gradual tapering method.)
Talk to a doctor or pharmacist and get some interim doses. It shouldn’t be hard and you’ll avoid a lot of unnecessary self-torture.
Is there somebody in your daily life you can tell who cares about you and is forceful enough to drag you to the pharmacist or the doctor? You shouldn’t be relying on yourself to make prudent decisions right now. What feels like clarity at the moment may, in a few weeks, become frightening thoughts you can’t believe ever seemed sensible to you. You are not experiencing your unmedicated mind, you are experiencing your mind while it suffers from SSRI discontinuation syndrome.
I’ve had a similar experience in the past and I’d rather hit myself in the face with a hammer than do that again. Take care of yourself. Do you have anyone who can help you get the daily grind done?
I had something similar happen with my mail order pharmacy. I was standing next to my doctor when she faxed the new Rx for Cymbalta, and it took almost a month for the mail order pharmacy to get it to me. One FUBAR after another. In the meantime, I had stepped down my Paxil and was without any antidepressant, waiting-waiting-waiting. No side effects, no big deal.
Until the third week. I got clobbered with vertigo. Literally hanging onto the walls and trying not to fall on my face dizziness. It took some nasty phone calls and emails to get the mail order pharmacy back on track, and I had to get a local prescription in the interim. And the local prescription was initially DENIED, until I was given the override code by the mail order pharmacy.
Moral of the story: when dealing with a mail order pharmacy, do NOT stop the old drug until you have the new drug IN HAND.
In your case, you needed an advocate to not only deal with the mail order pharmacy, but also to escort you to your doctor’s office for some kind of help.
Antidepressants are horrible, wonderful medications. They literally work miracles. But they are powerful magic and must be respected.
Yes, I am here. I am ok. I snapped at someone at the gym today, though. It was not entirely without merit, but I went overboard. The strange thing is how incredibly AWFUL I have been feeling about the incident, and my behavior, ever since.
I had a couple of dumbbells in my lap and I was approaching the dumbbell rack to put them away. This (very large) man was seated on a bench in front of the rack, with several dumbbells on the floor in front of him. These weights were sprawled over a large section of the floor and were directly in my path to get to the weight rack to put my dumbbells back. I neared the man on his bench and asked him if the dumbbells on the floor were in fact his. The guy, who was just sitting there on the bench (obviously in break between sets), said “Yes, I just have one more set.”
“Well, I just need to get by to put these weights back.” The man looked at me for a good 5 seconds or so, rolled his eyes and repeated himself. As if I was just going to sit there and wait for him to get his energy back, do one more set and then move the weights. “Come on man, is it too much to ask to move the freaking weights now? You are just sitting there!”
“Get the fuck out of my face before I fuck you up” was this guy’s response. “So you are threatening me with physical violence now because I’m trying to get you to pick up your mess?” “Fuck you.”
And then we went our separate ways. A few minutes later, I approached the guy and “buried the hatchet” and told him that I had been in a bad mood all day and I was sorry (even though he never apologized himself, fuck it). But ever since, the incident has just been dwelling in my head and making me feel fucking terrible. I acted like a fucking ass. And it just came out so fast. And just as fast, I felt ashamed.
I am going to call my sister tomorrow and ask her to help me get my shit together. This is unacceptable.
Nothing new to add here, just chiming in to agree that SSRI discontinuation syndrome is a bitch. I’ve been through it with Zoloft and Celexa. It’s not you.
Well I did just end my last post saying that I was going to call my sister to help me get my shit together tomorrow. I consider this decision to be prompted by the advice here. I’m sorry, but I can’t read your “Or do you just want to talk about those weights?” remark without feeling a little confused and slightly irritated. I spoke candidly just now when I shared that story and it was done because I wanted to try to show just how raw and un-settled I have been feeling. Did you read it differently? As something somehow dismissive of what has been said by others here (yourself included)?
I’m not crying right now. However, I don’t know when I might cry again. As far as what is wrong with me, really, why do you ask? Do you think I have answers that I’m not sharing? Do you think I’m falsified anything I’ve said up to this point? I suffer chronic depression and I suddenly stopped my anti-depressant. THAT is what is wrong with me.