Accidentally Terrifying People

[robotic_panda]

My story…

So I was running up to the store, i’d say 8 pm and about three blocks from my house. Here in NW Illinois we were expecting a winter storm and I was thinking, “If i’m going to be cooped up for the night, I might as well get some hard cider.” Innocent enough, right?

I get outside and it has already been icing out. No worries, its just on the wood and plastic and metal; the paved roads are still ok yet. My car is a different story. An ice blanket is covering the thing, which results in a luxurious 15 minute scrape-off. Luckily, the ice is in sheets mostly, so I slide a bunch off of the car, and i’m good to go.

I drive down the alley, doin’ ok, feelin’ groovy, and whatnot; I stop at the yield sign and realize I can’t see out the passenger side window… in my vigor I had missed a spot… grumble. The blurry headlights of a car two, maybe 3 blocks down tell me I gotta roll down the window or face CERTAIN DEATH! Its coming down freezing rain… I can’t decide.

I (eventually) proceed to put the car in park (no one behind me), take off the seatbelt, and roll down the passenger window. As i’m rolling it down, I notice this side has frozen into a clear, but slightly wavy ice window, a perfect doppelganger of the real one. I get the entire window down, and it’s like there is a whole new window right there. “Cooooool!” I think. Then I remember, this ice is my obstacle. It must be removed.

OK… At this point, I have two options. One, I could roll the window back up, get out, and scrape the passenger side. Or, I could slightly loosen the “ice-window” around the edges, and tap it out. This probably would have resulted in more breakage and mess.

Me? I (wisely) chose option C… Schwarzenegger style. With the fury of a thousand angry emperor penguins, I blasted my fist through the ice-window. I realized just how thin it was when my hand went right through and ice flew everywhere in small pointy plates. It WAS thick enough that it left a fist-sized hole and a nice series of cracks all through it, like tributaries to Knuckles Lake. All in all, it was very impressive and action-heroish.

It was about then I noticed (through Knuckles Lake,incidentally) that the headlights, the very ones that had started this chain of events, hadn’t moved at all. In fact, they were only 2 houses away, very close. I peered further through the dark, and there was a very terrified looking woman in the car. Her dome light was on, and she was looking at ME. She motioned her son (who I suppose she had been parked for) to quickly get in the car, and they drove off. The woman stared at me the whole time, turning her head to look at me as she drove past.
I looked at the streetlight that had been illuminating me… and slowly realized. This lady had seen some girl seemingly stop her car to randomly punch her passenger side window out.

I wanted to pull a Seinfeld, and start running after her car yelling. “It was ice, it was iiiiiiice!!” Instead, I just punched the rest of the ice out. It was fun.

Aaaaah, well; its not like my neighbors associate with me anyway.

At least now they have a reason.

Please, I know I can’t be the only one… who have YOU accidentally terrified? Do tell.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

Love your username, **robotic_panda ** !

[haardvark]

Actually, I’m just popping in to say that I thought the words “Accidentally” and “Terrifying” were both modifying “People”, as opposed to “Accidentally” modifying “Terrifying”.

Which is to say, I thought this was a thread about people who were accidentally terrifying. I was quite intrigued to find out what such people were like.

[bienville]

robotic_panda, please post more often. I loved reading that!

[WotNot]

@haardvark

Actually, I’m just popping in to say that I thought the words “Accidentally” and “Terrifying” were both modifying “People”, as opposed to “Accidentally” modifying “Terrifying”.

Which is to say, I thought this was a thread about people who were accidentally terrifying. I was quite intrigued to find out what such people were like.

Like a robotic panda, apparently.

[robotic_panda]

@haardvark

Actually, I’m just popping in to say that I thought the words “Accidentally” and “Terrifying” were both modifying “People”, as opposed to “Accidentally” modifying “Terrifying”.

Which is to say, I thought this was a thread about people who were accidentally terrifying. I was quite intrigued to find out what such people were like.

Ha! Yes… I suppose I should have called it The Act Of Accidentally Terrifying People and the Consequences Thereof. I knew, KNEW someone would call me on it lol… as for really accidentally terrifying people, i’m sure there are plenty of other message boards they are posting on.

*On preview… why thank you bienville. I’m blushing over here! :o
Oh and Bosda… I know you likey the name! See below:

[robotic_panda]

Hmph, and me, without my manners… bienville and Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor, of course. I’manidiot.

[OtakuLoki]

I am 5’9", weigh 375, and wear a trenchcoat, and a wide brimmed hat.

I have reasons for my apparel. Wide brim hats keep the rain, snow, and sun off my glasses, and prevent sunburn on the top of my head. You only need to have a sunburned scalp ONCE to find it worthwhile to change your clothing habits to prevent it.

The trenchcoat, a nice dark grey london fog, is comfortable, and suitable for bleh weather that’s not quite needing a full winter coat, but too cold or wet, for my preferred insulated vest.

The problem I have is that I walk rather quietly. I’m not saying I’m stealth dude - I’m not. However, I am quieter than most people expect someone of my mass to be.

And I walk outside at night.

