Admit It!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Here is where we must be truthful. We must reveal mild, but embarrassing truths, and suffer the finger pointing and uproarious laughter with pride.

Here we do not reveal such silliness and objective popular culture references such as “I like 'N Sync” – but TRULY humiliating beliefs that we wouldn’t dare to write in our most hidden of My Little Pony Diaries.

I offer myself up as the first victim, of course by saying:

I WILL NOT LIE:

Until about three months ago, I was under the firm impression that men had to ‘milk’ or squeeze their penises to get the pee out.

2

Jarbaby, I’m reeling with disbelief. Didn’t you know Mr. Jar was masturbating???

3

Actually that’s true and we often shoot the cat in the barn with them.

I still don’t know how cup sizes work. I enjoy the atrform but I’m not a details guy.

4

haha kalhoun. Actually I thought the opposite. I thought you ALWAYS had to do the masturbating motions, whether it was for semen or pee.

I know… I know. I’m thirty years old and this has JUST been cleared up.

But no fair! YOU have to admit something.

5

Last Thursday I was at a baseball game and McCracken came up to bat for his second time that night. I wasn’t paying very close attention to his name, being new to the whole idea of WATCHING a baseball game… so I didn’t bother to catch his name.

No problem. They had it up on the big screen. His name was “Sac Bunt.”

He swings. He misses. My boyfriend says “Wtf was that!?” I say, “Well, whaddya expect from a guy named Sac Bunt!?”

shakes head

Now every game I get to hear “Baby, come here! Sac Bunt is up at bat!”

6

Last weekend auntie em informed me that the correct pronunciation of “chutzpah” sure ain’t “choots-pa” like I’ve always thought.

I’m now no longer speaking to her. And probably never will. It takes a lot of choots-pa for her to smash my belief like that. :slight_smile:

7

Mine is so bad that I can only admit that if I admitted it, everyone would say, “Oh My GOD!” It’s one step away from I really thought the Moon was made of cheese.

8

SAY IT

9

You can’t just leave us hanging like that, Sat!

10

While we’re waiting for Sat to come back, I will admit that when someone mentions Hong Kong and/or Tokyo, I have to think really hard to figure out which one’s in China and which one’s in Japan.

11

I have to say to myself “I’d like to buy a vowel” before I know which are the vowels and which are the consonants. (I tknow the group is “a–e-i-o-u-and-sometimes-y,” but what the name of that group of letters is has never really sunk in.

I’ve worked in the puzzle biz for over ten years.

12

I have to concentrate really hard to avoid pronouncing “bass” (as in the instrument) like you pronounce bass the fish.

13

If it’s any consolation, I read “bass” as the fish, before I got to the rest of your sentence.

Surely there must be something stupid I can admit. I’ll think of something…

14

HAHAHAHA! Whattabuncha LOSERS!
I always thought a fortnight was FOUR days, not fourteen.

15

I have to say Never Eat Shredded Wheat to work our which one is East and which one is West.

16

I’m not sure if I’m sharing too much, or if this is the sort of thing you are looking for, but I have NO EARTHLY idea what an uncircumcised penis looks like. No clue. My husband has tried to tell me before, but it just doesn’t make any sense to me.

I don’t get it.

17

If I’m reading and I come across the abbreviation for pound (as in a weight), I say “Lib” in my head and then have to think about what that is.

I also have to go through the “Thirty days hath September” rhyme to figure out how many days are in a given month.

18

I thought Bass the Ale.
When in Philly, I rely on the theme from “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” to tell me which side is safe, and which side is not."

in west Philadelphia, born and raised
on the playground is where i spent most of my days…

19

God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

20

Lsura, I can’t even remember the rhyme. I have to do the knuckle trick, which is as follows:*

Make a fist with palms down, knuckles up. Starting with your pinky knuckle, count off each month, using the troughs between knuckles. When you get to your index knuckle, start over (or go back, reusing your index). So it goes: January (knuckle-31), February (trough-not 31), March (knuckle-31), April (trough-not 31), May (knuckle-31), June (trough-not 31), July (knuckle-31), August (knuckle-31), Sept. (trough-not 31), Oct. (knuckle), Nov. (trought), Dec. (knuckle).

*I hate it when people refer to some vague or unknown concept and don’t explain it, knowing someone’s bound to come by and ask.