Let’s just say there are no atheists in a car my father is driving. Pretty much everybody thanks God if they get out alive.
Well, I’m a mathematician (and english, so was never taught diagramming). 
Yes, I see that “accidently terrifying people” can refer to (1) people who are accidently terrifying, or (2) the act of terrifying someone by accident.
And I suppose (1) could be either (a) being terrifying at that moment, or (b) being terrifying in general. But (1a) and (2) are the same thing described in different ways: someone is scary to someone without meaning it. It’s just that one way the subject and object are reversed in the sentence.
That’s brilliant. I love it. It’s just the kind of non-sequitur I’d love to use as a .sig line, if you’d be so kind to permit it, Tikki.
I can’t imagine being afraid of someone called Martha, myself. Maybe you should just wear a nametag?
TeaElle, who isn’t short, just small-boned. (5’ even.)
COUGHmartha stewartCOUGH
shudders
How do you allegedly accidentally do that? 
My curiousity is killing me.
Yes, I’ve noticed that axes scare people. A few yers ago I was at home, after school splitting wood on the side of my house. I see someone comming up my driveway, and so go to investigate. From where the car stopped, they couldn’t see the side of the yard, where I came from. I emerged: a seventeen year old with a shaved head, black hoody, t-shirt with a skull on it, and a massive sledge-maul (like an axe, but one side is a hammer, and really heavy). I don’t know what the person wanted, as they sped off upon seeing me.
Also walking home drunk from a halloween party wearing a leather vesttalking loudly and occasionally roaring, holding a wooden sword in one hand, and a plastic axe in the other. Awesome. 
One night at college I was wandering around the bowels of the theatre and found a door I hadn’t known about before. It was unlocked and I found myself in the costume storage locker, above the costume shop. I figured I’d just go out through the shop door and lock it behind me, so I went down the stairs. I didn’t make any noise (though not intentionally) as I walked into the shop, only to see a friend sitting with her back to me working on a project. I didn’t know what I should do because it was obvious she hadn’t heard me. I figured if I started back up the stairs I might make some noise and freak her out, so I decided to try the other approach. I walked toward her and said something like “I don’t want to startle you Jerri, but…” and of course she jumped, screaming. I quickly told her what had happened and she calmed down so I left and that would have been the end of it, except…
about 3 days later I was opening a door in the theatre to head to a class just as she was about to open it from the other side. I remember her reaction being a startled gasp and something along the lines of “stop doing that!”
Sadly, I’ve never gotten quite the same reaction anytime since. 
Had to be something like that, or she thought I was planning to rip her earrings out.
If I did have mugging in mind I like to think I’d at least have picked a victim with better taste than Mrs BMW with her big hair, frosted eyeshadow and tacky baubles. :rolleyes:
Martha’s not my RL name. That is something truly spinechilling.
When I rehired at the Lazy B many years ago, I was sent to obtain the required certifications needed to perform my job. I wasn’t familiar with the building I was sent to and was wondering around trying to find the room I was suppose to go to. I passed a snack machine and stopped to see was offered. Suddenly I felt a hand on my package and turned to see a shorter statured blonde gal with a smile on her face. That smile turned into a frown real quick and her face turned white. She blurted “You’re not my husband” and she turned a ran up the walkway. A few years later I attended a meeting with some engineers and and she was in attendance. I’ve never seen anyone avoid eye contact like she did and after a few minutes she excused herself and left. I haven’t seen her since.
What you need, Podkayne, is a mirror. I spent a very short amount of time working in a “cube farm,” and that’s one of the first things my friendly co-workers taught me. A properly-positioned mirror near your computer screen (or whatever else you might stare at all day) eliminates the problem. Even if you’re not looking at the mirror, movement in the entrance to your cubicle (or office) will catch your peripheral vision.
I could have written that post.
