Addicted To Downy

I was doing the laundry the other day, and I ran out of Downy. Gotta have the fabric softener, so I jaunted to the store to get some.

The store had a great deal on the competitor’s brand, you know, the stuff hawked by the evil bear? It was $3.00 less than my usual brand, so I said what the hell?
Three bucks is three bucks!

I got home, and did the next load of wash. The clothes came out of the dryer soft and fluffy, smelling nice and static free. But you know what? It was not Downy; it just wasn’t the same. I did 2 loads with the other stuff, but I ended up going back to the store for the real goods. I had to. For me, it seems there is no substitute.

Is this a psychological thing? Or could I have an actual chemical dependency on Downy? Yipe!!! Should I concentrate on trying to kick the habit, or is it ok, since Downy has yet to be declared a controlled substance? Are there 12 Step programs for people like me?

Does anyone else have a particular product that you just “gotta have”? (Aside from the obvious, nicotine or caffeine)


Oh, you disappoint me!!

A couple of years ago a party got out of hand and I poured 1/2 a capful of Downy and chugged it like so much vodka.

I gasped.

I saw GOD.

I saw severe purple waterfalls with small furry yellow bears floating in ballons.

I gasped again.

I will never forget the way the stuff just clinged to the back of my throat and slowly taunted me all the way down into my inner digestive tract where I could feel it cause my upper intestines and gall bladder to intensely hullucinate.

Several months after that I had an episode with a razor sharp knife and a gallon of sweet, delicious antifreeze that I don’t want to get into right now.

Hell is Other People.

My neighbor uses that stuff & her dryer vent is right next to my bedroom. Im not too crazy breathing that stuff at night.

Also, whats this Downy ad on tv about just dropping them around the house for the scent? weird.

I’m washing my sheets with the Flores Tropicales scent right now. It’s in the new orange cap bottle.


Boy, that’s a switch. Usually it’s Robert Downey that gets addicted, not the other way around…