I was considering removing to the pit a day or so ago but being informed I 'probably own ssj-man2k an apology" (sic) tipped me over the edge. As far as I can see we were polite repeatedly until it became apparent he wasn’t going to back his position up. Didn’t anyone else find ssj_man2k’s response lacking in courtesy? I certainly thought it was a rude response - an actual apology from him for presenting his opinion as a fact would have gone a long way in restoring my respect for him (such as my respect ever was)
I’m really pissed off. ssj_man2k presented an opinion, he didn’t back it up and most importantly IMO he did a fine job of Parent Blaming. Parent Blaming is a really fun spectator sport where people without kids or people with ‘normal’ kids get to sit around and opine ignorantly about the decisions made by people who are actually dealing with the issues.
Exercise is part of a sensible regime for kids with or without ADHD. It isn’t going to replace ritalin if ritalin is needed. Ritalin shouldn’t be over prescribed ::duh:: but it has its place in the scheme of things.
As the parent of a child with ADD, I agree with you.
I fought for two years to keep my son off the drugs, but nothing was working. The therapists, the special diet, the special classes, nada. Adderal has been a lifesaver.
My son is one of the most active kids in the neighborhood and always has been. Additional exercise would have just made him sweat more and never was that suggested by the many doctors and therapists he saw.
And people can read all the literature and crackpot theories they like, but until you have a kid with ADD/ADHD or are one, you have NO idea what it’s like.
Well, you did come across as a teeny bit–what was the phrase–“umbrage taking”? Does the phrase “duck on a June bug” have relevance Down Under? But knowing your personal history, with your kid and all, I wasn’t surprised.
But you know, people debate books in GD all the time without ever having read them. They just see the Salon.com article, or the CNN news squib that talks about the book, and go from there.
And no, you don’t owe SSJ an apology. :rolleyes: For what? He shared his opinions, you shared yours. It’s what makes a Debate, after all.
DDG I was already pissed off after reading that stupid article which was quoting stuff out of context and making parents seem idiotic. I found the techniques in that book to be much harder work than more ‘conventional’ parenting.
You’re right though - I am fairly low on tolerance when it comes to people posturing about children and syndromes and how to raise them. I think it comes with the territory (and the sleep deprivation ) You need to realise that we as parents of SN kids get this crap all the time. From relatives, other parents, professionals… it just goes on and on. My nod and smile technique runs thin at times.
Well, here’s something that’ll make you feel better. Didja realize who this “Lawrence H. Diller, M.D.”, that Salon asked to review The Explosive Child, really is? Why, he’s none other than the author of Running on Ritalin: A Physician Reflects on Children, Society and Performance in a Pill.
Single mom of an ADHD boy checking in.
I’m so fucking tired of people with ‘normal’ kids or no children at all telling me that I’m wrong for drugging my child. They don’t have a clue about the three years I fought doctors and tried alternative methods.
Buttheads.
No, that’s not strong enough, I need a jarbaby[sup]TM[/sup] curse. Fuckloops.
Well I’m backing Prima. That ssj-man2k person deserved a clip across the ear for his attitude.
I never post in Great Debates, and it’s not because I don’t have opinions. It’s rather that I feel that forum demands more evidence and research than I have the time or the inclination for. (That and the way every thread tends to slide into a discussion about God or Guns).
But it’s clear to me that the OP asked “Are parents being lured into believing in oversimplified solutions to complex problems?”
What followed were several considered responses, questions and explanations of the argument of the book, and the critical reviewer’s position, with an outstandingly clear and moving contribution from robinh.
The contribution from ssj was several short posts that contained statements such as:
“The author of that book should be shot.”
“If you didn’t want to devote most of your life to your kids, then you shouldn’t have had them.”
“And if your kid has ADD, don’t just fill him full of drugs, make him exercise!!”
I think Prima called him rather nicely on the poor quality of his contribution, which would appear inadequate even in MPSIMS. You know, where I hang out.
But someone said to the Primaflora “I understand people should provide cites, but being rude is not an appropriate response to someone who doesn’t. Y’all probably own him an apology.” Oh yeah?
If you look back, you’ll find that the sincere expression of regret that ssj offered when it was proved that his earlier statement was completely incorrect, was this :
This charming post is lacking the words “sorry”, “apology”, “regret”, “mistaken” and the phrase “I was wrong”. Not how most of us would handle being exposed when caught in total error, I surmise. Most of us would say “sorry” wouldn’t we?
In short, this poster is neither industrious enough to make a case, accurate enough in his contribution, honest enough about the extent of his knowledge, or committed enough enough to learn.
He wants the right to make trenchant, and some might say cruelly heartless, criticism of a situation he doesn’t understand or share.
When challenged, he walks away. “I don’t really care any more.”
This behaviour is unattractive anywhere. But if you choose to come into Great Debates, the Parliament House of the SDMB, you had better be a lot better prepared, smarter and more courteous.
I think this person will find there are plenty of Boards that don’t require their members to be accurate or fair, where he might feel more comfortable.
The fact is, any of us who have a chronic (that is, on-going) illness ourselves, or have family who do, spend a great deal of time educating others about that illness. And often people around us, even those who know us, and who we feel should give us credit for our will and determination to fight, can come up with dishearteningly slick comments.
We don’t need your one-sentence solutions. A little patience and understanding would help, but if you can’t give us that, at least don’t trivialise our lives.
Gary, if ssk_man2k had actually backed up his position I for one would have not taken him to the pit. My problem with his posturing is his attitude towards actually providing any cites or anything other than his own opinion in GD.
One of your links didn’t work for me and the acalogic one quite frankly appears to be selling a product and on the loony fringe. That’s quack medicine. Nobody’s contending that exercise is a Bad Thing for kids with ADHD - but it is not a complete solution.
With regards to the general topic, as I don’t have kids and have never met anyone with ADHD I wouldn’t even dare venture an opinion. All I can say is that as far as my folks were concerned, farm chores were pretty much a cure for anything that ailed me. I seem to recall feeling harshly treated at the time, yet somehow looking back on it it was ok.
And please note, the above story is told purely in terms on someone wistfully thinking back to their childhood, and not in any as an opinion on how any childhood disease should be treated.
Does the phrase “duck on a June bug” have relevance Down Under? 
But knowing your personal history, with your kid and all, I wasn’t surprised.