What makes it worse is that I am a fast walker, and I can’t abide walking at the dawdling post of most people. I feel frustrated and like I’m about to trip over my own feet. This means that 6’4" of bearded, buzzcutted TLD comes looming up behind people (usually very late at night when I walk home from the station). But the “victims” are to blame too: please, if you feel vulnerable walking alone at night, DO NOT walk right down the middle of the footpath. Keep to one side, so that I can give you as much clearance as possible and that when you first see me in your peripheral vision, I will have a slower apparent velocity, giving you time to work out that I’m moving parallel to you and not towards you. A couple of extra feet makes the difference in this. Also, don’t walk out of a house a few doors ahead of me, see me, start walking in the same direction ahead of me, and then still act startled when I overtake you. I was there first! I’m not interested in you! I’m just going home. It sucks being scary sometimes. Especially when you’re actually a complete pussycat. Really, most of us scary types are acutely aware of it, and will try to minimise it (ok, so maybe shaving my head wasn’t a good idea), but you need to help us help you.
Anyway, back to the OP, robotic_panda, I read a lot of amusing stuff on this board, but I don’t often literally laugh out loud at them. Your first post did the trick though.
Mom_Crayons and her friend went on a raod trip last year. Mom_Crayons can pack so that she can live a week out of a teen tiny bag, but as a result always needs an iron and ironing borad in her hotel room. So it kind of became a running joke.
They were in the winding mountains of California and finally decided they were tired and had to stop. They found a small hotel that gave them the last room they had. They got to the room, where the curtains were already drawn leaving the room pretty dim in the late afternoon.
After a cursory look they said “Awww… no iron.” Mom_Crayons went to the bathroom, while Friend was going to move the car. But on the way out of the room, Friend saw… an iron! So she picked it up and as Mom_Crayons came out of the bathroom, held it up triumphantly, as if to say “Ta-dah! I found it the iron!”
From Mom_Crayons point of view: Friend had left the room to move the car, she went to the bathroom. She came out of the bathroom into the empty, dimly-lit hotel room to see the silhouette of some maniac brandishing a big rock with which to bludgeon her to death.
Apparently, much to her own surprise, Mom_Crayons can outscream even the most famous of horror film divas.
Her scream scared Friend. Friend screamed and spun around defensively to see who was behind her scaring Mom_Crayons so badly. Upon see the “Scary Figure” actually move Mom_Crayons screamed again.
Hotel staff comes running in to the room to find too elderly ladies lying on the ground with tears in their eyes in complete hysterics. They were laughing so hard, they couldn’t breathe. The hallway door had been open thewhole time, so other guests must have thought they’d checked into the Bates Motel.
Ooooh, I’ve got another one to share.
When I was in college I spent one summer taking summer classes. While I was there I found that an excellent way to unwind was to do some simple, repetitive manual task that would leave my mind free to consider weighty issues. Like the nature of good and evil, what the proper response to political actions of the day might be, and what will dinner be.
I also found that doing this repetitive task outside was kinda nice. I mean, it was Ithaca, and well, school year Ithaca is very different from summer Ithaca. During the school year there is no direct evidence of the sun in Ithaca. One might be able to infer the presence of the sun, but there is no direct observation. It’s even possible that, well, since this was during the Star Wars debates, there was no sun, just orbital lasers being used to simulate the sun. During summer, however, Ithaca has some lovely weather. Including lots of sun.
So, I’d go out onto the back yard of the house I was staying at doing my repetitive manual task, and just think and enjoy the weather, and some down time.
Oh, did I mention? The repetitive manual task I found most therapeutic was using a whet stone to sharpen a knife.
So, one day I was sitting out there, in the sun, with a whetstone in my left hand, the knife in my right, and making slow progress honing the edge onto the blade. And some of my housemates came around the corner of the house. So, well, I waved.
Did I mention I’m right handed?
I didn’t realize why they blanched and turned around very quickly until some time later. I mean it’s not like I did anything threatening, is it? :smack: