Adult (Sex) Services: Are they safe? Aren't they illegal?

Factual Questions
1

I know, I know, with all these questions, doubts, and fears, I should just forget the whole thing and continue my friendship with my hands, but I want to know the True Story about “adult services” (sex ads) that I read in my local paper that carries The Straight Dope column and the phone company’s Yellow Pages.

Is it dangerous to use these services? I’m currently between girlfriends and can’t seem to get sex for free. I would pay for it if I could be assured that it’s safe. Here are my fears and questions:

These services are prostitution, right? Isn’t prostitution illegal? How can a newspaper and the Yellow Pages allow advertising of services that are known to be illegal?

Might I get arrested for using one of these services? Are they sometimes a sting operation by the local vice squad? Might they secretly videotape me and later blackmail me (whether or not they’re a sting operation)? Might I get robbed, a disease, maimed, killed, or a ruined reputation? Is it safer to go to a service in the suburbs than downtown?

What is the translation of the jargon of the profession (what do incall, outcall, full service, non-rushed session, all-inclusive pricing, discreet, sensual massage, beyond decadent, etc. mean)?

What is the etiquette when inquiring by phone and in person? Is there anything I should ask or not say on the phone? Is there anything I should do or not do in person? Is a tip required? Is it best to pay by cash?

Are the descriptions in the ads accurate or “bait and switch?” Do the different prices ($75 to $300 per hour) reflect differences in quality? Are there websites, magazines, books, or other publications that describe and rate the quality of services in my geographical area?

Some of the ads have rhymes in them. Is this a secret code?

2

They might not be “in person” businesses, they might just be “phone sex” ads.
Ranchoth
(Spoilsport extraordinaire)

3

I think they get off by calling it an “escort service” and then it is assumed that the woman just takes a dandy liking to you and has sex with you. On the clock of course, but I think they skirt it by saying that if the women want to have sex with the men, then they don’t prevent it. Basically, you’re paying for an arm candy escort and then the sex is implied without any official mentioning of it.

4

>> I’m currently between girlfriends

I envy you. I once had a couple of girlfriends and I proposed doing the “me in between” thing but they wouldn’t go along.

Oh? You didn’t mean it that way? I see. Well now you sound like the guy who never really had a job and has been unemployed for the last ten years and, when asked, says “I’m between jobs”.

>> can’t seem to get sex for free.

You never will as it goes against the laws of physics and thermodynamics. Besides DIY there are two kinds of sex: the one that’ll cost you and the one that’ll cost you even more.

Now, in all seriousness, if I were you I’d save my money. You need the money more than you need the sex and you do not need any trouble. Take a nice girl out to dinner and see what happens.

5

All those questions you asked about bad possible outcomes? Yes, they could happen. In fact, you KNOW they could happen, and your post clearly indicates you’ve given it a lot of thought . You are just looking here for somebody to support the idea of you hiring a prostitute. And maybe iving you a better idea of your chances of getting away with it unscathed.

6

As with other law questions, whether its legal or not depends where you are. Nevada? California?

For example, for one escort agency in California, the people who give the woman the job tell her that she must pay them $160.00 & can keep whatever she makes on top of that.

What do you mean by ‘safe’?

7

Just yesterday, I was hanging with some friends (male, single), and one of them said when he visited Vegas a few months ago (yes, it really was my friend, and not me - I have never been to Vegas) an ‘escort’ solicited him, but he took a pass on it (she gave him a card indicating she did personal ‘flower’ arrangements.
:stuck_out_tongue:

Anyway, the key thing was she offered him a discount in price for since it would have been his first time with an ‘escort’ (and he still turned her down :wally ), so remember to ask for the ‘first timers discount’ :smiley:

8

Mexican brothels are a safe bet. Since they are govt regulated, the girls get examined weekly, they have very strict condom rules, and you aren’t likely to get mugged. Prices are great too, and the girls are usually young and pretty. In Vegas, there are several dangers other than getting arrested. One, if you go to the bathroom the girl may steal your money or stuff. Stay totally away from any girl that works the street. I read somewhere that if you want an escort in Vegas, to talk to a Bellman, as they will know some girls that are reliable. While most massage parlors, and other adult businesses pay off the police, there is always a chance of arrest, particularly in an election year. Here in Nashville the local sheriff (woman) decided to run for congress, and all of a sudden the 30+ massage parlors that had operated openly for years were all shut down in less than a week. She lost the election, now it will be interesting to see if they reopen.

