Ooh, so close, we nearly had you signed up and then there turns out to be one little thing… 
I wouldn’t worry about the Beatific Vision. It’s sorta-literal and sorta-metaphoric. It’s not staring at God all day. I mean, it is, but…
Dammit, I’m not going to repeat long theological lessons. The short version is, you aren’t going to be bored.
And, oddly, looking a lot like a panel from a Chick Tract. :eek:
The Beatific Vision sounds kind of like the opposite of viewing Cthulhu.
Apparently everyone in Heaven are sexless, genderless, and hormone-less.
You want Chix in Paradise, Islam is your Plan C. But you can’t get a drink there ever.
If that doesn’t suit, try Buddhism. If you drink and chase chix it will, I fear, retard your karma and you’ll be repeating that grasping-attached behavior lifetime after lifetime until you wise up. Sorry.
sure you can. Koran promises entire rivers of wine in paradise.
It may have changed now that they have gone more main-stream but in the LDS religion, if you made it to the “celestial kingdom” at an exaltation level, you are awarded your own planet to populate, your first wife, bound to you in the temple would be with you.
I guess on the bright side, if you had a great dislike for her you could take comfort in the fact that her job was to be eternally pregnant.
BTW all kids who die before 9(?) get to go there too, I don’t know if they get a planet or not.
IMHO that is a lot nicer than the Hell trip other christian kids get to head to.
But, then, why . . .
You folks do know there is no one “Christian theology,” don’t you?
Are you kidding? I think that’s beautiful! I’ve seen that in nature! A full moon encircled by clouds looks just like that!
Gotta love how male-centric the first explanation is; I mean, I know LDS isn’t exactly matriarchal, but the description itself has “you” meaning “men”; the description of what happens to women is incomplete (what happens to women who aren’t the first wife?) and completely dependent on what’s been described for men.
“Other Christian kids” don’t go to Hell, the concept of Limbo came along partly as a place to “park” unbaptised children; any child that’s baptised and still young enough to be considered innocent would go to Heaven.
I like this as a username.
Srsly, is this whole Christian concept of paradise not completely ill-thought out? It’s like someone winged it a long time ago, and then for hundreds of years afterwards, it’s been like “Wait, how would this work? You get to be HOW old in Heaven, and hang out with WHO doing WHAT? Really? Fuck that noise, Hell sounds much nicer, the way you describe Heaven. Wait, what? Oh, you can? Sez who? Oh, that guy from a long ago was wrong? You just got the latest bulletin on afterlife? Oh, you get the Afterlife Newsletter? Good.” etc.
But my idea of paradise is fishing. What am I going to catch in a river of wine? Pickled herring?
According to the NT, it will depend on if the second spouse was married after a devorice, It states that he who puts away his wife and marries another commits adultery, and if he marries one who was put away he also commits adultery, so it may be that both are in Hell? Then there are some who don’t want to see their spouses any more, they stayed together because they believed they had to,but had the hope that death does part them!
With my ex-, I certainly remember hoping her death would part us.
Enquiring minds wish to know, pseudotriton ruber ruber, what your thoughts are about heaven v. hell? Don’t be so reticent, now, we’re really curious.
Yes but Jesus states that He has authority to forgive all sins, and those who believe and are baptized will be saved, so adultery doesn’t matter. Even King David was never accused of adultery by God, though murder David had to repent of.
And I don’t believe you can make a solid case for one spouse being saved causing the other to be, that verse, by Paul, was specifically stated as not the words of the Lord, only Paul as perhaps giving advice beyond any revelation.
That it never ceases to amuse me? Srsly, this is on my All-time Top Ten list of Silly Ill-thought-out Judeo-Christian concepts. (Can’t really blame the Jews much, true, but I always like to give them credit for starting all the silliness.) Just the concept of “being” (whatever that means) with your first spouse for eternity is a hellish concept for some guys, who got married young, drunk and hormonally-impaired, and couldn’t wait until the bitch was dead, while with other guys, the first wife was ok, but that nasty bitch they married on the rebound was a nightmare–and you’re going to make a theological rule based on just about nothing (if that’s not redundant) that applies to both? Comedy gold, Jerry, I tell you, comedy gold.
I wouldn’t want to spend an eternity anywhere. Alone or in company. I know I’d get bored after the first 10^30 years.