I only just got this pun too about 2-3 years ago. I’m almost 40.
I usually deal with the left-right problem by pointing “thisaway.”
When I was a wee 'vark I always thought that each nation had a single, designated flag, the Official flag, and that all other flags were copies of the original, Designated, Official flag. Now, this is perhaps not a particularly out to lunch idea, and one might assume that the official flag is kept in a government building or a vault or something, like the coveted standard metre bar in Paris.
However, I always thought that the official flag was the LARGEST one. So, for example, we’d be driving down the freeway and there’d be a truck stop with a humongous flag flying over the parking lot, and I would say, “Mommy, is that THE flag?” and mom would say, yes, that’s a flag, or that’s the flag, or that’s our flag or whatever, and I would get very agitated: “No, no, is that THE flag??” I was probably in my teens before I could articulate my misunderstanding well enough to be told what a dope I was.
That reminds me of a good one–I was a senior in high school when I realized that Karl Marx was NOT one of the Marx Brothers.
First, isthatsowrong, I’m very sorry but that was the funniest damn thing I’ve seen in ages.
Second, my big one:
Me neither. Not even a picture. And I really don’t want to.
And “pelicula” … I think I’ve seen that too. Pretty funny.
I sometimes say " Thank you " to cash machines (ATM).
I didn’t know that!
Kids! Come here! Look what your dad just invented!
The first time I ever answered a wake up call was the other week, in Tokyo, and I thought the bright “ohayo gozaimasu” (or however you spell it) was an actual person… so I reply sleepily and hang up.
“Uhh, it’s a computer,” mumbles my half-asleep roommate.
But it sounded so real!
And yeah, add me to the legions that couldn’t figure out how women pee… and I am a woman! First I thought it was the clitoris and, when it became obvious that it wasn’t, I became completely confused.
And, to make matters worse, when I was about 5 and got the infamous sex talk, I couldn’t figure out where the guy actually put his penis… so I just decided that the clitoris must just develop a large hole and that’s where it goes… :smack: Of course, around 12, I realized how wrong I was…
I didn’t know Ireland was in Europe until I went there a couple of years ago. Turns out my wife is not only Irish, she’s European. I knew where Ireland was, and that it was very close to Europe, but I never copped on to the fact that it is part of Europe. I never really thought about the consequences of that misunderstanding. Did I think Ireland was a continent?
I was laughed out of the room by the wife for this one, too. Why did I marry her again?
When and where are the tickets going on sale?
::picks up folding chair and sleeping bag::
Whenever I’m faced with a ‘left or right’ choice, I have to visualize my 3rd grade piano lessons and see my hands on the keys of the piano before I know which way is left and which is right.
Strangely enough, I don’t have the same problem with port and starboard, which I learnt much later in life as a sailor.
I don’t know why I’m revelling in my own stupidity, but I can’t stop…
I never used the bathrooms in my high school. Six years (the school started in 7th grade), not once did I go to the bathroom during the school day. Why, you ask? Because I didn’t know where they were. How could I be in a building for 1080 days over six years and not know where the bathrooms are? I have no frickin’ clue, but I did it. Some cruel architect put those bastards somewhere strange and I never found them.
Why didn’t I ask someone where the bathrooms were? At first, I was too shy. Then, after a few weeks or months, I realized that I can’t ask because it will then be obvious to all that I have been sitting in class trying to not piss myself. I didn’t want to find out what sort of nickname that would get me, so I held my tongue and did the pee-pee dance. Never wet myself, but those bumpy bus rides home were torture.
If that all wasn’t bad enough, the same thing happened at my second real job. I didn’t pee at work until the company moved to a different building and I overheard someone being directed to the men’s room. I was on that guy like flies on shit. He must’ve thought I was gonna jump him.
And a spectacularly funny Pit thread by ? regarding how he confused **Jerry Lee Lewis ** and ** Jerry Lewis ** for years.
“Goodness Gracioius Great Balls of…Heyyyy Laaaadie!”
Who was dat, anyways?
God that was funny.
Annie Sprinkle already does this, so you’ll have to find your own act. She inserts a speculum and lets audience members look at her cervix. How far are you willing to go for your art?
In elementary school, I swore that the New England Patriots and the Boston Bruins were the same team. I don’t think I knew hockey even existed. I just thought Bruins was a nickname for the football team. Hence, when they were in the Superbowl sometime in the mid eighties (can’t remember) I was rooting for the Boston Bruins. Hey, I was young and therefore stupid.
Glad to know I’m not the only adult who has difficulty with handling shoelaces. I’m 33 and I still have a hard time with remembering how to lace up a pair of shoes. I can do it after a couple “practice” tries, but it’s something I’ve never done often enough to master the skill. I can tie my shoes just fine, although I was seven years old before I could do it without any help.
Being a guy, I know virtually nothing about playing football. I’ve never had any interest in the game and I’ve never bothered to understand all the rules and all the elements to the game.
For years and years, I actually thought that there was a pole planted in the ice at the North Pole. For some weird reason, I pictured it as a red-and-white-striped barber-shop pole with a big brass ball on the top. I finally figured it out at around age 12, when I asked my mother. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, the lightbulb over my head went “ping!” and I felt like an idiot…
I blame Bugs Bunny.
“It took me well over a year to learn how to masturbate correctly. In the meantime, I stuck my penis in every round opening I could find (shampoo bottle – much too small, mayonnaise jar – a bit too big; never did find anything that worked).”
An old-fashioned, glass milk bottle.
No, I’m not going to elaborate.
Tried that. It was too small. Damn near broke that bottle trying, though.
Thats gotta hurt, and that goes for both of you.
Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of pee-pee and tampon demonstrations, because that seems like an area that’s lacking around here. 
I actually did my own PG-rated version of the tampon demos in college, where I’d dip a tampon into water to make it explode. Unfortunately, that did nothing for the fight against ignorance, because I can’t tell you how many of my male friends were running around thinking, “Oh my God, so the second she sticks it up there, it, like, explodes in her coochie!” 