9

The decision to ban prostitution is on a state level. If a state doesn’t ban it, the individual cities or counties can. The only state I can think of where such a thing would be legal would be parts of Nevada. Prostitution is banned in Vegas, but legal in many other parts of that state. I suppose these services could be a cruder version of a dating service, with both partners paying a fee to be introduced for purposes of having sex, and be legal.

However, legal or not, most services that deal so candidly with instincts of that type frequently aren’t the safest businesses to be around. Just think of Bourbon Street, if you’ve ever been there. The bars and strip clubs there are legal, but it’s still not the sort of place I’d feel comfortable visiting at night without some protection in my pocket, and I don’t mean a condom. I think you probably have good reason to fear all the things you listed, from diseases to murder. Even if your religion doesn’t have any prohibitations against prostitution, buying sex is frequently buying trouble.

10

I can’t vouch for anything I say here, but I have heard of a website called and there are several other swinger sites that are supposed to support the kind of lifestyle you are looking for.

Out here in San Diego, where this whole Danielle Van Dam/ David Westerfield trial happened, I was surprised to learn that all kinds of couples (including the Van Dams) get together at a bar just down the road from where we live to swap wives, or so the story goes.

11

If you think about this from even the crudest long-term, practical point of view (i.e., getting “free sex” in the future), what could possibly be a bigger turn-off for future potential girlfriends than knowing that you’ve been with a prostitute?

And nothing travels faster than gossip. An acquaintance could happen to see you and your “date,” or you might inadvertently share your little secret with your your buddies while out drinking some night, or you might decide to confide in some future girlfriend because she strikes you as so honest and trusting. It’s not like you’d have to get caught in a sting operation and your face shown on the evening news for word to get out and around.

12

Yo,

What is the deal with all those ‘get paid to have sex (or smoke MaryJ, etc)’ ads you see on TV and internet popups?

Supposedly they are legitement scientific research projects, and are legal etc.

Finally, what would be the legality of starting a ‘fertility clinic’ with ‘personal sperm donations’, ie a gigilo (sp?) service.?
-Blah

13

I can’t help with the questions, but it seems to me that most answers until now aren’t genuine factual answers to the OP enquiry, but attempts to convince him that he shouldn’t meet a prostitute. Even some apparently factual answers seem very biased to me. I doubt there’s a great risk of being killed in the process, for instance.

14

Not sure about in the US, but in the UK having sex with someone for money is NOT illegal. (although not declaring the earnings may be).
It is the act of soliciting for ‘business’ which is illegal. No standing on street corners or advertising. (No cites, so maybe this is heresay also, but its what I’ve heard).

15

In response to the OP, here’s a line from the Simpsons:

Homer: You know, you’ll be surprised how much you learn when you just listen.
Moe (in backroom on the phone): Hello I’d like to arrange for an escort please.
To where?! How about to orgasmville?!?
Hello?
Put that down on the “Not-to-do list”. :smiley:

16

As per Aro’s comment, in Canada, prostitution is not illegal per se. Soliciting for prostitution in public is illegal. Living off the proceeds of prostitution (e.g. pimping) is illegal. But if we’re in my hotel room as Candi Kane and I agree to do the noodle dance for $X, that’s legal.

However, just because an escort service looks legitimate doesn’t mean it is; in Toronto we recently had a major sting in which many escort agencies were targeted and their owners sent to jail because, as it turns out, a lot of their escorts were underage. They were ratted out by a customer who discovered his escort was only 16 and went to the cops. So you never know.

17

Yarster, I have deleted the name of the online service from your post. I don’t know if what they do is illegal (I suspect it is), but in any case we don’t need to give them any free advertising here.

I’m rather hesitant to leave this thread open, but I will for now. Let’s restrict ourselves to discussing what the law says, and avoid giving tips on how to do things that are illegal or things that you’re not sure are legal.

bibliophage
moderator GQ

18

I would like to know what you are refering to by “Mexican Brothels”? Are these brothels in Mexico or just a “type” of brothels in the US?

19

Hey Click, do you have “Craigs List” in your area? In San Francisco gays and straights use it to hook up all the time. I thought it was mainly a guy to guy thing. But recently, on a night I met a guy, he said a female neighboor of his was on her way to meet up with a guy she had met through the list. No money exchange. Just consenting adults doing what they feel like in the privacy ot their own homes. Oh, and using the list is free.

20

I would like to know what you are refering to by “Mexican Brothels”? Are these brothels in Mexico or just a “type” of brothels in the US?

I was referring to brothels actually in mexico. Many border towns have “boys town” areas, which are walled in areas where the houses are allowed to work. One other tip. Dont try to save money by going with someone who is out on the street. They are transvestites, as a friend of mine learned the hard way.