So… I’ve been told I loom out of the darkness. I’ve had people cross the street when the see me, or jump, or squeek. And, really, it’s nothing I’ve done or do. I just am.

Of course, singing “I’ve got a little list” from the Mikado when I’m shopping in the supermarket under my breath isn’t exactly the most neighborly thing to be doing. But no one really says I loom in the supermarket.

[robotic_panda]

@OtakuLoki

I am 5’9", weigh 375, and wear a trenchcoat, and a wide brimmed hat.

I have reasons for my apparel. Wide brim hats keep the rain, snow, and sun off my glasses, and prevent sunburn on the top of my head. You only need to have a sunburned scalp ONCE to find it worthwhile to change your clothing habits to prevent it.

The trenchcoat, a nice dark grey london fog, is comfortable, and suitable for bleh weather that’s not quite needing a full winter coat, but too cold or wet, for my preferred insulated vest.

The problem I have is that I walk rather quietly. I’m not saying I’m stealth dude - I’m not. However, I am quieter than most people expect someone of my mass to be.

And I walk outside at night.

Once I saw pants from beneath the trenchcoat, i’d be ok… Unless you had the fake pantlegs tied with strings below your knees! :eek:

@OtakuLoki

So… I’ve been told I loom out of the darkness. I’ve had people cross the street when the see me, or jump, or squeek. And, really, it’s nothing I’ve done or do. I just am.

So, just hand them your finely woven tapestry and they should be fine. Or am I missing something?

I really could not resist. I’m sorry.

[rjk]

Of course the important question about this story, robotic_panda, is whether you’ll see that woman again. Maybe you could get to know her son, if he lives where she picked him up. Then arrange to drop in while Mom is there…

[Podkayne]

There is one guy at work who insists on stealthing up on me when I’m working and listening to my headphones. I don’t know what his deal is! Maybe the eight millionth time he puts his hand on my shoulder and I jump three feet in the air and squeal, he might figure out that it was better to approach me from the side so I can see him coming, or make some noise (other people don’t seem to have a hard time getting my attention by saying my name, despite the headphones!) but nooooo. He walks up from behind every time and touches my shoulder, scaring the liver out of me, and then apologizes profusely.

He’s otherwise a totally nice guy, but I’m starting to suspect he’s some kind of a closet sadist, and he gets off on freaking me out.

[OtakuLoki]

@Podkayne

He’s otherwise a totally nice guy, but I’m starting to suspect he’s some kind of a closet sadist, and he gets off on freaking me out.

When he starts tickling you from ambush, you’ll know.

[Hypno-Toad]

I myself am a “Sneaker.” But being 5’5" I don’t really loom up on people in as much as get under their feet. I used to have fun with this. My mom would call me for dinner or a chore and would yell for me from the kitchen. Of course, I was right next to her and would yell back, scaring her shitless.

I do end up startling the other small folks though.

[Kythereia]

I’ve never been able to terrify anyone, ever, in my life. I’m crushed and miserable and depressed now.

[Shade]

@haardvark

Actually, I’m just popping in to say that I thought the words “Accidentally” and “Terrifying” were both modifying “People”, as opposed to “Accidentally” modifying “Terrifying”.

Which is to say, I thought this was a thread about people who were accidentally terrifying. I was quite intrigued to find out what such people were like.

I appreciate the semantic difference, but wouldn’t that be the same thing in the end? Robotic_panda was accidently terrifying (to the mother).

@Podkayne

There is one guy at work who insists on stealthing up on me when I’m working and listening to my headphones.

He likes you.

[Dante]

What I want to know is how do I stop accidentally terrifying people? Which is to say, haardvark, that I want to stop the accidental terrifying of the people.

Seriously, I do this all the time. Even when I try to approach someone from where they can see me. I also scrape my soles on the floor if I’m coming up from behind someone. Or I’ll clear my throat. Nothing seems to help.

Me: “Excuse m…”
Them: “AAAAGH!” (slaps me with a condom full of porridge)
Me: “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you…”

Maybe I have a built in SEP field or something.

[Anaamika]

@Dante

Me: “Excuse m…”
Them: “AAAAGH!” (slaps me with a condom full of porridge)
Me: “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you…”

A condom? ::snort::

@hypno-toad

But being 5’5" I don’t really loom up on people in as much as get under their feet. I used to have fun with this.

5’5" is NOT SHORT! (my height exactly, I feel like the Caterpillar from Alice).

[haardvark]

@Dante

Which is to say, haardvark, that I want to stop the accidental terrifying of the people.

Thank you for your help. I was starting to sketch out a tree diagram on my big whiteboard here in the office…

[haardvark]

@Shade

I appreciate the semantic difference, but wouldn’t that be the same thing in the end? Robotic_panda was accidently terrifying (to the mother).He likes you.

But it’s a question of who receives the action. There’s the act of accidentally terrifying others, and then there’s other people who are terrifying to you, but not through their own deliberate action, i.e. temporarily.

Well, I’m an engineer, not an english major. It makes sense to me…

[haardvark]

“temporarily” above, should read “accidentally”.