Abs of vinyl, buns of hardwood?

So yesterday I had an itch and I reached around to scratch it and was startled to find that my buns felt unfamiliar.

Not steel, exactly; there’s still quite a lot of fat there. But I could feel actual muscle underneath. Call them …hardwood. My abdomen as well… I still have a lot of extra weight and the love handles and gut haven’t gone away, but I can feel a layer of muscle underneath that wasn’t there before. It feels firmer, like one of the old vinyl seats on the subway.

All this exercise is paying off!

Bother. I put this in the wrong forum. Could someone move it to MPSIMS?


Well, good for you. Buns Of Steel are problematic, anyway. When you sit on a bench, everybody hears the clank, and they turn to glare at you.

OTOH, buns of hardwood could be problematic when you exercise to the point where you “feel the burn”…

And congrats from me, too. I have a friend who joined a gym last fall and lost twenty pounds in his first 6-8 weeks. He had a small relapse over the X-mas break (and then some), though.

Moved from IMHO to MPSIMS.

I’ll have to be careful, then. I don’t want to make an ash of myself.

Thanks! That’s interesting. I haven’t lost any weight. I’m still around 195-200-205 pounds, same as when I started. I should probably eat less or better.

I have buns of elastomeric, and abs of construction foam–I am flexible, yet resilient!


Well, you started out much better off than my friend, who was – and still is – seriously overweight. I’m guessing, but he was probably a good 270-285 before, and possibly more. Due to a rigorous schedule of home renovating over the past two years, he’s kept physically active (well, on weekends, anyway), so I’m assuming he had a decent level of muscle to begin with.

A couple of years back, he and his partner both went on Atkins together, and both lost weight, but neither could adhere to it (they’re gourmands, basically, and sane, besides). As soon as they embraced the carbs, it all came back, and maybe then some. However, they’ve both stayed mostly away from booze. The evening martinis they used to put away? The stuff of legend, now. [However, all bets are off for holidays, parties, and celebrations.]

AFAIK, he’s focused on aerobic exercise to burn calories, not the weight-training stuff to build muscle (and maintain weight). I’m sure he’s also cut back on the 2nd and 3rd helpings, and that’s probably the hardest part.

There was an overweight Mexican guy who started working at The Giggling Marlin in Los Cabos a few years ago, dancing everynight. The idea was that it was humorous for this fat guy to be boogying his head off surrounded by beautiful dancing women.


Since he really was boogying his head off every single night of the week, the guy is now thin and a great dancer. (And probably the patrons of the restaurant aren’t getting sprayed with flying globules of sweat anymore, so probably this is for the best.) He probably lost over a 100 pounds just doing his job.