I couldn’t tell time on an analog clock until I was 20. I thought about putting it on my resume under “other skills”
Living in Cleveland, I’m continually confused about “North Coast.” See, I always think of the coast in relation to the lake, so I think they refer to Canada.
When I was much younger (but not that much younger), I had some cereal that was wheat squares around rasins. One fine day at breakfast, I looked up at my mother and commented, “I really like this cereal. The rasins move.” She didn’t let me have any more.
When my mother told me I was going to have a little brother or sister, I didn’t bother to ask how the baby would get out of her stomach. There was the belly button right there… I was 4, though.
My mom had a real talent for telling little kids just enough so they thought they had the answer to their sex questions, but not telling them more than they really needed to know. So, for years, I thought babies came out the back (“A special place in mommy’s bottom”.) Hey, I didn’t have any sisters, or even close female cousins.
I was a freakish child who had some peculiar turns of phrases and an odd kind of verbal dislexia. My Mother still likes to remind me of the time I came home from school and told her about the kid there who had “drain bramage” (brain damage)… and how as a safety concious 6 year old I would recommend she put on her “selt beat” (seat belt).
I also had a tendency to take everything literally (like lots of kids). One day we were driving through a park when I happened to ask my Mother where I was born, and she said “here”, meaning my hometown. However I assumed she meant “here” as in the park bench, and I told people for years how my Mum popped me out as she sat there eating her sandwiches.
I also thought “To Be Announced” was very popular TV show. I remember the Sunday morning listings had this show on every channel (pre-cable)
I thought Varicose Veins = Very Close Veins
TV shows used to say “is brought to you by”. I thought “ISBROUGHTTOYOUBY” was one word I couldn’t figure out what is meant. I asked Mom and she didn’t know what the heck I was saying.
I always thought Detroit was down near Texas somewhere. The word Pistons just reminded me of the south west.
I guess i have more of an excuse than you older folks (I’m 18), but this thread just taught me that women have three holes. I always assumed that there was only the vagina and anus. I mean, not like I could see anything in the pornos.
My sister used to think flies and mosquitoes were the same thing.
I used to masturbate by sort of humping the bed and then quickly running to the bathroom.
I used to think only women got orgasms.
It takes a lot of willpower to not pronounce “hyperbole” “hyper-bowl,” “emaciated” “emanciated” and “placebo” “play-see-bo.” I only recently found out how to pronounce them.
I always thought yojimbo was yo-jim-bo.
I didn’t know Jack was a nickname for John. I thought that there was a gay couple name Jack and John living in the condo next to mine.
I’ll post some more later. I can’t remember all of my misconceptions.
Please don’t stone me for bumping the thread, but…
I got a used car about two and a half weeks ago, and unlike my old car, this one has a trip meter. My parents have had cars with them before, so knew what they’re for- to measure how far you go for some length of time. Everyone knows that, right?
However!!! It only today occured to me that I completely misunderstood what they meant by “trip.” How can someone misunderstand that, you ask? Until today I thought trip was being used as a verb- as in " To release (a catch, trigger, or switch), thereby setting something in operation" - which would be what you do to the meter, not a noun meaning going some place.
What can I say? To me, the noun use of trip generally refers to going some place far away, usually on vacation so… <blushes>
I literally just told my fiancee that. I was reading this thread out loud to him, 'cause some of it was making me giggle, but when I got to the part about women peeing, he turned around and gave me this blank stare. “REALLY??” He asked. “My biology class was clearly lacking.” I explained it to him, and he doesn’t believe me, so he’s looking it up now.
It took me 28 years to figure that one out. Secretly, I STILL
think the Washington State Redskins makes more sense, for the reasons that Ellen Cherry outlined.
I am 40 years old and can only do third or fourth grade math.
I can’t add a fraction to save my life.
Add, subtract, multiply and divide that is the extent of my knowledge!
I am 40 years old and can only do third or fourth grade math.
I can’t add a fraction to save my life.
Add, subtract, multiply and divide that is the extent of my knowledge!
Similarly, when I was a kid in French Immersion school, I thought à tes souhaits (bless you) was the verb for “to sneeze.” J’atessoue, tu atessoues, il atessoue, nous atessouons…
I also thought that et ta valeur, de foi trempée (“and your valour, steeped in faith”, from O Canada) was et ta valeur, deux fois trompée (“and your valour, fooled twice”), which I thought was rather an unnecessarily snarky thing to put in the national anthem.
