I don’t entirely understand this. She asks if you want something? Like a beer or something? You decline and she then snuggles up to you? This sounds very, very weird.
You know what they say: no one fvcks like the crazy.
Ugh. Then there’s not much you can do, I’m afraid. She doesn’t sound like she’s far enough along in therapy that she’s going to get better any time soon. And people with BPD are notoriously hard to live with.
I predict that your friend will eventually realize that the good times when she’s in the “love” mode will not outweigh the downsides in the “everyone hates me” mode. It can take a while, but I’ve never seen someone with BPD maintain a relationship until they deal with it. Those manipulations only work for so long.
That’s right, eventually it will get bad enough that threatening suicide won’t be enough. It’s just how it seems to go.
That said, I do have one BPD friend, and she’s doing fairly well. Still, the only way we became friends was that I kept my distance. A romantic relationship was right out.
With good therapy and the right medication, living with them isn’t all that difficult and they won’t be interested in romance.