Ach, du Lieber! Heino!

My friend Rich’s parents were German immigrants. There was a fair-sized German population in my town that came over after World War II. Rich’s parents had Heino records and had seen him in concert numerous times. Occasionally Heino would come to western Pennsylvania or eastern Ohio and put on a show or two. The whole family would go; they’d never miss his tour.

Rich acknowledged that Heino is kind of corny, but he didn’t care. He always enjoyed the shows, either in spite of or because of Herr Heino’s corniness. I’ve known other people who have had near-Heino experiences, and all reports corroborate that Heino is too tacky to call abysmal and too good to call bad. He’s hard to simply write off, I guess is what I’m trying to say.

Rich and I went through Germany together, and he located a bonanza of Heino CDs to bring back to his parents, who were thrilled to get them.

On a side note: my father is not of German ancestry but of Polish. He listened to this stuff, too, and has dozens of cassette and eight-track tapes of German folk songs and a local radio program called The Happy Polka Hour. I found out just a few months ago that Dad used to play the button box, which is a smaller, simpler accordion. He even owned his own at one time. Next time I talk to him, I’ll have to ask him if he ever owned a pair of liederhosen.

Dammit! I meant to post this under the really crappy songs you like thread! Sorry, folks!

How the hell can anybody like HEINO???
shivers with disbelieve

As for the Lederhosen: Doesnt every American own one?
When I am bored I just go into town and watch all the cheesy tourists with their Lederhosen and strange styria hats on…

No boredom possible when tourists are around… hehe

b dodgy

I coudn’t care less about the lederhosen, but I wouldn’t mind if more American women owned those peasent dresses that are always worn by the women with the men in lederhosen. Every girl looks hot as hell in those, and a bodice is just such a neat idea.

hehe got three dirndls =(the peasant dress)… :wink:
I can sell them to you - I hate them… I loathe them… momma wants me to wear them…

dirndl=very bad

For some reason I was just thinking about German/Polish music the other day…my late grandfather, born, raised and died in Western PA of German ancestry, loved to listen to polka. Sometimes, I just can’t manage to get “The Pennsylvania Polka” or “The Birthday Polka” out of my head.

BornDodgy: I’m with wolfman here. Do what your momma says for once :wink:

Spinner has a Polka Station
Kid you not

I not only own a drindle and a set of jugs perfect for octoberfests ( interpret that anyway you like) I know who Heino is and have masqueraded as him for a (oxymoron alert) german talent show.

12 of us dressed in black turtle necks, spray painted our hair white (not permanent stuff) and wore the Roy Orbison sun glasses and went on stage mumbling incoherently the lyrics to one of his songs.

I would like to take this opportunity to state that we were really drunk.

And we took second place.

Losing to a bunch of older germans dressed as Smurfs talking about the importance of recycling. I kid you not.

but for real German fun, you need Not-So-Crazy Otto. My mom, who is German, had an album she of his she used to play.

I am glad to hear Heino is still around. I remember laughing at him on German TV in the 70s.

Wow, good thing I’m Scots-Irish. Sounds nasty. :stuck_out_tongue:

Otto RULEZ!!!
That guy is totally bonkers…

I wonder what color the stuff he smokes has…
I want the same please…


b dodgy

The mere mention of Heino is enough to make my head explode. I was saved from that fate only by the timely interjection of the image of BornDodgy in a dirndl. :wink: (We need a drooling smiley, I think).

Olentzero, remind me to have you around next time I’m posting drunk. You could save me from unpredictable malaprops.

Only if you share.

Who the holy fuck is Heino?

My aunt once made me a little leiderhosen jumper…it was grey and had the straps of leiderhosen, but with a little skirt…it was sooo cute!
I want a Russian peasant outfit-the flowing loose shift and the kokoshnik.
Or a peasant dirndl sounds kewl.

Who is Heino? Ah, would that no one need to ask such a question! Well, we’re curing the world of Heino deprivation, one sufferer at a time. Check out this link:

Hier liegt der König des Kitsch

Could this be Germany’s answer to Wayne Newton? Maybe. But I’m not sure whether Wayne Newton ever really needed an answer…

Here’s what could be a cool site some day. Watch this space!

ROFLMAO! Thanks, Chance, for the trip down memory lane. I love the Heino Gallery at that first link, especially the old pics of him… makes me think he and Marv Albert must’ve shared a hairdresser at some point. :slight_smile:

All this guy needs is a lined background behind him and he could be Max Headroom in the picture on the main page.

I think I’ll stick with Weird Al for now…

I am bored. It is time for Otto Walkes quotes. Translated by your humble servant dodgy. I am the worst translater ever.
Here we go:

(life in Hamburg/germany)
Oh… there are even people sittin back there - hey! How much did you pay for those seats, or did you get money for them?

(talking to a guy in the audience)
Otto: Is that your wife?
Men: yesssss
Otto: Do you have porn photos of her?
Men remains silent
Otto: Shall I sell you some?

(talking to somebody else in the audience)
Otto: What are you doing for a living?
Men: I am a farmer.
Otto: Oh. Cool. Could you help me up on the stage, but dont touch my potatoes! (he wears big angel-wings so it is hard for him to get up there)

Otto: Thank you, thank you, the applaus is justified.
b dodgy